GROW

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Example

What Will You Do?

WILL

What Options Do You Have?

OPTIONS

What Is Reality?

REALITY

Goal Setting

GOALS

Shifts Focus

End Goal

Summarizes

Purpose of Conversation

Example

MICHELLE: I’d like to talk about the Summit project, and in particular I’d like to hear your take on how it’s going managing the project team. Is now a good time? What would you like to get from our discussion? SAM: It’d be good to talk through the issues I’ve got with some of the individuals who aren’t pulling their weight and the fact we don’t have adequate resources to meet the current project deadlines. MICHELLE: OK, sounds like you’ve got a lot to contend with at the moment. I do want to focus our attention on your people management skills, as you took on this project management role to develop these. However, given what you’ve just said, I’m wondering what would be most helpful for you to explore or resolve right now. SAM: Another five people to work on the project would be brilliant, but I bet you’ll say there’s no budget for that! MICHELLE: You’re right, we don’t have budget for more people. I’m hearing that people resource is the biggest thing on your mind currently. What would you say is the most pressing concern? SAM: To be honest, it’s Johann and Catherine, who just aren’t delivering. They say they’re going to do something and then don’t do it. I can’t rely on them. Then when I confront them about it, they just get upset or start blaming me. It’s a nightmare, and because of them, our first delivery milestone is in jeopardy. MICHELLE: How are you coping with it all? SAM: It’s stressing me out. I’ve had enough of their excuses. I don’t know how I’ll tell the customer that we’re going to miss the first delivery milestone. MICHELLE: I’m here to support you with this and I’m confident that you will be able to work through it. What would be a good outcome from our discussion on these issues? SAM: To get Johann and Catherine to step up and do what they’re paid to do. MICHELLE: And what do you want? SAM: To be less stressed and have more time to do the things I’m meant to be doing to get the project back on track. MICHELLE: I’m sensing it’s important to you that you meet the delivery timescales for the customer. What will it mean to you to deliver this project on time? SAM: Doing the best job possible and keeping the customer happy is what matters most. MICHELLE: And taking a step back for a moment to look at the big picture, what’s important about that goal for you? SAM: Well, succeeding here will give me the experience and track record I need to apply to join the regional sales team, my ultimate goal. MICHELLE: Great, so succeeding here will mean you are a step closer to your ultimate goal. Coming back to this project then, what would you say your overall aim is? SAM: Everyone on the project team pulls together to deliver for the customer, not just a few of us. MICHELLE: I’m hearing your frustration with some of the team. What do you ideally want your relationship with them to be like? SAM: I want them to take responsibility for their work and have pride in what they do. I also want them to respect me. MICHELLE: It sounds like you’ve got two goals: 1. To get the project back on track and keep the customer happy. 2. To improve your relationship with Johann and Catherine. Would it be helpful to flesh out those two goals? SAM: Yes, definitely.

Expands Awareness

Coachee's Role

Celebrate

Objectivity

Example

MICHELLE: One of your goals is to get the project back on track. How far off track is the project currently? SAM: Well, actually it’s only the service delivery element that’s way off, as it’s not even been started yet. The rest is pretty much on schedule. MICHELLE: Let’s come back to look at the service delivery element in a moment. You said the rest is pretty much on schedule. That’s brilliant, well done! What’s helped you to keep the rest on track? SAM: The business analysts have worked really hard and listened carefully to the customer’s requirements throughout. The software developers raised issues early, which meant that we were able to resolve problems that would have come up during testing before they became problems. MICHELLE: How did you contribute to the business analysts and developers working like this? SAM: I made sure they knew what was expected of them and always had at least two people from each of the teams attend the customer meetings, so they could hear things first hand. MICHELLE: What else did you do? SAM: I contracted with the team leaders at the start of the project to agree how we’d monitor progress and individuals’ performance. MICHELLE: What else? SAM: I raised any concerns I had with the individuals directly and I made sure I recognized people who went the extra mile. MICHELLE: What’s different in the way you’ve been working with the service delivery people? That’s where Johann and Catherine work, right? SAM: They came into the project team later than everyone else and even though they were invited to project team meetings, they haven’t been to any of them. MICHELLE: What else has been different about how you’ve been working with them? SAM: I heard from Bob that they can’t be trusted, so I was disappointed when I heard it was them joining the team. I wouldn’t have picked them. MICHELLE: How do you think that has affected the way you interact with them? SAM: I suppose I’ve been a bit standoffish with them and to be honest, I haven’t spent the time with them that I have with others in the team. MICHELLE: If you were in their shoes, what would you need from the project manager? SAM: Clear direction and then to be left to get on with it my way, without constant interfering. MICHELLE: What do you think Johann and Catherine would say about the way you are managing them in this project? SAM: I’m sure they’d say that I micromanage them. MICHELLE: What do you sense they need from you as the project manager? SAM: Autonomy. Trust. To feel like a valued member of the project team. MICHELLE: What do you need to do to create that? SAM: Well, I need to contract with the service delivery team leader at the start and spend more time making Johann and Catherine feel a part of the team. I started out all wrong! I am going to go off and do this now.

Example

MICHELLE: Let’s brainstorm a list of things you might do to motivate everyone on the project team. Imagine you had no constraints, what might you do? SAM: I could give them a pay rise. MICHELLE: What else? SAM: I could give them more time off. But these are things that are out of my control. MICHELLE: What could you do that is within your control? SAM: I could let their team leaders know what a great job they are doing so they are in line for a bonus and pay rise at the end of the year. MICHELLE: What else? SAM: I could say thank you more often. MICHELLE: What else? SAM: I could do something that makes us feel like one big team, but I’ve no idea what. MICHELLE: If money and time weren’t an issue, what would you do to make everyone feel like one big team? SAM: I’d co-locate everyone on the project team together in the new building. MICHELLE: What if you were the CEO of this company? What would you do to motivate everyone on this project team? SAM: I’d let them know how much I value the work they are doing and how important it is to the company’s future. MICHELLE: If you were Johann or Catherine, what would you do to motivate everyone on the project team? SAM: Oh, that’s a difficult one … I think I’d get a new project manager to replace me! MICHELLE: If you could get a new project manager, what attributes and behaviors would they have that Johann and Catherine would like? SAM: Patience. Being non-judgmental. They’d help Johann and Catherine to sort out problems themselves. They would discuss rather than confront them on issues. MICHELLE: If you were the world’s leading expert on project management, what would you do to motivate everyone on the project team? SAM: I’d have monthly progress meetings with every single member of the team to help them reach their potential. MICHELLE: What else? SAM: I’d have weekly team meetings that are short and focused so everyone’s aware of what’s most important this coming week. MICHELLE: What else? SAM: I’d introduce a simpler way to track progress of the project for everyone. MICHELLE: We’ve looked at a number of options for motivating everyone on the project team: a pay rise, letting their team leaders know what a great job they are doing, saying thank you more, co-locating everyone, regular meetings, simpler project tracking, a new project manager. Which ones do you want to explore some more now? SAM: Having everyone working together under one roof in the new building would make such a difference. MICHELLE: Great, just before we do that, I am curious about what you feel right now. SAM: I don’t know, I feel overwhelmed. MICHELLE: There’s an idea I’d like to throw into the pot, if that’s OK with you? SAM: Sure, what is it? MICHELLE: When I’ve got loads on and start to feel overwhelmed, I find that going to the gym to exercise more really helps me to work off the stress. What could you do to work off your stress? SAM: I’m not a fan of the gym, so that won’t work for me. MICHELLE: What would work for you? SAM: Getting outside either gardening or fishing, or just a walk in the fresh air.

Example

MICHELLE: We’ve explored a number of possible things you could do to motivate your team and get the project back on track. What are the things you want to move forward with? SAM: Definitely the way I deal with issues that come up so I feel less stressed and, hopefully, others will too. MICHELLE: So, what are you going to do about dealing with issues? SAM: Deal calmly and confidently with issues when they arise and discuss them with people and help them to sort issues out themselves. MICHELLE: When will you start? SAM: Now. MICHELLE: What will you do to ensure you feel less stressed and more able to have productive conversations? SAM: I will take three deep breaths and then listen non-judgmentally to understand the other person’s point of view before forming my opinion. I will also make sure my questions are formulated in terms of what’s working and not working, versus whose fault the problem is. MICHELLE: What might get in the way of you remaining calm and confident and discussing rather than confronting? SAM: If there are too many issues happening at once. MICHELLE: What would help with that? SAM: A bit of fresh air to clear my head. MICHELLE: What specifically will you do the next time there are too many issues and you need to clear your head? SAM: I’ll go for a 15-minute walk in the park outside. MICHELLE: What else do you want to do to motivate the project team and get things back on track? SAM: I think I will explore the possibility of moving the project team to the new building. MICHELLE: What exactly will you do to explore this possibility? SAM: I’ll need to find out who’s responsible for premises and what the process is for getting approval. MICHELLE: I know the person in charge, would you like me to put you in touch with them? SAM: Yes, please. MICHELLE: What else can I do to support you with this? SAM: Could you find out what criteria they use for moving to the new building? MICHELLE: Yes, I can ask about that. Let’s turn our attention to Johann and Catherine. What do you want to do there? SAM: It’ll be a good opportunity to make peace with them. MICHELLE: What specifically will you do differently the next time you speak with them? SAM: I will be patient and calm. MICHELLE: What will help you be patient and calm in an actual meeting? SAM: I need to make sure I have time to be fully present in my meetings and start the meeting off by asking for others’ assessments of what the issues are and how they might be resolved. I will then recap what I have heard and ask non-judgmental questions to get a clear picture of reality. MICHELLE: Sounds great. And what else? SAM: I will acknowledge the fact that we’ve got off to a bad start, and I will let them know how important they are to the project. MICHELLE: What will you do about making it easy for them and others to raise issues easily? SAM: I’m not sure. I’ll need to give that some more thought. MICHELLE: When will you do that thinking? SAM: On the train this evening. MICHELLE: How will you hold yourself accountable for doing that? SAM: I will take notes of my reflections and share them with you in the morning. MICHELLE: What I believe about you is that you are ready to let go of the stress of doing it all yourself and have the potential to bring out the best in your team and enjoy what you do. SAM: Thanks! MICHELLE: Let’s just check back to the goals you set at the start of our conversation. You said you wanted to feel that you can get things back on track, and you wanted some ideas on how to motivate the project team and forge healthy relationships with Johann and Catherine. Where are you with these? SAM: I’m feeling much more confident and optimistic that I can get things back on track. In fact, I feel I am back on track and things aren’t as bad as I thought. I’ve got some solid actions too that I’m sure will motivate the whole team, including Johann and Catherine. MICHELLE: It looks like you’ve made a note of all your actions. Do you want to recap them now? SAM: No, I’m confident I’ve got everything noted down and I’m eager to get on with things. MICHELLE: On a 1–10 scale, how committed are you to take all of the actions you’ve agreed? SAM: A 9. MICHELLE: What would make it a 10? SAM: To know the project team members are in alignment with all of this. I think I’ll have a chat with some of them now.

SAMPLE QUESTIONS

“Unless behaviour changes, nothing changes”

• Which option or options do you choose?
• To what extent does this meet all of your objectives?
• What are your criteria and measurement for success?
• When precisely are you going to start and finish each step?
• What could arise to hinder you in taking these steps?
• What personal resistance do you have, if any, to taking these steps?
• What will you do to eliminate these external and internal factors?
• Who needs to know what your plans are?
• What support do you need and from whom?
• What will you do to obtain that support and when?
• What could I do to support you?
• What commitment on a scale of 1-10 do you have to taking these agreed actions?
• What prevents this from being a 10?
• What could you do now or later to raise your commitment closer to 10?
• Is there anything else you want to talk about now or are we finished?

“Having choice is better than having no choice”

• What options do you have?
• What else could you do?
• What if . . . ? (time, power, money, etc)
• Would you like another suggestion?
• What are the benefits and costs of each?

“If you don’t understand the system, you’re at its mercy”

• What is happening now?
• Who is involved (directly and indirectly)?
• When things are going badly on this issue, what happens to you?
• What happens to others directly involved?
• What is the effect on others?
• What have you done about this so far?
• What results did that produce?
• What’s missing in the situation?
• What do you have that you are not using?
• What’s holding you back? What keeps things the way they are?
• What is really going on? (intuition)

“If you don’t know what you want, you certainly won’t get it”

• How do you want things to change?
• How will you benefit?
• What does success look like?
• How much personal control or influence do you have over your goal?
• What would be a milestone along the way?
• What is a short-term goal along the way?
• When do you want to achieve it by?
• Is that positive, challenging, attainable?
• How will you measure it? When you’ve got there, what will you see, hear, feel, do differently?