Effectively Processing Feedback Simulation
Hello! I'm Mona, the department manager.
Hello! I'm Kaelum, one of Mona's direct reports.
start
What are we going to learn?
This session allows the user to learn how to effectively process constructive feedback to foster growth.
Keys:
Try to think less about whether or not feedback is "right or wrong." Instead, think of what (if anything) you could do differently to change the perception.
When hurt or angry, it's easy to dismiss information and villainize the person who provided it. Change your mindset and try to see the message as an opportunity (and, gift).
It may feel counterintuitive when you're upset, but it's the mature choice. Saying thank you doesn't mean you agree or plan to change anything; it simply acknowledges that someone had the courage and took the time to give you feedback.
Practice attentive listening and resist the urge to react defensively. Reacting defensively can close your mind to listening and the possibility for positive change.
Take time to think through the information and its potential value. Avoid reacting emotionally right away.
Remember perceptions are important
Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
Manage the defensive reflex
Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
Say "Thank You"
continue
Context
We are in a medical center. Mona has invited Kaelem to her office to discuss some concerns that were recently brought to her attention by several team members.
continue
"Kaelum, I’ve noticed that during our last few department huddles, you've been appearing a bit disengaged or distracted. It’s starting to affect the team's energy and morale during these important updates."
Kaelum feels a spike of defensiveness. Kaelum was actually checking the calendar on his phone to be prepared for the day.
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
"I wasn't being disengaged; I was actually doing my job and looking up information so I could be ready for work."
(Taking a breath) "I hear what you’re saying, Mona. I’d like to understand more about how my behavior is affecting the team. Can you give me an example of when it was most noticeable?"
"Well, everyone else is on their phones too, so I don't see why I'm being singled out."
Mona explains, "Even if you are looking up work data, when the rest of the team sees you looking down while they are sharing updates, they perceive it as a lack of interest in their work."
Kaelum's inner voice says: But I AM interested! They are wrong to think I'm not!
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
"If they perceive it that way, that's their problem. I know I'm doing my work."
"I’ll just tell everyone at the next meeting that I'm working so they stop judging me."
"I understand. Even though my intent was to be productive, I see how the perception of my actions is causing a disconnect. In the future, I’ll wait until after the huddle to check those updates."
Later that afternoon, Kaelum is talking to a coworker. The temptation to vent about Mona "micromanaging" and "being out to get the staff" is high.
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
"Mona is just doing her job to keep the team cohesive. The feedback was about my behavior in a meeting, not an attack on my character or my hard work. I can see the value in that."
"Mona is just looking for things to complain about. It feels like a power trip."
"I’m pretty annoyed. Mona clearly doesn't understand how busy my morning is."
The workday ends. Kaelum is driving home and reflecting on the conversation. Initially, the feedback felt small and nitpicky, but Kaelum starts to look at the bigger picture of career growth.
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
Decide that the feedback was too minor to worry about and forget the conversation ever happened.
Reflect on the feedback and realize that showing engagement is a key leadership skill. "If I want to move into a lead role one day, I need to master the art of being present."
Spend the evening worrying that Mona is going to fire him over a cell phone.
The next morning, Kaelum sees Mona in the hallway before the daily huddle begins.
"Good morning, Kaelum."
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
Avoid eye contact and head straight to the huddle.
"I'm going to do what you asked, but I still think it was a bit much."
"Hey Mona, thanks again for the feedback yesterday. I appreciate you looking out for the team dynamic and being willing to share constructive feedback with me."
Learnings
In this scenario, we have learned to effectively process constructive feedback to foster growth rather than resentment.
Keys learned and skills developed:
Say "Thank You"
Remember perceptions are important
Manage the defensive reflex
Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
continue
Self-Assessment
00:30
Self-Assessment
00:30
Self-Assessment
00:30
Congratulations!
Now you know how to navigate this situation and make the most of the feedback you receive to grow personally and professionally.
Hello! I'm Mona,the supervisor with a cohesive and effective team.
Hello! I'm Kaelum, the staff member with productive work relationships.
This doesn't seem like the best response...
In professional communication, the word "but" often erases everything that came before it. By adding "I still think it was a bit much," Kaelum effectively withdraws any sense of gratitude or growth. This response is a subtle attempt to get the "last word." It signals to Mona that Kaelum is complying only because he has to, not because he sees the value in the feedback.
- Say "Thank You"
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This is a classic "whataboutism." Instead of processing the feedback, Kaelum is deflecting responsibility by pointing at others. This response implies that the supervisor is being unfair or "singling out" Kaelum, which creates a "victim vs. villain" narrative. This is the opposite of building a collaborative relationship.
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
- Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response ignores the reality that in a team-based organization, your colleagues' "problems" quickly become your problems. If the team feels you are uninterested, they may stop sharing vital information with you.
- Remember perceptions are important
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response focuses on "correcting" everyone else's opinion rather than changing the behavior causing the friction. It assumes the team is "wrong" and Kaelum is "right." Using words like "judging me" suggests that Kaelum sees his coworkers as adversaries rather than teammates. This creates a defensive, high-tension atmosphere in future meetings.
- Manage the defensive reflex
- Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
Worrying is not the same as processing. It uses emotional energy without creating a plan for improvement. This response fails to "think through the information" logically. Mona's feedback was about team morale and engagement, not a termination notice.
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
- Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response assigns a malicious motive to Mona. By labeling it a "power trip," Kaelum transforms a professional observation into a personal conflict. If Kaelum convinces himself that Mona is "just complaining," he successfully ignores the feedback. This prevents Kaelum from ever addressing the actual behavior that prompted the conversation.
- Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response assumes that being "busy" excuses unprofessional behavior. It implies that Mona is incompetent or out of touch because she prioritized team engagement over Kaelum's individual task list.
- Manage the defensive reflex
- Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
read again
Great response!
Closing the loop with a sincere "Thank You" validates the supervisor's effort to provide coaching and cements Kaelum's reputation as a coachable, professional employee.
- Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
- Say "Thank You"
continue
This doesn't seem like the best response...
While Kaelum's intention was productive, this response immediately interrupts the feedback loop with a "but." It prioritizes being "right" over understanding the supervisor's concern. By starting with "I wasn't," Kaelum creates a confrontational atmosphere. This can be interpreted as a lack of coachability.
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
- Manage the defensive reflex
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response fails to find any potential value in the information. In a professional setting, almost all feedback—even if delivered poorly—contains a "grain of truth" that can be used for growth. This response views feedback as a "one-off" event rather than a data point in a career-long trend.
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
read again
Great response!
By refusing to villainize the supervisor, Kaelum maintains a professional mindset and helps prevent a toxic "us vs. them" culture from developing.
- Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
continue
Great response!
This moves the focus away from a "right vs. wrong" debate. Kaelum recognizes that perception is reality in a team setting and identifies a specific change to fix it.
- Manage the defensive reflex
- Remember perceptions are important
continue
This doesn't seem like the best response...
A key part of the "Thank You" tip is acknowledging the effort it took for the supervisor to provide coaching. Avoidance treats the feedback as a negative event to be hidden from, rather than a professional interaction to be completed.
- Manage the defensive reflex
- Say "Thank You"
read again
Great response!
Kaelum is taking time to think through the value of the feedback. Instead of dismissing it, Kaelum finds a way to use the information for long-term professional development.
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
- Manage the defensive reflex
continue
Great response!
This response prioritizes non-defensive attentive listening. By asking for more information rather than explaining away the behavior, Kaelum keeps the lines of communication open.
- Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
- Manage the defensive reflex
continue
Effectively Processing Feedback Simulation
Rebekah Quicke
Created on January 27, 2026
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Transcript
Effectively Processing Feedback Simulation
Hello! I'm Mona, the department manager.
Hello! I'm Kaelum, one of Mona's direct reports.
start
What are we going to learn?
This session allows the user to learn how to effectively process constructive feedback to foster growth.
Keys:
Try to think less about whether or not feedback is "right or wrong." Instead, think of what (if anything) you could do differently to change the perception.
When hurt or angry, it's easy to dismiss information and villainize the person who provided it. Change your mindset and try to see the message as an opportunity (and, gift).
It may feel counterintuitive when you're upset, but it's the mature choice. Saying thank you doesn't mean you agree or plan to change anything; it simply acknowledges that someone had the courage and took the time to give you feedback.
Practice attentive listening and resist the urge to react defensively. Reacting defensively can close your mind to listening and the possibility for positive change.
Take time to think through the information and its potential value. Avoid reacting emotionally right away.
Remember perceptions are important
Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
Manage the defensive reflex
Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
Say "Thank You"
continue
Context
We are in a medical center. Mona has invited Kaelem to her office to discuss some concerns that were recently brought to her attention by several team members.
continue
"Kaelum, I’ve noticed that during our last few department huddles, you've been appearing a bit disengaged or distracted. It’s starting to affect the team's energy and morale during these important updates."
Kaelum feels a spike of defensiveness. Kaelum was actually checking the calendar on his phone to be prepared for the day.
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
"I wasn't being disengaged; I was actually doing my job and looking up information so I could be ready for work."
(Taking a breath) "I hear what you’re saying, Mona. I’d like to understand more about how my behavior is affecting the team. Can you give me an example of when it was most noticeable?"
"Well, everyone else is on their phones too, so I don't see why I'm being singled out."
Mona explains, "Even if you are looking up work data, when the rest of the team sees you looking down while they are sharing updates, they perceive it as a lack of interest in their work."
Kaelum's inner voice says: But I AM interested! They are wrong to think I'm not!
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
"If they perceive it that way, that's their problem. I know I'm doing my work."
"I’ll just tell everyone at the next meeting that I'm working so they stop judging me."
"I understand. Even though my intent was to be productive, I see how the perception of my actions is causing a disconnect. In the future, I’ll wait until after the huddle to check those updates."
Later that afternoon, Kaelum is talking to a coworker. The temptation to vent about Mona "micromanaging" and "being out to get the staff" is high.
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
"Mona is just doing her job to keep the team cohesive. The feedback was about my behavior in a meeting, not an attack on my character or my hard work. I can see the value in that."
"Mona is just looking for things to complain about. It feels like a power trip."
"I’m pretty annoyed. Mona clearly doesn't understand how busy my morning is."
The workday ends. Kaelum is driving home and reflecting on the conversation. Initially, the feedback felt small and nitpicky, but Kaelum starts to look at the bigger picture of career growth.
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
Decide that the feedback was too minor to worry about and forget the conversation ever happened.
Reflect on the feedback and realize that showing engagement is a key leadership skill. "If I want to move into a lead role one day, I need to master the art of being present."
Spend the evening worrying that Mona is going to fire him over a cell phone.
The next morning, Kaelum sees Mona in the hallway before the daily huddle begins.
"Good morning, Kaelum."
continue
How should Kaelum best respond?
Avoid eye contact and head straight to the huddle.
"I'm going to do what you asked, but I still think it was a bit much."
"Hey Mona, thanks again for the feedback yesterday. I appreciate you looking out for the team dynamic and being willing to share constructive feedback with me."
Learnings
In this scenario, we have learned to effectively process constructive feedback to foster growth rather than resentment.
Keys learned and skills developed:
Say "Thank You"
Remember perceptions are important
Manage the defensive reflex
Resist accepting or dismissing the feedback too quickly
Avoid "villainizing" those providing feedback
continue
Self-Assessment
00:30
Self-Assessment
00:30
Self-Assessment
00:30
Congratulations!
Now you know how to navigate this situation and make the most of the feedback you receive to grow personally and professionally.
Hello! I'm Mona,the supervisor with a cohesive and effective team.
Hello! I'm Kaelum, the staff member with productive work relationships.
This doesn't seem like the best response...
In professional communication, the word "but" often erases everything that came before it. By adding "I still think it was a bit much," Kaelum effectively withdraws any sense of gratitude or growth. This response is a subtle attempt to get the "last word." It signals to Mona that Kaelum is complying only because he has to, not because he sees the value in the feedback.
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This is a classic "whataboutism." Instead of processing the feedback, Kaelum is deflecting responsibility by pointing at others. This response implies that the supervisor is being unfair or "singling out" Kaelum, which creates a "victim vs. villain" narrative. This is the opposite of building a collaborative relationship.
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response ignores the reality that in a team-based organization, your colleagues' "problems" quickly become your problems. If the team feels you are uninterested, they may stop sharing vital information with you.
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response focuses on "correcting" everyone else's opinion rather than changing the behavior causing the friction. It assumes the team is "wrong" and Kaelum is "right." Using words like "judging me" suggests that Kaelum sees his coworkers as adversaries rather than teammates. This creates a defensive, high-tension atmosphere in future meetings.
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
Worrying is not the same as processing. It uses emotional energy without creating a plan for improvement. This response fails to "think through the information" logically. Mona's feedback was about team morale and engagement, not a termination notice.
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response assigns a malicious motive to Mona. By labeling it a "power trip," Kaelum transforms a professional observation into a personal conflict. If Kaelum convinces himself that Mona is "just complaining," he successfully ignores the feedback. This prevents Kaelum from ever addressing the actual behavior that prompted the conversation.
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response assumes that being "busy" excuses unprofessional behavior. It implies that Mona is incompetent or out of touch because she prioritized team engagement over Kaelum's individual task list.
read again
Great response!
Closing the loop with a sincere "Thank You" validates the supervisor's effort to provide coaching and cements Kaelum's reputation as a coachable, professional employee.
continue
This doesn't seem like the best response...
While Kaelum's intention was productive, this response immediately interrupts the feedback loop with a "but." It prioritizes being "right" over understanding the supervisor's concern. By starting with "I wasn't," Kaelum creates a confrontational atmosphere. This can be interpreted as a lack of coachability.
read again
This doesn't seem like the best response...
This response fails to find any potential value in the information. In a professional setting, almost all feedback—even if delivered poorly—contains a "grain of truth" that can be used for growth. This response views feedback as a "one-off" event rather than a data point in a career-long trend.
read again
Great response!
By refusing to villainize the supervisor, Kaelum maintains a professional mindset and helps prevent a toxic "us vs. them" culture from developing.
continue
Great response!
This moves the focus away from a "right vs. wrong" debate. Kaelum recognizes that perception is reality in a team setting and identifies a specific change to fix it.
continue
This doesn't seem like the best response...
A key part of the "Thank You" tip is acknowledging the effort it took for the supervisor to provide coaching. Avoidance treats the feedback as a negative event to be hidden from, rather than a professional interaction to be completed.
read again
Great response!
Kaelum is taking time to think through the value of the feedback. Instead of dismissing it, Kaelum finds a way to use the information for long-term professional development.
continue
Great response!
This response prioritizes non-defensive attentive listening. By asking for more information rather than explaining away the behavior, Kaelum keeps the lines of communication open.
continue