Love , Sex & Choices:
The LGBTQ+ Survival Guide
Start
Know Your Body, Know Your Rights
Hey, let’s make one thing crystal: Not all bodies with boobs are girls. Not all people with penises are boys.And some of us are serving “none of the above” and still slay.We are here to spill the real tea. We’re talking vulvas, chests, penises, and everything in between (or neither), all showing up in the most deliciously diverse ways. So ditch the binary, this guide is queer-coded, lube-laced, and proudly NSFW (Not Straight, Fully Woke™). But first things first, let me give you a read:
1. Body autonomy? That means your body, your rules. Period. 2. Gender ≠ who you wanna vibe with. (Trust, your genitals don’t come with a playlist.) 3. Consent? It’s not just a checkbox, it’s a whole damn mood. And yes, you can revoke it anytime. Even halfway through a cuddle. Or mid-awkward tongue war.
+ info
In short: Your body is not up for debate, it’s up for celebration.Now let’s get into the good stuff.
Next
Let’s Talk About Sex
Anal? Absolutely.
(And Not Die of Awkwardness)
Mutual masturbation, finger magic, toy stories, and more? Sawa kabisa.
Okay, breathe. Sex is not a demon. Talking about it won’t summon thunder. We promise, no one has ever combusted just because they said “lube” out loud. If you grew up dodging weird biology diagrams and getting “just say no” pep talks from your CRE teacher, it’s time we unlearn all that stiff energy because sex is more than just P-in-V and for the queer fam, there’s a whole spectrum of pleasure, play, and possibilities.But it’s not just about tools; it’s about trust, comfort, and good vibes. Queer intimacy should be about safety and satisfaction. Not shame. Not fear and definitely not SILENCE!So let’s strip away the awkwardness (but keep the clothes on… unless you’re ready 😏).This is your no-judgment zone. We talk, we learn, we protect the vibe.
Oral? Yep.
YES!
YES!
+ info
Remember: Always be safe, the real MVPs are condoms, dental dams, gloves, and that silky magic called lube.
Next
STI's, HIV & PrEP
Because Being Informed is the New Sexy
Let’s be real...nothing kills the vibe faster than a burning sensation and a Google search at 2 a.m. 🙃
So instead of panicking post-hookup, how about we normalize knowing our status before things get hot?
STIs are not a punishment, and HIV is not a death sentence. We’re living in a time where access to testing, treatment, and prevention is not only possible,but powerful. Getting tested regularly is like getting your phone updated. Keeps things running smoothly.
This isn’t about fear, it’s about freedom. And freedom means facts, choice, and a little sprinkle of lube and logic.
+ info
Next
Where to get tested
You can get tested at most public hospitals, private clinics, and community health centers. But if the idea of a crowded waiting room gives you stress hives, no worries, there are LGBTQ+ friendly spaces like Ishtar MSM, LVCT Health, and Jinsiangu where you can get tested discreetly, respectfully, and without side eyes. Some even offer self-testing kits you can use at home (yes, in your pajamas, with your favorite playlist on).
Fam, How to protect yourself and your partners (and still have bomb sex)? First, Let’s kill the myth that safe sex is boring. Protection is power. Using condoms (internal or external), lube (to prevent tearing), and staying on top of your status makes sex safer, smoother, and stress free. Communication is part of the game, talk to your partner(s) about testing, boundaries, and protection before things get heated.
Next
Mental Health, Shame & Self-Love
Let’s be honest being queer in a society that still treats rainbow love like a crime scene can mess with your mind. Many of us grew up hearing that who we are is “wrong,” “sinful,” or “un-African.” (Spoiler: we’ve always been here.) That kind of talk doesn’t just disappear, it builds shame, fear, and silence that eats at our confidence like termites on a church wooden bench.
Next
Mental Health, Shame & Self-Love
Living in the closet can feel like walking through life holding your breath. It’s exhausting. The pressure to “act straight,” avoid questions, or dodge insults can lead to anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and in some cases, suicidal thoughts. Being rejected by family, friends, or religious spaces can feel like grief, because it is.You are mourning the loss of support systems while navigating the world alone.A 2022 GALCK+ survey found that nearly 1 in 2 queer youth in Kenya has experienced mental health struggles, and only 1 in 5 has access to affirming mental health care. That needs to change.
Sometimes, the hardest battles are the ones happening inside us. Internalized phobia is when you start believing all the negative things society says about your identity, that you’re less worthy, sinful, or broken. It can show up as self-hate, fear of expressing yourself, or even judging other queer people harshly. But here's the truth: you were never the problem, ignorance was..
Mental Health Effects of Being Closeted, Rejected, or Discriminated Against
Dealing with Internalized Homophobia and Transphobia
Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It starts with community, chosen family, and spaces where your queerness is not tolerated, but celebrated.Whether it’s an LGBTQ+ support group, a therapist who respects your pronouns, or that one friend who always reminds you that you’re the main character, you deserve people who see and love the whole you. And remember: social media can be a lifeline too. Online queer communities, affirming memes, and TikToks about your struggles? That’s real support.
Building Affirming Support Systems
Next
Fertility, Sperm Banking, Egg Freezing, & Trans-Affirming Healthcare
If you're thinking long-term (or just curious), here’s what to know: Trans folks: If you’re starting hormone therapy or planning surgeries, you may want to explore sperm or egg preservation before you begin. Queer couples: Options like surrogacy, reciprocal IVF, and co-parenting with friends are becoming more accessible. Adoption and foster care are also valid, beautiful paths to parenthood.In Kenya, access to trans-affirming reproductive care is still limited but advocacy is growing, and more clinics are beginning to have these conversations.So no, contraceptives and fertility talk aren’t just for straight couples.They’re for you too. Your body, your future, your story.
+ info
Next
Your Rights Are Human Rights And Not Up for Debate
Being LGBTQ+ is not illegal. Having sex is. (Yes, it’s as messy and ridiculous as it sounds.)In Kenya, same-sex sexual activity is still criminalized under Sections 162 & 165 of the Penal Code, colonial-era laws that are long overdue for the bin. But your existence, your identity, and your right to access healthcare, education, and dignity? Those are fully valid. Fully yours.
Know Your Legal Landscape
What to Do if You’re Denied Healthcare
Reporting Discrimination and Abuse
Legal Aid & Support Organizations (Kenya-Based)
Home
Reporting Discrimination and Abuse
No one, absolutely, NO ONE has the right to harass, out, beat, or abuse you because of who you are.If this happens:Report it to organizations that offer legal aid If you feel safe, go to the police with legal backup. If not, go through orgs that can advocate on your behalf.Keep records and screenshots of any digital harassment.
Know Your Legal Landscape
Section 162 & 165 criminalize “carnal knowledge against the order of nature”, often used to target LGBTQ+ people, despite being vague, outdated, and rooted in colonial BS.In 2023, the Supreme Court affirmed the right of LGBTQ+ organizations to register legally, which was a major win for the community.There’s no law against being gay, lesbian, trans, or non-binary, the system just hasn't caught up with reality.
Did you know that...
Kenya has one of the highest rates of new HIV infections among men who have sex with men (MSM) in East Africa.
In Kenya, trans and non-binary people face barriers to accessing healthcare due to identity mismatches on documents and provider bias.
PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by about 99% when taken daily. Free PrEP is available in selected clinics across Kenya, including LGBTQ+ friendly centers like Ishtar MSM and LVCT Health..
FACTS
Queer women and non-binary folks assigned female at birth still need access to contraceptives even if they primarily have sex with women.
Sperm and egg preservation before hormone therapy is increasingly recommended for trans individuals in case they want biological children later.
Over 40% of queer youth globally want children, yet less than 10% feel they understand their options (UNFPA Global SRHR Study, 2023).
Did you know that...
Intersex individuals make up approx. 1.7% of the global population. This is similar to the number of people born with red hair.
In Kenya, trans and non-binary people face barriers to accessing healthcare due to identity mismatches on documents and provider bias.
Only 2 out of 10 young LGBTQ+ Kenyans feel comfortable discussing sex or SRHR with their doctors (NGLHRC Report, 2022).
Did you know that...
Water-based or silicone lube reduces friction and lowers the risk of tearing during anal or vaginal sex.
Unprotected anal sex is the highest-risk sexual activity for HIV transmission, especially for the receptive partner.
Over 50% of young LGBTQ+ individuals in Kenya say their first sexual experience was without protection (Jinsiangu SRHR Survey, 2021).
Legal Aid & Support Organizations (Kenya-Based)
NGLHRC (National Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission)Legal aid, emergency response, and advocacyHotline: +254 111 222 444nglhrc.comIshtar MSMHealth services and legal referrals for men who have sex with menishtarmsm.orgJinsianguTrans, intersex, and non-binary community supportjinsiangu.orgHOYMASAdvocacy and services for male sex workers and MSMhoymas.or.ke
Facts
LGBTQ+ youth are 3–6 times more likely to experience depression and anxiety than their cishet peers (WHO, 2021).
In Kenya, 47% of LGBTQ+ youth report suicidal thoughts, often linked to social exclusion and violence (GALCK Coalition Report, 2022).
Online queer communities and safe spaces drastically reduce isolation and increase mental wellness.
What to Do if You’re Denied Healthcare
If a clinic or provider refuses to treat you, shames you for your gender identity, or asks invasive, irrelevant questions, that’s discrimination.You can:
Ask to speak to a supervisor or file a formal complaint (many hospitals have customer care desks). Document everything: names, times, location, and what happened. Seek care from LGBTQ+-affirming clinics like Ishtar MSM, Jinsiangu, LVCT Health, or HOYMAS.
What is PrEP
PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) is a daily pill that protects you from HIV before exposure. Take it consistently and it reduces your risk by over 99%.
What is PEP
PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis) is your emergency backup, it’s taken after a possible HIV exposure (within 72 hours) and continued for 28 days. Think of it like the morning-after pill for HIV, but don’t make it your Plan A.
You can access PrEP and PEP in select government hospitals and LGBTQ+ affirming clinics. And yes they're free or highly subsidized in Kenya.
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Transcript
Love , Sex & Choices:
The LGBTQ+ Survival Guide
Start
Know Your Body, Know Your Rights
Hey, let’s make one thing crystal: Not all bodies with boobs are girls. Not all people with penises are boys.And some of us are serving “none of the above” and still slay.We are here to spill the real tea. We’re talking vulvas, chests, penises, and everything in between (or neither), all showing up in the most deliciously diverse ways. So ditch the binary, this guide is queer-coded, lube-laced, and proudly NSFW (Not Straight, Fully Woke™). But first things first, let me give you a read:
1. Body autonomy? That means your body, your rules. Period. 2. Gender ≠ who you wanna vibe with. (Trust, your genitals don’t come with a playlist.) 3. Consent? It’s not just a checkbox, it’s a whole damn mood. And yes, you can revoke it anytime. Even halfway through a cuddle. Or mid-awkward tongue war.
+ info
In short: Your body is not up for debate, it’s up for celebration.Now let’s get into the good stuff.
Next
Let’s Talk About Sex
Anal? Absolutely.
(And Not Die of Awkwardness)
Mutual masturbation, finger magic, toy stories, and more? Sawa kabisa.
Okay, breathe. Sex is not a demon. Talking about it won’t summon thunder. We promise, no one has ever combusted just because they said “lube” out loud. If you grew up dodging weird biology diagrams and getting “just say no” pep talks from your CRE teacher, it’s time we unlearn all that stiff energy because sex is more than just P-in-V and for the queer fam, there’s a whole spectrum of pleasure, play, and possibilities.But it’s not just about tools; it’s about trust, comfort, and good vibes. Queer intimacy should be about safety and satisfaction. Not shame. Not fear and definitely not SILENCE!So let’s strip away the awkwardness (but keep the clothes on… unless you’re ready 😏).This is your no-judgment zone. We talk, we learn, we protect the vibe.
Oral? Yep.
YES!
YES!
+ info
Remember: Always be safe, the real MVPs are condoms, dental dams, gloves, and that silky magic called lube.
Next
STI's, HIV & PrEP
Because Being Informed is the New Sexy
Let’s be real...nothing kills the vibe faster than a burning sensation and a Google search at 2 a.m. 🙃 So instead of panicking post-hookup, how about we normalize knowing our status before things get hot? STIs are not a punishment, and HIV is not a death sentence. We’re living in a time where access to testing, treatment, and prevention is not only possible,but powerful. Getting tested regularly is like getting your phone updated. Keeps things running smoothly.
This isn’t about fear, it’s about freedom. And freedom means facts, choice, and a little sprinkle of lube and logic.
+ info
Next
Where to get tested
You can get tested at most public hospitals, private clinics, and community health centers. But if the idea of a crowded waiting room gives you stress hives, no worries, there are LGBTQ+ friendly spaces like Ishtar MSM, LVCT Health, and Jinsiangu where you can get tested discreetly, respectfully, and without side eyes. Some even offer self-testing kits you can use at home (yes, in your pajamas, with your favorite playlist on).
Fam, How to protect yourself and your partners (and still have bomb sex)? First, Let’s kill the myth that safe sex is boring. Protection is power. Using condoms (internal or external), lube (to prevent tearing), and staying on top of your status makes sex safer, smoother, and stress free. Communication is part of the game, talk to your partner(s) about testing, boundaries, and protection before things get heated.
Next
Mental Health, Shame & Self-Love
Let’s be honest being queer in a society that still treats rainbow love like a crime scene can mess with your mind. Many of us grew up hearing that who we are is “wrong,” “sinful,” or “un-African.” (Spoiler: we’ve always been here.) That kind of talk doesn’t just disappear, it builds shame, fear, and silence that eats at our confidence like termites on a church wooden bench.
Next
Mental Health, Shame & Self-Love
Living in the closet can feel like walking through life holding your breath. It’s exhausting. The pressure to “act straight,” avoid questions, or dodge insults can lead to anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and in some cases, suicidal thoughts. Being rejected by family, friends, or religious spaces can feel like grief, because it is.You are mourning the loss of support systems while navigating the world alone.A 2022 GALCK+ survey found that nearly 1 in 2 queer youth in Kenya has experienced mental health struggles, and only 1 in 5 has access to affirming mental health care. That needs to change.
Sometimes, the hardest battles are the ones happening inside us. Internalized phobia is when you start believing all the negative things society says about your identity, that you’re less worthy, sinful, or broken. It can show up as self-hate, fear of expressing yourself, or even judging other queer people harshly. But here's the truth: you were never the problem, ignorance was..
Mental Health Effects of Being Closeted, Rejected, or Discriminated Against
Dealing with Internalized Homophobia and Transphobia
Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It starts with community, chosen family, and spaces where your queerness is not tolerated, but celebrated.Whether it’s an LGBTQ+ support group, a therapist who respects your pronouns, or that one friend who always reminds you that you’re the main character, you deserve people who see and love the whole you. And remember: social media can be a lifeline too. Online queer communities, affirming memes, and TikToks about your struggles? That’s real support.
Building Affirming Support Systems
Next
Fertility, Sperm Banking, Egg Freezing, & Trans-Affirming Healthcare
If you're thinking long-term (or just curious), here’s what to know: Trans folks: If you’re starting hormone therapy or planning surgeries, you may want to explore sperm or egg preservation before you begin. Queer couples: Options like surrogacy, reciprocal IVF, and co-parenting with friends are becoming more accessible. Adoption and foster care are also valid, beautiful paths to parenthood.In Kenya, access to trans-affirming reproductive care is still limited but advocacy is growing, and more clinics are beginning to have these conversations.So no, contraceptives and fertility talk aren’t just for straight couples.They’re for you too. Your body, your future, your story.
+ info
Next
Your Rights Are Human Rights And Not Up for Debate
Being LGBTQ+ is not illegal. Having sex is. (Yes, it’s as messy and ridiculous as it sounds.)In Kenya, same-sex sexual activity is still criminalized under Sections 162 & 165 of the Penal Code, colonial-era laws that are long overdue for the bin. But your existence, your identity, and your right to access healthcare, education, and dignity? Those are fully valid. Fully yours.
Know Your Legal Landscape
What to Do if You’re Denied Healthcare
Reporting Discrimination and Abuse
Legal Aid & Support Organizations (Kenya-Based)
Home
Reporting Discrimination and Abuse
No one, absolutely, NO ONE has the right to harass, out, beat, or abuse you because of who you are.If this happens:Report it to organizations that offer legal aid If you feel safe, go to the police with legal backup. If not, go through orgs that can advocate on your behalf.Keep records and screenshots of any digital harassment.
Know Your Legal Landscape
Section 162 & 165 criminalize “carnal knowledge against the order of nature”, often used to target LGBTQ+ people, despite being vague, outdated, and rooted in colonial BS.In 2023, the Supreme Court affirmed the right of LGBTQ+ organizations to register legally, which was a major win for the community.There’s no law against being gay, lesbian, trans, or non-binary, the system just hasn't caught up with reality.
Did you know that...
Kenya has one of the highest rates of new HIV infections among men who have sex with men (MSM) in East Africa.
In Kenya, trans and non-binary people face barriers to accessing healthcare due to identity mismatches on documents and provider bias.
PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by about 99% when taken daily. Free PrEP is available in selected clinics across Kenya, including LGBTQ+ friendly centers like Ishtar MSM and LVCT Health..
FACTS
Queer women and non-binary folks assigned female at birth still need access to contraceptives even if they primarily have sex with women.
Sperm and egg preservation before hormone therapy is increasingly recommended for trans individuals in case they want biological children later.
Over 40% of queer youth globally want children, yet less than 10% feel they understand their options (UNFPA Global SRHR Study, 2023).
Did you know that...
Intersex individuals make up approx. 1.7% of the global population. This is similar to the number of people born with red hair.
In Kenya, trans and non-binary people face barriers to accessing healthcare due to identity mismatches on documents and provider bias.
Only 2 out of 10 young LGBTQ+ Kenyans feel comfortable discussing sex or SRHR with their doctors (NGLHRC Report, 2022).
Did you know that...
Water-based or silicone lube reduces friction and lowers the risk of tearing during anal or vaginal sex.
Unprotected anal sex is the highest-risk sexual activity for HIV transmission, especially for the receptive partner.
Over 50% of young LGBTQ+ individuals in Kenya say their first sexual experience was without protection (Jinsiangu SRHR Survey, 2021).
Legal Aid & Support Organizations (Kenya-Based)
NGLHRC (National Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission)Legal aid, emergency response, and advocacyHotline: +254 111 222 444nglhrc.comIshtar MSMHealth services and legal referrals for men who have sex with menishtarmsm.orgJinsianguTrans, intersex, and non-binary community supportjinsiangu.orgHOYMASAdvocacy and services for male sex workers and MSMhoymas.or.ke
Facts
LGBTQ+ youth are 3–6 times more likely to experience depression and anxiety than their cishet peers (WHO, 2021).
In Kenya, 47% of LGBTQ+ youth report suicidal thoughts, often linked to social exclusion and violence (GALCK Coalition Report, 2022).
Online queer communities and safe spaces drastically reduce isolation and increase mental wellness.
What to Do if You’re Denied Healthcare
If a clinic or provider refuses to treat you, shames you for your gender identity, or asks invasive, irrelevant questions, that’s discrimination.You can:
Ask to speak to a supervisor or file a formal complaint (many hospitals have customer care desks). Document everything: names, times, location, and what happened. Seek care from LGBTQ+-affirming clinics like Ishtar MSM, Jinsiangu, LVCT Health, or HOYMAS.
What is PrEP
PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) is a daily pill that protects you from HIV before exposure. Take it consistently and it reduces your risk by over 99%.
What is PEP
PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis) is your emergency backup, it’s taken after a possible HIV exposure (within 72 hours) and continued for 28 days. Think of it like the morning-after pill for HIV, but don’t make it your Plan A.
You can access PrEP and PEP in select government hospitals and LGBTQ+ affirming clinics. And yes they're free or highly subsidized in Kenya.