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Obstacles to self-awareness

Muriel Akahi

Created on November 24, 2025

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Obstacles to self-awareness

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A quick note

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Denial

Refusing to see what feels uncomfortable

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Explanation

Denial is a defence mechanism described by psychologists: it appears when certain inner realities feel too uncomfortable to admit. Denial protects your self-esteem in the short term, but it stops you from growing in the long term.

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Examples

“I’m not stressed, I’m just really busy.”

“I’m not jealous, just disappointed.”

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These rationalisations hide a real emotion.Psychology explains thatpersonal growth begins when you’re able to notice what you truly feel — without blaming yourself for it.

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Self-Perception Bias

Seeing yourself the way you want to be seen

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Explanation

According to psychological studies, our brain tries to keep a positive image of ourselves — even when it’s not totally realistic. This is called a self-perception bias: we tend to overestimate our qualities or minimise our mistakes. Our ego prefers being right over learning.

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Examples

“Other people are exaggerating — I’m not like that.”

“I don’t need to improve — I’m already doing my best.”

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This bias doesn’t come from conscious pride, but from a need for inner coherence.Admitting a weakness creates a mental tension called cognitive dissonance, and our brain tries to avoid it.

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Fear of Other People’s Opinions

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Explanation

Psychologists have theorised that our self-image is partly shaped by what we think others see in us — this is called the looking-glass self. For young people, this influence is often even stronger: other people’s opinions can sometimes become the only mirror they use to define who they are. When your self-esteem depends on others, you can end up losing yourself while trying to please everyone.

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Examples

Constantly looking for validation or “likes.”

Changing your personality depending on the group.

Staying quiet just to avoid displeasing others.

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The fear of being judged often makes you hide certain emotions or truths about yourself.But real inner freedom begins when you can be authentic — even when you’re afraid of not being understood.

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Social Comparison and Idealisation

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Explanation

According to psychological research, we often evaluate our worth by comparing ourselves to others. This comparison can be motivating — but it becomes destructive when it’s constant or unrealistic. In the age of social media, these comparisons multiply: we compare ourselves to filtered images and idealised life stories. When you compare yourself to others, you forget that your story doesn’t have the same chapters.

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Instead of comparing yourself to others, ask yourself:

  • “What can I learn from this person?”
  • “What small step could bring me closer to my own ideal?”

  • Chronic dissatisfaction
  • Lower self-esteem
  • Losing gratitude for what you already have

+In practice

+Consequences

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Repressed Emotions

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Explanation

Some emotions (like anger, fear, or shame) get pushed down because they feel uncomfortable or “wrong.” Instead of noticing them, the mind tucks them away without us realising it. But repressed emotions don’t disappear. They show up in other ways — like irritability, anxiety, tension, or avoidance — because the body still tries to express what the mind is hiding.

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Recognising an emotion doesn’t mean letting it take over — it means giving it the right to exist so you can understand it better.

It’s important to remember this: what you refuse to feel will show up in another way.

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Examples

You say “I’m not sad,” but you avoid everyone. → Message: your sadness is trying to find space.

You say “I don’t care,” but your body is tense. → Message: your anger hasn’t been heard.

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Rigid thinking patterns

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Explanation

Mental schemas are repetitive ways of interpreting reality. Some schemas limit your self-awareness: they trap you in the “stories” you keep telling yourself about who you are.

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Example 1

Example

Limiting schema

Associated belief

Limiting schema
Associated belief
Example
Constant stress, fear of failure.
“I have to be perfect.”
My worth depends on my performance.

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Example 2

Example

Limiting schema

Associated belief

Limiting schema
Associated belief
Example
Self-sabotage
“I’m not worth much.”
Comparison defines my value.

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Example 3

Example

Limiting schema

Associated belief

Limiting schema
Associated belief
Example
Resignation (feeling stuck, giving up)
“I can’t change.”
My past defines me.

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Studies suggest that a rigid mindset stops you from learning about yourself. Developing a growth mindset (“I can change and grow”) opens the way to a clearer and kinder sense of self.

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In Summary

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Activities to Check Understanding

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En résumé...

Self-awareness can be blocked by several filters: denial, self-perception biases, fear of social judgment, comparison habits, repressed emotions, and rigid thinking patterns. Each of these gets in the way of clarity or growth — but you can move past them by welcoming feedback, observing yourself with kindness, and keeping a growth mindset.