Introduction to Suicide Prevention
Start
Assessment
Before You Begin
To help us assess the impact of this course, please take a moment to complete this brief pre-survey. The link below will take you to a Microsoft Form.
https://forms.office.com/g/yvWuGyAM3B
Introduction
For many people, talking about suicide is not easy.You may be a loss survivor or an attempt survivor. Please keep an eye on yourself and seek help if you need it. If you are feeling activated, please take care of yourself as needed. This interactive training does not replace formal training in suicide prevention. Instead, this training is meant to serve as a low-barrier, accessible entry-level training for the Yamhill County community. If you are interested in formal suicide prevention training, please contact Yamhill County Public Health's Suicide Prevention Coordinator, Kelsey Murray, at murrayk@yamhillcounty.gov.
Index
Objectives
Safe Language
Warning Signs
Tips for Asking the Question
5 Steps to Help
Active Listening
Resources
Roleplay
Objectives
Suicide prevention starts with reaching out, finding the courage to talk about your mental health, and knowing that it’s okay to ask for support. It then continues through all the small moments of everyday life, resisting the urges to give in to thoughts of hopelessness. It requires a committed effort to get better, and though there may still be difficult times, there is always hope.
- Know the warning signs of suicidal ideation - Have the confidence to ask someone about thoughts of suicide - Awareness of local, state, and national resources for suicide prevention and intervention
Safe Language
Using non-judgmental language that destigmatizes suicide is an essential action to prevent suicide.
Committed suicide
Died by suicide
Reveal the safe language
The word “commit” implies that suicide is a crime, reinforcing the idea that suicide is a selfish act and a personal choice.
Using phrases like “died by suicide” helps remove the shame/blame element.
Safe Language
Using non-judgmental language that destigmatizes suicide is an essential action to prevent suicide.
Successful/Completed/Failed Suicide
Fatal suicide attempt, survived a suicide attempt, or non-fatal suicide attempt
Reveal the safe language
“Successful” or “completed” frames suicide as something positive or an achievement. "Failed" frames a positive outcome (surviving an attempt) as a negative.
A suicide attempt is either fatal or not.
Safe Language
Using non-judgmental language that destigmatizes suicide is an essential action to prevent suicide.
Suicide epidemic or rates are "skyrocketing"
Increase in suicide attempts or deaths
Reveal the safe language
Use less emotionally charged terms to avoid conveying a sense of hopelessness.
Using words like “epidemic” or “skyrocket” can create a sense of panic and make suicide seem inevitable or more common than it is.
Clues & Signs of Suicidal Ideation
Direct Verbal Clues
Situational Clues
Behavioral Clues
Indirect Verbal Clues
These are phrases that set off "alarm bells" when you hear them.
Negative life events. These could be major events or smaller events that may add up over time.
Look for behavior that is out of the ordinary for that individual, unique person.
These phrases may seem less worrisome or may be commonly used by a person, friend group, or society.
Talking with and finding help for someone who may be suicidal can be difficult. Click on the below for some do's and don'ts.
Do's
Don'ts
5 Steps to Help1) Ask
Ways to Ask
Remember: Asking someone if they are having thoughts of suicide lowers anxiety, opens communication, and lowers the risk of a suicide attempt. Asking someone about thoughts of suicide will NOT "plant the seed" in their mind and make them attempt suicide.
How you ask the question depends on your comfort level with the person and the topic. Find a way that works for you.
Ways Not to Ask
If the thought is already in their head and they aren't talking about it, it's happening in the dark. Asking them if they are having thoughts of suicide is shining a light on that dark place.
Leave your judgment at the door.
Keep the Door Open if They Won't Talk to You
If they are not comfortable talking to you, ask them if there is someone else whom they would feel comfortable talking to. If you’re not worried for their immediate safety, you can let them know you will always be available to talk and ask if it’s okay for you to check in again.
Consult with a professional or someone you trust—a family member, teacher, professor, therapist, or counselor, for example—about next steps.
5 Steps to Help2) Be There
Can't Physically Be There?
What does this mean?
This could mean being physically present for someone, speaking with them on the phone when you can, or any other way that shows support for the person at risk.
If you are unable to be physically present with someone, talk with them to develop some ideas for others who might be able to help as well (again, only others who are willing, able, and appropriate to be there).
Why?
Being there for someone is life-saving. Increasing someone’s connectedness to others and limiting their isolation (both in the short and long-term) has been shown to be a protective factor against suicide.
5 Steps to Help3) Help Keep Them Safe
After the “Ask” step, and you’ve determined suicide is indeed being talked about, it’s important to find out a few things to establish immediate safety.
Have they already done anything to try to kill themselves before talking with you? Does the person experiencing thoughts of suicide know how they would kill themselves?
- Do they have a specific, detailed plan in place?
- What’s the timing for their plan?
- What sort of access do they have to their planned method?
Why?
Knowing the answers to each of these questions can tell us a great deal about the imminence and severity of the danger the person is in.
5 Steps to Help4) Help Them Connect
Helping someone with thoughts of suicide connect with ongoing supports (like the Yamhill County Crisis Line at 1-844-842-8200) can help them establish a safety net for those moments they find themselves in a crisis. Additional components of a safety net might be connecting them with supports and resources in their communities. Explore some of these possible supports with them:
- Are they currently seeing a mental health professional?
- Have they in the past? Is this an option for them now?
- Are there other mental health resources in the community that can provide effective support?
Safety Plans
Suicidal thoughts can seem like they will last forever – but for many, these thoughts and feelings pass. Having a plan in place that can help guide someone through difficult moments can make a difference and help keep themself safe. Ideally, such a plan is developed jointly with a counselor or therapist. It can also be developed with a crisis counselor who can help them write down actions to take and people to contact to feel safe from suicide.
In general, a safety plan is designed so that they can start at step one and continue through the steps until they feel safe. They should keep their plan in a place where they can easily access it (their wallet or cell phone) when they have thoughts of hurting themself.
One way to start helping them connect is to work with them to develop a safety plan. This can include ways for them to identify if they start to experience significant, severe thoughts of suicide, along with what to do in those crisis moments. A safety plan can also include a list of individuals to contact in case of a crisis.
Creating a Safety Plan
Safety Plan Template
5 Steps to Help5) Follow Up
After your initial contact with a person experiencing thoughts of suicide, and after you’ve connected them with the immediate support systems they need, make sure to follow up with them to see how they’re doing. Leave a message, send a text, or give them a call. The follow-up step is a great time to check in with them to see if there is more you are capable of helping with or if there are things you’ve said you would do and haven’t yet had the chance to get done for the person.
Active Listening
Hearing someone talk is different from actively listening to what that person is saying. Active listening requires concentration and understanding. Improving your listening skills is easy to do with practice and these helpful tips.
Acknowledge the Speaker
Respond Verbally
Summarize What You Hear
Look the Part
Resources
Yamhill County Health & Human Services Crisis Line
YouthLine
1-844-842-820024 Hours
877-968-8491teen2teen to 839863 Teens are available to help daily from 4-10 pm* *Staffed by adults outside of these hours
National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Staffed by Yamhill County: 8 AM - 5 PMDirected to Yamhill County-specific 988 workers after hours
988 (call/text)988- Press 1 (Veterans)988- Press 2 (Spanish)
Resources
Call BlackLine
Trans Lifeline
1 (800) 604-5841
Provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences
The Trevor Project
877-565-8860
1-866-488-7386 24 Hours
Trans Lifeline connects trans people to the community support and resources we need to survive and thrive.
For LGBTQIA+ Youth (24 and under)
Resources
Additional Resources for Youth
Roleplay Instructions
In this section, you’ll find an example scenario that you can use to practice the skills you have learned today. After reading the scenario, you will be asked to identify any warning signs portrayed in the scenario. You will then be taken through a series of potential responses in your conversation with someone experiencing thoughts of suicide.
Roleplay Show what you know!
A Friend in Need
You and your close friend, Avery, meet once a week at your favorite coffee shop. In the last month, you've noticed that they seem overly tired and irritable. Avery's partner of two years broke up with them about three months ago, but they seemed okay with it at the time. You're waiting for Avery at the coffee shop. They walk in 10 minutes late and appear to be still wearing their pajamas, which is very unusual for them.
Go to the next page to decide your first step
When you ask how Avery is doing, they tell you that they aren't doing great because their company has announced a 20% reduction in staff, and they are fairly certain that they will be laid off.
Avery shrugs, "I haven't thought about the future in a while. It's just so depressing. It's like, what's the point?"
Avery says, "Yeah, from time to time, but in the last month or so, those thoughts have been all the time." They seem relieved to have talked about their thoughts and feelings.
Avery nods their head, "Yeah, I have these pills from my doctor that I've thought about taking, but it's never gone further."
Avery agrees to call the Yamhill County Crisis Line with you. The Crisis Counselor speaks with Avery and establishes a safety plan with them. After the call, Avery says they feel better and is going to order a lockable box to store their medicine.
Connecting with someone and showing that you care about their well-being is key to securing their cooperation in seeking help and accepting potentially life-saving care. Next, make sure to follow up with Avery and check in with their mental health from time to time! Remind them that you're always willing to talk if they are struggling.
Good job!
Click here to finish the course.
Assessment
Before Finishing the Course
To help us assess the impact of this course, please take a moment to complete this brief post-survey. The link below will take you to a Microsoft Form.
https://forms.office.com/g/JFXU1jy0yZ
Thank you!!!
If you are interested in formal suicide prevention training, please contact Yamhill County Public Health's Suicide Prevention Coordinator, Kelsey Murray, at murrayk@yamhillcounty.gov.
Course complete, you can now close the window.
Situational Clues
- Being fired or expelled from school
- A recent unwanted move
- Loss of any major relationship
- Death of a spouse, child, or best friend —especially if by suicide
- Diagnosis of a serious or terminal illness
- Loss of freedom/fear of punishment
- Loss of financial security
- Loss of a cherished therapist, counselor, or teacher
- Fear of becoming a burden to others
Loss affects everyone differently, and other factors may compound the impact of a loss.
This can be as simple as a head nod or an “Uh huh.” By acknowledging the speaker, you are letting them know that you are listening to what they have to say and reminding yourself to pay attention to what is being said to you.
Indirect Verbal Clues
- “I’m tired of life, I just can’t go on.”
- “The world would be better off without me.”
- “Who cares if I’m dead anyway?”
- “I don't know if I can do this anymore."
- “I won’t be around much longer.”
- “Pretty soon you won’t have to worry about me.”
Remember: Take all warning signs seriously, even if you think they may be "joking" about suicide.
Don't:
- Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad.
- Don’t lecture on the value of life.
- Don’t dare them to do it.
- Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you.
- Don’t be sworn to secrecy.
- Do not offer glib reassurance.
Direct Verbal Clues
- “I’m gonna go kill myself."
- “I wish I were dead.”
- “I’m going to commit suicide.”
- “I’m going to end it all.”
- “If _________ doesn't happen, I’ll kill myself.”
Remember: Although these phrases may alarm you, it is important to remain calm and non-judgmental.
Being distracted and unfocused gives the speaker the impression that you aren’t paying attention.
When you actively listen to someone, you are letting them know that you care about what they are saying and can indicate that you are concerned for their health and safety.
Behavioral Clues
- A previous suicide attempt
- Acquiring a gun or stockpiling pills
- Co-occurring depression, moodiness, hopelessness
- Giving away belongings or getting affairs in order when there's no other logical explanation for doing this
- Sudden interest or disinterest in religion
- Drug or alcohol abuse, or relapse after a period of recovery
- Unexplained anger, aggression, and irritability
Look for changes in a person's TYPICAL behavior, beliefs, or attitudes.
Ways Not to Ask the Question
Do not ever promise to keep their thoughts of suicide a secret. Asking the question in a judgmental or guiding way will not encourage them to open up to you and seek help. "You’re not thinking of killing yourself, are you?” “You wouldn’t do anything stupid, would you?”
Asking questions or making statements may help clarify what the speaker is saying. It reminds the speaker that you are listening attentively and that you are here to help them and are truly concerned. Be sure to let the speaker finish talking before asking any questions.
Reflecting on what the listener is saying is also a positive verbal active listening technique. Repeating, paraphrasing, or even summarizing what the speaker has said shows that you are putting in effort to better understand them. Use phrases like: “what I’m hearing is…”or “sounds like you’re saying….” These tactics can also allow the speaker to hear what they are saying, which may help them find positive reinforcement.
Don'ts:
- Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad.
- Don’t lecture on the value of life.
- Don’t dare them to do it.
- Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you.
- Don’t be sworn to secrecy.
- Do not offer glib reassurance, such as "It's easy to get help," or "Once you're on medication, you'll feel better."
Listening is very important during this step – find out what and who they believe will be the most effective sources of help.
Do's:
- Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.
- Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.
- Be non-judgmental.
- Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.
- Seek support.
- Offer hope that alternatives are available.
- Take action. Remove means, like weapons or pills.
- Get help from people or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.
Ways to Ask the Question
Asking in this direct, unbiased manner can open the door for effective dialogue about their emotional pain. It can allow everyone involved to see what the next steps are that need to be taken. “Are you thinking about suicide? “Have you had thoughts about suicide?" "Are you thinking about killing yourself?"
Not sure where to start?
Start by expressing your concern and desire to help: “I’m worried because I noticed you [insert things you’ve noticed]. How can I help you through this?” “It seems like you have been up and down lately. I’ve been there myself. Talking about it really helps.”
For instance, the more steps and pieces of a plan that are in place, the higher the severity of risk, and the more likely they are to implement their plan. Or if they have immediate access to a firearm and are very serious about attempting suicide, then extra steps (like calling for emergency help or driving them to an emergency department) might be necessary. The Crisis Line (1-844-842-8200) can also serve as a resource during these moments if you aren’t entirely sure what to do next.
The following are essential elements to explore and include in the development of a safety plan:
- Recognize warning signs: What sorts of thoughts, images, moods, situations, and behaviors indicate to you that a crisis may be developing? Write these down in your own words.
- Use your own coping strategies – without contacting another person: What are some things that you can do on your own to help you not act on thoughts/urges to harm yourself?
- Socialize with others who may offer support as well as distraction from the crisis: Make a list of people (with phone numbers) and social settings that may help take your mind off things.
- Contact family members or friends who may help to resolve a crisis: Make a list of family members (with phone numbers) who are supportive and who you feel you can talk to when under stress.
- Contact mental health professionals or agencies: List names, numbers, and/or locations of clinicians, local emergency rooms, crisis hotlines – carry the Crisis Line number (1-844-842-8200)
- Ensure your environment is safe: Have you thought of ways in which you might harm yourself? Work with your counselor to develop a plan to limit your access to these means.
An essential aspect of this step is to make sure you follow through with the ways in which you say you’ll be able to support the person – do not commit to anything you are not willing or able to accomplish.
This type of contact can continue to increase their feelings of connectedness and share your ongoing support. There is evidence that even a simple form of reaching out, like sending a caring postcard, can potentially reduce their risk for suicide.
Introduction to Suicide Prevention
Kelsey Murray
Created on August 19, 2025
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Transcript
Introduction to Suicide Prevention
Start
Assessment
Before You Begin
To help us assess the impact of this course, please take a moment to complete this brief pre-survey. The link below will take you to a Microsoft Form.
https://forms.office.com/g/yvWuGyAM3B
Introduction
For many people, talking about suicide is not easy.You may be a loss survivor or an attempt survivor. Please keep an eye on yourself and seek help if you need it. If you are feeling activated, please take care of yourself as needed. This interactive training does not replace formal training in suicide prevention. Instead, this training is meant to serve as a low-barrier, accessible entry-level training for the Yamhill County community. If you are interested in formal suicide prevention training, please contact Yamhill County Public Health's Suicide Prevention Coordinator, Kelsey Murray, at murrayk@yamhillcounty.gov.
Index
Objectives
Safe Language
Warning Signs
Tips for Asking the Question
5 Steps to Help
Active Listening
Resources
Roleplay
Objectives
Suicide prevention starts with reaching out, finding the courage to talk about your mental health, and knowing that it’s okay to ask for support. It then continues through all the small moments of everyday life, resisting the urges to give in to thoughts of hopelessness. It requires a committed effort to get better, and though there may still be difficult times, there is always hope.
- Know the warning signs of suicidal ideation - Have the confidence to ask someone about thoughts of suicide - Awareness of local, state, and national resources for suicide prevention and intervention
Safe Language
Using non-judgmental language that destigmatizes suicide is an essential action to prevent suicide.
Committed suicide
Died by suicide
Reveal the safe language
The word “commit” implies that suicide is a crime, reinforcing the idea that suicide is a selfish act and a personal choice.
Using phrases like “died by suicide” helps remove the shame/blame element.
Safe Language
Using non-judgmental language that destigmatizes suicide is an essential action to prevent suicide.
Successful/Completed/Failed Suicide
Fatal suicide attempt, survived a suicide attempt, or non-fatal suicide attempt
Reveal the safe language
“Successful” or “completed” frames suicide as something positive or an achievement. "Failed" frames a positive outcome (surviving an attempt) as a negative.
A suicide attempt is either fatal or not.
Safe Language
Using non-judgmental language that destigmatizes suicide is an essential action to prevent suicide.
Suicide epidemic or rates are "skyrocketing"
Increase in suicide attempts or deaths
Reveal the safe language
Use less emotionally charged terms to avoid conveying a sense of hopelessness.
Using words like “epidemic” or “skyrocket” can create a sense of panic and make suicide seem inevitable or more common than it is.
Clues & Signs of Suicidal Ideation
Direct Verbal Clues
Situational Clues
Behavioral Clues
Indirect Verbal Clues
These are phrases that set off "alarm bells" when you hear them.
Negative life events. These could be major events or smaller events that may add up over time.
Look for behavior that is out of the ordinary for that individual, unique person.
These phrases may seem less worrisome or may be commonly used by a person, friend group, or society.
Talking with and finding help for someone who may be suicidal can be difficult. Click on the below for some do's and don'ts.
Do's
Don'ts
5 Steps to Help1) Ask
Ways to Ask
Remember: Asking someone if they are having thoughts of suicide lowers anxiety, opens communication, and lowers the risk of a suicide attempt. Asking someone about thoughts of suicide will NOT "plant the seed" in their mind and make them attempt suicide.
How you ask the question depends on your comfort level with the person and the topic. Find a way that works for you.
Ways Not to Ask
If the thought is already in their head and they aren't talking about it, it's happening in the dark. Asking them if they are having thoughts of suicide is shining a light on that dark place.
Leave your judgment at the door.
Keep the Door Open if They Won't Talk to You
If they are not comfortable talking to you, ask them if there is someone else whom they would feel comfortable talking to. If you’re not worried for their immediate safety, you can let them know you will always be available to talk and ask if it’s okay for you to check in again. Consult with a professional or someone you trust—a family member, teacher, professor, therapist, or counselor, for example—about next steps.
5 Steps to Help2) Be There
Can't Physically Be There?
What does this mean?
This could mean being physically present for someone, speaking with them on the phone when you can, or any other way that shows support for the person at risk.
If you are unable to be physically present with someone, talk with them to develop some ideas for others who might be able to help as well (again, only others who are willing, able, and appropriate to be there).
Why?
Being there for someone is life-saving. Increasing someone’s connectedness to others and limiting their isolation (both in the short and long-term) has been shown to be a protective factor against suicide.
5 Steps to Help3) Help Keep Them Safe
After the “Ask” step, and you’ve determined suicide is indeed being talked about, it’s important to find out a few things to establish immediate safety.
Have they already done anything to try to kill themselves before talking with you? Does the person experiencing thoughts of suicide know how they would kill themselves?
Why?
Knowing the answers to each of these questions can tell us a great deal about the imminence and severity of the danger the person is in.
5 Steps to Help4) Help Them Connect
Helping someone with thoughts of suicide connect with ongoing supports (like the Yamhill County Crisis Line at 1-844-842-8200) can help them establish a safety net for those moments they find themselves in a crisis. Additional components of a safety net might be connecting them with supports and resources in their communities. Explore some of these possible supports with them:
Safety Plans
Suicidal thoughts can seem like they will last forever – but for many, these thoughts and feelings pass. Having a plan in place that can help guide someone through difficult moments can make a difference and help keep themself safe. Ideally, such a plan is developed jointly with a counselor or therapist. It can also be developed with a crisis counselor who can help them write down actions to take and people to contact to feel safe from suicide. In general, a safety plan is designed so that they can start at step one and continue through the steps until they feel safe. They should keep their plan in a place where they can easily access it (their wallet or cell phone) when they have thoughts of hurting themself.
One way to start helping them connect is to work with them to develop a safety plan. This can include ways for them to identify if they start to experience significant, severe thoughts of suicide, along with what to do in those crisis moments. A safety plan can also include a list of individuals to contact in case of a crisis.
Creating a Safety Plan
Safety Plan Template
5 Steps to Help5) Follow Up
After your initial contact with a person experiencing thoughts of suicide, and after you’ve connected them with the immediate support systems they need, make sure to follow up with them to see how they’re doing. Leave a message, send a text, or give them a call. The follow-up step is a great time to check in with them to see if there is more you are capable of helping with or if there are things you’ve said you would do and haven’t yet had the chance to get done for the person.
Active Listening
Hearing someone talk is different from actively listening to what that person is saying. Active listening requires concentration and understanding. Improving your listening skills is easy to do with practice and these helpful tips.
Acknowledge the Speaker
Respond Verbally
Summarize What You Hear
Look the Part
Resources
Yamhill County Health & Human Services Crisis Line
YouthLine
1-844-842-820024 Hours
877-968-8491teen2teen to 839863 Teens are available to help daily from 4-10 pm* *Staffed by adults outside of these hours
National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Staffed by Yamhill County: 8 AM - 5 PMDirected to Yamhill County-specific 988 workers after hours
988 (call/text)988- Press 1 (Veterans)988- Press 2 (Spanish)
Resources
Call BlackLine
Trans Lifeline
1 (800) 604-5841
Provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences
The Trevor Project
877-565-8860
1-866-488-7386 24 Hours
Trans Lifeline connects trans people to the community support and resources we need to survive and thrive.
For LGBTQIA+ Youth (24 and under)
Resources
Additional Resources for Youth
Roleplay Instructions
In this section, you’ll find an example scenario that you can use to practice the skills you have learned today. After reading the scenario, you will be asked to identify any warning signs portrayed in the scenario. You will then be taken through a series of potential responses in your conversation with someone experiencing thoughts of suicide.
Roleplay Show what you know!
A Friend in Need
You and your close friend, Avery, meet once a week at your favorite coffee shop. In the last month, you've noticed that they seem overly tired and irritable. Avery's partner of two years broke up with them about three months ago, but they seemed okay with it at the time. You're waiting for Avery at the coffee shop. They walk in 10 minutes late and appear to be still wearing their pajamas, which is very unusual for them.
Go to the next page to decide your first step
When you ask how Avery is doing, they tell you that they aren't doing great because their company has announced a 20% reduction in staff, and they are fairly certain that they will be laid off.
Avery shrugs, "I haven't thought about the future in a while. It's just so depressing. It's like, what's the point?"
Avery says, "Yeah, from time to time, but in the last month or so, those thoughts have been all the time." They seem relieved to have talked about their thoughts and feelings.
Avery nods their head, "Yeah, I have these pills from my doctor that I've thought about taking, but it's never gone further."
Avery agrees to call the Yamhill County Crisis Line with you. The Crisis Counselor speaks with Avery and establishes a safety plan with them. After the call, Avery says they feel better and is going to order a lockable box to store their medicine.
Connecting with someone and showing that you care about their well-being is key to securing their cooperation in seeking help and accepting potentially life-saving care. Next, make sure to follow up with Avery and check in with their mental health from time to time! Remind them that you're always willing to talk if they are struggling.
Good job!
Click here to finish the course.
Assessment
Before Finishing the Course
To help us assess the impact of this course, please take a moment to complete this brief post-survey. The link below will take you to a Microsoft Form.
https://forms.office.com/g/JFXU1jy0yZ
Thank you!!!
If you are interested in formal suicide prevention training, please contact Yamhill County Public Health's Suicide Prevention Coordinator, Kelsey Murray, at murrayk@yamhillcounty.gov.
Course complete, you can now close the window.
Situational Clues
Loss affects everyone differently, and other factors may compound the impact of a loss.
This can be as simple as a head nod or an “Uh huh.” By acknowledging the speaker, you are letting them know that you are listening to what they have to say and reminding yourself to pay attention to what is being said to you.
Indirect Verbal Clues
Remember: Take all warning signs seriously, even if you think they may be "joking" about suicide.
Don't:
Direct Verbal Clues
Remember: Although these phrases may alarm you, it is important to remain calm and non-judgmental.
Being distracted and unfocused gives the speaker the impression that you aren’t paying attention. When you actively listen to someone, you are letting them know that you care about what they are saying and can indicate that you are concerned for their health and safety.
Behavioral Clues
Look for changes in a person's TYPICAL behavior, beliefs, or attitudes.
Ways Not to Ask the Question
Do not ever promise to keep their thoughts of suicide a secret. Asking the question in a judgmental or guiding way will not encourage them to open up to you and seek help. "You’re not thinking of killing yourself, are you?” “You wouldn’t do anything stupid, would you?”
Asking questions or making statements may help clarify what the speaker is saying. It reminds the speaker that you are listening attentively and that you are here to help them and are truly concerned. Be sure to let the speaker finish talking before asking any questions.
Reflecting on what the listener is saying is also a positive verbal active listening technique. Repeating, paraphrasing, or even summarizing what the speaker has said shows that you are putting in effort to better understand them. Use phrases like: “what I’m hearing is…”or “sounds like you’re saying….” These tactics can also allow the speaker to hear what they are saying, which may help them find positive reinforcement.
Don'ts:
Listening is very important during this step – find out what and who they believe will be the most effective sources of help.
Do's:
Ways to Ask the Question
Asking in this direct, unbiased manner can open the door for effective dialogue about their emotional pain. It can allow everyone involved to see what the next steps are that need to be taken. “Are you thinking about suicide? “Have you had thoughts about suicide?" "Are you thinking about killing yourself?"
Not sure where to start?
Start by expressing your concern and desire to help: “I’m worried because I noticed you [insert things you’ve noticed]. How can I help you through this?” “It seems like you have been up and down lately. I’ve been there myself. Talking about it really helps.”
For instance, the more steps and pieces of a plan that are in place, the higher the severity of risk, and the more likely they are to implement their plan. Or if they have immediate access to a firearm and are very serious about attempting suicide, then extra steps (like calling for emergency help or driving them to an emergency department) might be necessary. The Crisis Line (1-844-842-8200) can also serve as a resource during these moments if you aren’t entirely sure what to do next.
The following are essential elements to explore and include in the development of a safety plan:
An essential aspect of this step is to make sure you follow through with the ways in which you say you’ll be able to support the person – do not commit to anything you are not willing or able to accomplish.
This type of contact can continue to increase their feelings of connectedness and share your ongoing support. There is evidence that even a simple form of reaching out, like sending a caring postcard, can potentially reduce their risk for suicide.