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Emotions and Thoughts

Muriel Akahi

Created on November 24, 2025

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Transcript

Emotions and Thoughts

Learning to observe yourself without self-criticism

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A quick note

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Definition

Emotions are natural reactions of the body and mind in response to a situation. They are neither good nor bad: they provide information about your needs, values, and boundaries.

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According to some psychologists, the basic emotions are: joy, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise (though the last one is debated among modern psychologists). An emotion is like a warning light: it signals something to you, but it doesn’t do the driving for you. Each emotion speaks to you. Ask yourself: “What is this emotion trying to tell me?”

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Thoughts

The lenses through which you see the world

Your thoughts filter everything you experience. According to psychologists, they shape your emotional reaction far more than the events themselves. It’s not what happens to you that hurts — it’s the story you tell yourself about it.

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An Example

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Same situation, two different thoughts → two different emotions.This is why becoming aware of your thoughts is a key to emotional well-being.

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Automatic thoughts and internal schemas

Automatic thoughts are those mental reactions that appear spontaneously in your mind: they are quick, repetitive, and often unconscious. Psychology suggests that these thoughts are based on internal schemas (deep beliefs about yourself, others, or life).

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Schema type: About yourself

“I must be perfect to be loved.”

Anxiety, self-criticism

+Typical effect

+Example of belief

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Schema type: About others

Mistrust, isolation

“People can’t be trusted.”

+Typical effect

+Example of belief

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Schema type: About life

“Nothing ever works out.”

Discouragement

+Typical effect

+Example of belief

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In practice

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Inner Observation

The silent witness

Studies in psychology describe the capacity for self-observation as a tool for inner stability. It is the ability to look at your thoughts and emotions without identifying with them. Observing without judging creates a space between “me” and “what I feel.”

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This mental distance allows you to:

Choose your response instead of being driven by your reaction.
Understand your emotions before acting.
Reduce impulsive reactions.

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In practice

When an emotion rises:

Act afterwards, not during.

Take a deep breath.

Name it (“I feel anger”).

Observe what it’s telling you (“What need is being touched?”).

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Turning reaction into reflection

Turning reaction into reflection is what we call conscious emotional regulation: it’s the moment when you choose your response instead of being driven by your reaction. This fundamental idea is beautifully summarised as follows: Between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies your freedom.

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Simple method: STOP

Proceed with a calm, thoughtful response.

Stop for a few seconds.

Take note of your emotion: what are you feeling?

Observe the situation objectively.

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An Example

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In summary

Conscious regulation: choosing your response rather than reacting, to develop emotional mastery.

Emotions: natural reactions that signal a need and help you understand yourself better.

Thoughts: interpretations of reality that shape your inner world.

Non-judgmental observation: seeing what you experience without criticising yourself, to cultivate calm and clarity.

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Activities to check understanding

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Well done!

You have completed this section.

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Event:

Your friend doesn’t reply to your message.

Thought:

“She’s ignoring me.” → Emotion : sadness.

Alternative thought:

“She’s probably busy.” → Emotion : calm.

You receive a criticism:

Without self-awareness → immediate anger.

With self-awareness → pause, breathing, grounded response.

Automatic thoughts are not facts: they are thinking habits.

When you notice an automatic thought, don’t fight it. Simply observe it and ask yourself:

“Is this 100% true?Is there another way to look at this?”