Who Am I?
Laura DM
Created on February 1, 2024
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Transcript
And the highs, the lows and the laughs
Laura Davin
A reflection on
Laura's Chapters
10. Where to next?
9. Learning to be free
8. A domino of trauma
7. Parenthood
6. Matt
5. Bang goes the brain
4. Running away to the circus
3. Realising you aren't you
2. Leaving people you love
1. Who is Lu?
This is truly written with love. I would never change anything in my life, although things may have been tough, I am truly blessed...
Before we start
Em
Mum
Allie
Ty
Mace
Matt
Uncle Mike
Grandad
Nan
Auntie Ju
Laura / Lu
Main Characters
I was celebrated by my family. They were proud. However, no matter how loved I was, it didn't stop the abandonment from my Mum. I was left for days and days at a time. Sometimes, when older, being taken with her and locked in rooms. But I knew I was loved.
Here we go, the first time I have put into words my life story. I was born on a sunny Friday in July 1987. My Mum, aged 16, hid her pregnancy for the first 5 months. Scared, alone and unsure who my Dad was, she kept quiet.
Who is Lu?
What do you see when you look at this photo?
Religion, whether frowned upon or not taken notice of, played a big part of my childhood. It provided love, warmth, stability, and an excuse to have Sunday adventures with my Grandad. It has been a constant throughout my life.
01:00
This little girl was tired. She had moved in with a stranger, she missed her family, she was cut off from them. This was my 5th birthday. After everyone went home, I was punished for something I didn't do, and sent to my room until the next day. The patterns of mental abuse were constant she was in a household were she mattered less and less. Through doing this project, I have been able to open up freely to my Husband about what went on in this house.
Leaving people you love
Over the years, we moved house twice. Before Warrington we didn't live in a nice area, leading itself to witness some awful events. At aged 11, I became a sister and I secretly found out my Dad wasn't my Dad. It was at this point that I was pushed aside, and it was a welcomed relief. My Auntie and Uncle could see this, and I spent more and more time in their company, until that came to a sudden halt with accusations from home coming towards them.
Realisng you aren't you
At aged 15 I got my first job. It was in Liverpool where my Nan worked. I loved this, however it was seen as an excuse to leave me in Liverpool Friday to Sunday. I slowly left this job after a long year and worked for a wonderful showman family. I was loved by them, spent weekends travelling, half terms and summers on adventures, and really, truly making memories.
Running away to the circus
Between 16 and 18 I went to a local college and really studied hard. Even getting 100% on my A level Psychology, applause please.
Bang goes the brain
And then, I witnessed a fight, I was pushed, I smacked my head, and the rest is forgotten history.
God, I LOVE this man. We have been together since we were 18. So, only a few years. The longer we are together, the more I love him. He has seen me at my worst, my best, my hardest and he is still here. As a family we have never been stronger, but unfortunately, that has not always been the case.
Matt
Born in 2010 and 2012, these two souls are my everything. Macey Ellen and Tyler Ryan have given me puropse, love, security and peace. Forever an evolving relationship, with so much laughter. I have so much gratitude for them being mine.
Parenthood
2020 - I witnessed a man be killed in front of me2021- I was held at knife point2021- Again, held up with a machete and locked in a room2022 - Ritage dies in my arms2023 - Kyra and Macey
A domino of trauma
After all of the trauma, I have struggled to deal with the emotions that come with it. Naturally, it is easier for me to continue and to disregard them. I have sought comfort in small steps towards healing, towards putting boundaries in place and making time to sit with my emotions as uncomfortable as that is.
Learning to be free
I remind myself often that I am in control of my life. What I want to do with it is my concious decision. Where to next? To peace, to acceptance and to continued love.
Where to next?