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Ursula Rani Sarma is an Irish playwright and screenwriter. She grew up in County Clare in the South of Ireland, with her mother who is of Irish decent, and her father who is from Indian descent. Ursula began writing and directing plays whilst a student at University College Cork. So it is possible that in Ursula's mind these teens were from Ireland; in my head my image of Sarah is that she is from where I live, which is near Essex. She reminds me of a lot of the girls I grew up around, so when I go to take on this character I originally thought of stereotypes, and thought about who I knew personally; but now I've progressed with my idea of Sarah in my own head, and she has almost become a part of my subconscious. I've come to realise that Sarah can be from anywhere, it's how I play with her lines and pursue my actions which define her.

My Monologue:

The monologue I chose is called 'The Spider-Men', by Ursula Rani Sarma. The monologue follows a girl named Sarah, who I would describe as an outgoing, dramatic, rebellious teen who is the sister of the main protagonist, David. The play itself follows a small group of older teenagers who live in a small town; two of said teenagers Michael and David venture into the woods at night to escape the claustrophobic atmosphere at home. Sarah's speech comes from the early part of the play and is spoken directly to the audience.

The play was written by Gary Owens, a Welsh playwright born in 1972, his first play was in 2001 and most recent work is 2023, in which he worked on Romeo and Juliet. He is very experienced and has a great interest in devising and writing theatre productions. He attended Cambridge university and was previously a script writer at BBC. His plays have been performed around the UK, Canada, and Germany. When asked which plays influenced him the most, Gary responded with: "The playwrights I love most are Caryl Churchill and Martin Crimp but I can't detect any influence. There's nothing I'm less interested in as a writer than formal experimentation. Actually: David Eldridge. He was my mentor at the National Theatre Studio in 2002 and took me for pints and with the beautiful Under the Blue Sky taught me that ordinary people could write plays about ordinary people and get them on at the Royal Court. Eventually."From my own perspective I can see that Gary has grown up surrounded by a love for sci-if, horror and comedy. He seems to be quite humorous from the interviews I’ve read, and in the small snippet of the script I have received, he talks about “28 days later,” “Shaun of the dead,” and other apocalyptic films; he also has worked on things for BBCs: Doctor Who, another sci-fi series. These are things that I relate to, I also grew up under that influence and they are things that I would one day like to highlight in my work like Owen’s has.

This paragraph is ready to hold stunning creativity, experiences and stories.

The play ,'Love Steals Us From Loneliness' follows a young Welsh woman named Catrin, who is in a long-term relationship with a man named Lee; Lee is best friends with Scott. Scott is a sensitive young man who is deeply in love with Catrin, Lee’s girlfriend. Lee is described as a “boorish but attractively vulnerable jackass,” two men with personalities that contradict each other. The play is divided into a before and after, and in the before part of the play, we see the love triangle between Lee, Cat, and Scott. It takes place in a cemetery, where Cat and Scott have escaped from a party in a club. Scott and Cat do some flirting and joking around, but as an audience we can see some tension between them; this is through their mannerisms and attitudes towards each other. They appear to be very comfortable together, given the circumstances of Catrin urinating in front of him. The second half of the play focuses on the grief, as eventually Scott confesses his feeling towards Catrin, and Catrin goes back to Lee and breaks up with him. Lee then leaves the bar in a drunken state, crashes and passes away. Catrin and Lee now have to deal with the guilt and grief that their relationship has created.

Duolouge:

Whilst performing I was really trying to incorperate realism into my work. Iroically the situation feels like one I would end up getting myself into, which I think helped my depiction of the scene. But one thing that was challenging at first but soon became fun to play around with was my setting; I found it difficult to visualise the graveyard as I dont find myself to be in one very often. But it helped to think about films and tv where you often see a graveyard. I thought back to when i was little and would watch scary films or television series, and brought this idea into my piece. Similarly, I wanted to make me squatting behind the tombstone look as real as possible. I think everyone has been in a situation where they have had to urinate in public, in rather uncomfortable conditions; so I just thought back to that horrible feeling. With this came the squatting, the looking around, as I am in a cold graveyard in the dark, whilst making it look like im actually urinating. This got easier as I rehearsed it, and it was very rewarding to feel and hear the difference in feedback regarding my placement on stage. Another way I tried to make the duologue feel real and not just two people reading lines off of a page, was by making those little 'pauses' feel more life like. One example of this was when I explained about me 'stropping off'. There was a really unnatural moment between my two small paragraphs, especially as it seems like I was rambling; so for there to be a pause of silence whilst standing still on stage felt very, scripted. To break this silence I incoperated the drop iof the suitcase, which led to me wailing it around during my 'strop off speech', which meant I could break the pause by forcibly throwing back the briefcase.

When rehearsing, my partner and I started by figuring out our intentions throughout the production. This was somewhat challenging as I believed the piece had a similar feeling flowing throughout the whole of it; but it was clear that my character, Cat, slowly became closer to Scott as the piece progressed. Scott's intentions stayed the same; he wishes to get closer to Cat, but is too frightened to make it clear. When researching Scott, it was clear he is quite timid, antisocial, and sees himself in Lee's shadow. Catrin however, is sharp , confident and counters Scott's personality complelety. At the start of the extract, Catrin is feeling annoyed, and I personally think that if it was anyone that had chased her other than Scott, her intention would be that she wants said person to leave; but as it is Scott that has followed, Cat has to act as if she's annoyed, when in reality she is relieved that it is Scott. Scott and Catrin's relationship is very playful, and I think my partner and I successfully portrayed this whilst performing.

My experience with the duologue (rehearsal):

My Monologue (rehearsal):

Some problems I really struggle with specifically to do with monolouges, is pronounciating my words and trying not to look still. Personally when i watch monolouges and the actor is still and isn't pronunciating their words properly, I lose focus and it feels like i'm watching a monolouge for years; and I know that i've been like that before. So my ultimate aim is to create and act out an engaging, bold and physical performance. I think a problem i've always had when picking a monologue is that I pick a sad, slow or an old fashioned one. I completely wanted to go agaisnt this, so I picked a modern, loud and comedic one. But one thing I found whilst experimenting with the script is that you could take a sad, quiet route; scripts are very versatile, and when doing this monologue I truly realised this. I actually hated this monolouge when first rehearsing it, and wanted to switch; but I played around with it, and made it more personal to me. Once I had marked out where my pauses would be on my script, I thought about my actions. My actions could not be to extreme to the point where it would take away from my speech, but I knew that i needed something as my character strikes me as someone who would be quite fidgety. I thought about what I do know about the setting. It had been confirmed that I was in my bedroom. In my head Sarah, my character, is a 'girly-girl'. The stereotype that girls' are obsessed with make-up, hair, fashion, so Blanka advised me to maybe play with my hair or do my makeup. In my head Sarah is siting at her dressing table in her bedroom, slightly facing the audience. Truthfully, doing the actions made me very nervous when performing as I was scared that if i was too focused on my actions, I would not commit to my lines as much. One way I tried to help myself, was by noting down on my monolouge when these actions would change, and try to create a routine just like I would in real life. Blanka also advised that I bring in the props physically. Saying all this, my rehearsals will prove different to my final exam piece.

--problem I have faced in the past specifically regarding monologues. Monologues for me personally are one of my hardest challenges, i'm not entirely sure why but perhaps it's due to it only being me on the stage; and with monologues you are generally still, so I think it's to do with my own personal insecurites and anxiety, but with this particular monologue, I actually really enjoyed myself, which is why I perform. This monologue was what I feared the most on the exam day, as the movement and duologue felt more comforting to me as they were with other people. But I personally believe that my monologue was my best piece that day. I think I delivered my lines to a good standard, I was really trying not to rush myself as that's a popular issue I see in a lot of monologues. I do not know if I was loud enough, but in my head I felt quite loud, another main aim of mine was to really project my voice, and lead with my head when playing Sarah, and then when switching to the mum momentarily, I would lead with my chest, as she is slightly more timid in comparison to Sarah. I really wanted to show the difference in characters, as when rehearsing I thought about making Sarah's mum more like Sarah, so it was like a fight, but then thought it would be more effective if there was a contrast.

I felt alot of different feelings during my monolouge, the before during and after. My warm-up was rudely interupted by the harrowing news of me being the first monolouge of the day, and the second performance overrall. As soon as the first wave of horrific realisation was over, I was ready to face it and gave myself the pity talk in my head. To be quite honest, I was relieved after a while that I was first. I had originally wanted to do my monologue followed by my duologue anyway, and I think if I had have to of sat waiting for a long time the fear wouldve just built up and swallowed me whole. But I cant explain the fear, it's not a fear of being on stage infront of everyone because I know these people. I also dont think it was a fear of messing up, I think it was just the pure fear of an 'exam' which had me nervous. But actually, by the end of the day, the 'exam' day was actually a very wholesome and fun experience, as I got to witness how different people performed and how they interpret scripts in a personal way to them. But when I was up on the stage I actually experienced the complete opposite range of emotions than I originally expected; as soon as I uttered my first line, I actually felt very confident and it made me remember how much I love to perfom. My lines flowed and to my own reconciliation I did not stutter, which is a -

Final Evaluation of Monologue:

One thing I didnt incoperate in the exam that I had rehearsed with was my props and movement. I wrote about before how I struggled with focusing on making the gestures effective and the lines, and in the final exam I prioritised my lines over gestures as in the moment I had a tiny panic and decided I wasn't ready enough to use the props properly. I had also forgotten a lip gloss which I apply when there are little awkward pauses , and it would soon develop into a little addiction throughout the monologue, I had rehearsed that so I was a little thrown off in the exam but I don't think anyone noticed. It's more of a thing for me as I know next tine that these props should be ready, it just slipped my mind on the day. None the less, it meant that I automatically went into line mode, so I could really focus on the pronounciation. As one thing that pains me to see is great acting supported with quiet words. I'm also glad that I got some laughs, it had made me anxious before in some cases, but in the exam it kind of felt like I had no fear. Everytime I have to stand on stage my hands shake, wether it's performing or doing a speech, my hands uncontrollably shake. At first I thought it was due to anxiety, but it happens when I perform at my local drama centre, infront of people i've known for a long time, who have seen me perform before numerous times, so I think it's just a thing I have. One of my fears is that the shaking would be very noticable, but when I started performing, I didn't feel like I was shaking. Overrall, I am happy with the result of my monologue, I know what I can do from my own perspective on how to improve in the future, and when I recieve feedback from my tutors that will also help. I also think I couldve ended my monologue on a stronger note, I sort of fade away at the end in a desperate attempt to get my introverted slef off of stage, but it made the piece look unfinished and sloppy, in my opinion.

Monologue evaluation continued:

Duologue Exam Evaluation:

I felt very confident with my duologue, as I felt it was well rehearsed, I had a good relationship with my partner, and I just enjoyed the script as a whole. I was very sceptical about this duolouge at first, but I soon learnt to love it. It was bittersweet performing it, but it was worth it. The other classes' duolouge went first out of everyones, so seeing how they did it for the final time did help me when on stage; they obviously took a different approach to the script to us, but when it came to things like stage positioning, ensuring props were ready and seeing how their conversation flowed on stage before we went on did help. I found that from where I was sitting in the audience, at the back of the stage, I sometimes lost what the other Catrin and Scott were saying, so one way their performance helped enhance mine was that I was mindful of my voice when restricted behind the 'tombstone'. I am yet to see if I effectively delivered this, but I hope it did. Additionally, whilst warming up before the exam, the other two actors that were sharing our duologue shared some tips with us that they had; my partner and I were unaware of a briefcase that came with Scott's character, so we soon incorperated this in right before the exam began. They also suggested that Scott should play with some of the test tubes in the briefcase, feeding into his awkwardness, and I think watching back the piece it was a really nice touch. I also added the motif of Scott dropping his briefcase: it's subtle but highlights the clumsiness of his character and also creates oppurtunities for him standing there (which is what he does throughtout the enirety of the duologue) to look less blocky and awkward as he has things to play around with. We thought of these things in the warmup period before the exam, so they were less rehearsed but very important to the piece.

Duologue Exam Evaluation:

When on stage, I wasn't very nervous. Being towards the end of the list was not as bad as I thought, but I know that if it was my monologue that late into the list it would've been extremely nerve-racking. Something surrounding the duologue was just more comforting, and it wasn't until the moment directly before going on stage that I got anxious. But I think when i'm engaged in the piece suddenly my stage fright goes away, and it's more of a, "Don't mess up your lines!", sort of mindset. Suddenly it's not the fear of the audience it's a fear of my que. All in all i thoroughly enjoyed my duologue, I think places to improve lay in making it seem alot less scripted, as when I watched it back , it seems quite cold and awkward, despite it feeling warm and playful in real life. This might just be my persepective, but it felt kind of inhumane from my behalf, perhaps that's due to the fact I can't really see my facial expressions on camera, but nonetheless that's an area to improve in. Also my stage positioning was a bit dodgy, ironic as i'm constantly making sure people are facing the audience, but I feel at times there were slots where you could only see the side of me, and it took away from the sharpness of my character. With these points in mind, hopefully I can improve my work in the future. Overrall, I feel positive about my duologue, and my partner was spectacular, and it was very much a team effort in order to make myself feel comftable.

Movement Piece Exam Summary:

Unlike some others in the class, my group went with our very first idea for our exam piece and stuck with it. It was very challenging in my opinion, there were many times where we really struggled as a team, but we never backed down and communicated in order to make it work. The day before the exam, we changed alot of the movement. With a song as iconic as Michael Jackson's Thriller, where the vast majority know each beat of the song, it was tricky to line uo the beats with our uncooirdinated selves. But we had a strong and hopefully clear narrative, somewhat physical and interactive dance moves, and it was in time most of the time. It was defiantly very fun to perform, and again quite bittersweet. Dance had become my favourite lesson of the week, ironically, as many know my trauma with dance, and I loved the devising part. The exam itself I felt could've gone better, as we were very out of time at the start, something we had all really knuckled down with at the start, me going as far as writing out each individual steps and seconds on paper, but all in all, it still had the same outcome. I was not very nervous as this was probably my most rehearsed piece, but being the first movement piece up there was still a tiny bit nerve-racking. I really enjoyed watching other's creations, it was not only heart-warming but impressive. I think we could've improved by making it a bit more in time, and also coordinated, so that's feedback for the future. Overrall, I enjoyed the exam and did the best I could.

ZOONATION DANCE PRESENTATION:

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