3. Relationships Matter - Building Relationships Series

Ready, Respectful, SAFE.

Part of the Advanced Practitioner Building Relationships series

start

Relationships Matter

Check out original sources and further reading.

Bibliography

COACHING - CIRCLES NOT LINES

PLENARY

RESTORITATIVE ESSENTIALS

Unit 3

EMOTIONAL CONSISTENCY / EMOTIONAL CURRENCY

Unit 2

PUSH AND PULL

Unit 1

By the end of the session I will be able to...

Objectives

Session Over-View...

Index

06. Develop collaborative and respectul relationships with learners, colleagues and external stakeholders. 13. Promote and support positive learner behaviour, attitudes and wellbeing. 14. Apply motivational, coaching and skill development strategies to help learners progress and achieve.

ETF PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS LINK

To consider coaching as a 'circular' strategy for learning positive behaviour.

Objective 04

To recall elements of restorative practice to maintain positive relationships.

Objective 03

To explore how emotional consistency and emontional currency impacts relationships.

Objective 02

To discuss the use of 'push and pull' in own practice.

Objective 01

Language Matters...

Objectives

To discuss the use of 'push and pull' in own practice.

THE PUSH & PULL

Unit 1

"The Push is the nudge, the consequence, the difficult conversation and the coaching. It is what you do to hold the boundaries and hold the children accountable for their actions. It is supportive and understanding, but The Push has no problem with saying 'No' and saying it strongly. Whether you are correcting behaviour in the moment or reflecting after it has happened, you need a plan."

THE PUSH

"The Pull is about your relationship with the class and with individuals. Your emotional leverage is built from the drip, drip, drip of everyday interactions. It matters that you notice the good stuff, that you are kind when children are struggling, and that your first response is curiosity, not judgment."

THE PULL

PAUL DIX - THE PUSH AND PULL

Unit 1

To explore how emotional consistency and emontional currency impacts relationships.

EMOTIONAL CONSISTENCY / EMOTIONAL CURRENCY

Unit 2

2 min INTERVENTION

"Emotional consistency and refining routines. Visible and audible consistencies make the school live and breathe with your values. Emotional consistencies are harder to pin down but no less critical. Emotional consistency for the children comes with the ability of the adults to control their emotions in response to poor behaviour, and instead put empathy and logic at the heart of every interaction. Easy to say, hard to do on a Thursday afternoon when you've been run wrecked by Chelsea and her attempts to gradually and discreetly complete a full facial over the course of three lessons. Unregulated children need obviously regulated adults, even if their behaviour seems designed to frustrate this."

2ND BEHAVIOURS

FOGGING

Quotes to think about...

Unit 2

Considering our Paul Dix strategies what errors is this teacher making in heat of the moment?

What would you do?

Paul Dix - In Action Techniques

Unit 2

To recall elements of restorative practice to maintain positive relationships.

RRESTORATIVE ESSENTIALS

Unit 3

Considering Restorative Practice elements from session 2 - what techniques do you notice being used in this conversation?

What do you notice?

Restorative Conversations - In Action Techniques

Unit 3

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU NEED TO DO TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT?

HOW CAN WE PREVENT IT HAPPENING AGAIN?

WHY IS IT A PROBLEM?

WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

WHAT HAPPENED?

RESTORITATIVE PRACTICE RECAP...

Unit 3

To consider coaching as a 'circular' strategy for learning positive behaviour.

COACHING - CIRCLES NOT LINES

PLENARY

John Whitmore - Coaching for Performance

WILL

OPTIONS

REALITY

GOAL

THE 'GROW' MODEL RECAP...

Unit 3

That means:- Not removing students from class - Empathy for even the most frustrating of behaviours - Seperating the behaviour from the student - Truly seeking to support and reintegrate

"School behaviour policies tend to run in straight lines. Many are travelators to fixed-term exclusions with written warnings, formal meetings, written contracts, and sworn promises made in blood (well red pen). A series of red lines and serious threats designed to crush undesirable behaviours. Of course, these exclusionary systems that demand the child changes immediately are reflected in classroom practice......It’s all a bit binary. It's an unevidenced authoritarian fantasy. And it isn’t what children need now or ever. Schools that are serious about improving behaviour and relationships seek to reduce exclusion and increase inclusion. Simple. They are wired differently, with circles in policy that play out in practice. Relational levers replace a hierarchy of punishment, conversations teach new behaviours and co-regulation means children gradually learn how to regulate themselves better. Schools that focus on circles have classroom behaviour plans that are focused on support and relationships."

But we must practice what we preach!

WE ARE AN INCLUSIVE COLLEGE

CIRCLES NOT LINES

Unit 3

Dix, P. (2017). When the adults change, everything changes : seismic shifts in school behaviour. Bancyfelin: Independent Thinking Press. Layla Dehaiman (2020). Restorative Conversation. [online] YouTube. Available at: https://youtu.be/nG1QBjAeC74?si=YCBypi6S0Yv7oIUN [Accessed 1 Aug. 2024]. opieboyboy (2010). Cornell Professor Outbursts at a Student’s ‘Overly Loud’ Yawn. YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuLaQoQP9oo. Whitmore, J. (2017). Coaching for performance: The principles and practice of coaching and leadership. 5th ed. London: Nicholas Brealey.

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Bibliography

Thank you!

WILL • What will you do? • How will you do that? • When will you do it? • Who will you talk to? • Where will you go? • Is there anything you need to put in place before that? • How committed are you to taking that action? • What will it take for you to commit to that?

GOAL • What is your aim for this discussion/session • What would you like to achieve by the end of the session? • How will you feel when you have achieved your goal? • What will other people be saying to you when you have achieved your goal? • What will you have that you don’t have now? • Imagine 3 months from now, all obstacles are removed, and you have achieved this: - What do you see/hear/feel? - What new elements are in place? - What is different?

REALITY • What is happening at the moment? • How important is this to you? • On a scale of 1–10, if an ideal situation is 10, what number are you at now? • What number would you like to be at? • How do you feel about this? • What impact is this having on you? • How does this impact other areas of your life? • What are you doing that takes you towards your goal? • What are you doing that is getting in the way of your goal?

OPTIONS • What could you do? • What ideas do you have? • What alternatives do you have? • Is there anything else? • What has worked in the past? • What steps could you take? • Who could help you with this? • Where could you find out the information? • How could you do that?