Assertiveness and conflict resolution

Ana María Navarro López anamaria.navarro5@um.es

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

Until recently, both social scientists and popular belief regarded conflict as something negative to be avoided, something related to psychopathology, social disorders and war. Today, however, we see conflict as an inevitable feature of social relations. The problem is that all conflict can take a constructive or destructive course and therefore the question is not so much to eliminate or prevent conflict but to know how to take on such conflict situations and deal with them with sufficient resources so that all those involved in such situations come out of them enriched (Deutsch, 1973). Indeed, conflict is an active disagreement between people with opposing opinions or principles from a war to the choice between an ice cream or a slush (Mark and Sinder, 1957).

DEFINITION

WHAT IS A CONFLICT?

• It is a driver of personal and social change and innovation.
• It stimulates interest and curiosity. It is often a challenge to one's own abilities.
• It distinguishes a group from others and helps to establish personal and group identity.
• It improves the quality of decision-making and problem-solving.
• It can facilitate open and honest communication between participants on issues of mutual relevance.
• It increases the recognition of each other's legitimacy.

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

If the conflict is resolved correctly, it can have many positive values, such as:

• Communication is reduced and becomes more unsafe.
• The idea that the solution is a question of strength is encouraged. Both sides try to increase the power difference to their advantage.
• A hostile and suspicious attitude is formed.
• Misjudgements are made based on false perceptions:
• Reduction of perceived alternatives
• Thinking polarisation
• Stereotyped answers
• Defensive attitude

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

But it can also have negative values if the conflict is not resolved properly, such as:

PHASE 4: the result

PHASE 2: the conflict

PHASE 3: the answer

PHASE 1: Attitudes and beliefs

The answer will always lead to the same result. The consequence will serve to reinforce the belief and thus the cycle continues. In most cases, the result of the cycle of conflict reinforces our system of beliefs and leads to the perpetuation of the same pattern.

The conflict itself occurs.

It is how we respond to conflict. We may start shouting, try to talk about the situation or simply give up. These reactions can tell us a lot about ourselves and our patterns in conflict situations.

Our attitudes and beliefs affect how we respond when conflict occurs.  The messages received in childhood about conflict  Role models of parents, teachers and friends  Attitudes and behaviours seen in the media  Our own experiences with conflict

The experience of each of us in conflict situations seems to follow a series of phases that cause us to perpetuate the cycle. The cycle can be positive or negative.

the cycle of conflict

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

(Moore, 1986)

Caused by oppressive structures of human relations.

Structural conflicts

Caused by competing or perceived incompatible needs. They result when one or more parties believe that in order to satisfy their needs, those of an opponent must be sacrificed.

Conflicts of interest

Relationship conflicts

Due to strong negative emotions, false perceptions or stereotypes, little or no communication, or repetitive negative behaviours.

Information conflicts

People lack the information needed to make correct decisions, are misinformed, differ about what information is relevant, or have differing judgements.

types of conflicts

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

(Moore, 1986)

Conflict is between two big groups: two nations at war, trade unions and employers, etc.

Inter-group conflictS

Conflict occurs within a small group: within families, corporations, classes, etc.

Intra-group conflictS

Conflict occurs between individuals: husband and wife, boss and subordinate, friends etc.

Interpersonal conflict

Intrapersonal conflicts

Conflict occurs within individuals. The source of conflict includes ideas, thoughts, emotions, values, predispositions, impulses, which come into collision with each other.

Value conflicts

Caused by incompatible belief systems. Values are beliefs that people use to make sense of their lives. Values explain what is good or bad, true or false, fair or unfair.

types of conflicts

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

Blake & Mouton (1972); Thomas & Killmann (1978); Rahim (1983)

Both the outcome and the relationship are important. The parties try to achieve the best possible outcome while simultaneously maintaining or strengthening their relationship. The parties see conflict as a natural part of human relationships, not as a sign that something bad has happened.

Problem solving

The outcome of the negotiation is more important than the relationship. Believing that one person is right and the other is wrong, confrontational subjects are determined to win by proving that they are right.

Competition

Accommodation

The importance of the relationship is very high and that of the outcome very low. We want the other person to win, to keep them happy, or we do not want to destroy our relationship by trying to achieve some benefit.

Avoidance

It is the non-negotiation and non-confrontation of the problem.

STYLES OF DEALING WITH CONFLICT

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

The resolution of conflicts typically involves some or all of the following processes:

1. Recognition by the parties involved that a problem exists.
2. Mutual agreement to address the issue and find some resolution.
3. An effort to understand the perspective and concerns of the opposing individual or group.
4. Identifying changes in attitude, behavior, and approaches to lessen negative feelings.
5. Recognizing triggers to episodes of conflict.
6. Interventions by third parties to mediate.
7. A willingness by one or both parties to compromise.
8. Agreement on a plan to address differences.
9. Monitoring the impact of any agreements for change.

THE CONFLICT RESOLUTION PROCESS

Responding to conflict assertively increases the likelihood of achieving your goals. Even if the results aren’t initially perfect, this approach leads to feelings of self-worth because you are being straightforward. Self-confidence improves and relationships become more open and honest.

Being assertive means communicating your needs, wants, feelings, beliefs and opinions to others in a direct and honest manner, while at the same time being receptive to their needs and without intentionally hurting anyone’s feelings.

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS

SET A POSITIVE TONE

- Show positive intentions (e.g. ‘I want this relationship to continue’, ‘this is important to me’, ‘I really want to understand this’).- Acknowledge and validate the other person (e.g. ‘I can see that you are as worried as I am’, ‘I appreciate your willingness to talk about this’, ‘thank you for taking this seriously’).

PLAN / ANALYSE

- What specifically worries me about this conflict?- Who is involved? - How does this affect me, why is it important to me? - What do I need to understand about this conflict? - What obstacles to dialogue do I perceive, what can I do to overcome them? - What assumptions or prejudices do I have about the other person? - What would make the situation better for me?

how to resolve a conflict

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

- Choose solutions that are satisfactory to all parties. - Ensure that solutions are specific and balanced. - Agree on a date to follow up on the functioning of the solution.

CHOOSE A SOLUTION

- Determine the advantages and disadvantages for each option.

EVALUATE SOLUTIONS

LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS

- List ideas in a non-judgmental way.- Think of concrete actions that can be carried out.

DISCUSS AND DEFINE THE PROBLEM

- Each person presents their issues and feelings in turn, using effective communication techniques (such as ‘I-messages’) and descriptive, non-judgemental language.- Each person uses active listening to respond to the speaker's concerns. - Identify obstacles, interests and needs. - If necessary, discuss assumptions, prejudices and judgements. - Summarise the new understanding of the situation.

how to resolve a conflict

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

The objective of interest-based negotiation is to reach a fair agreement that satisfies as many of the parties' interests as possible, while preserving or enhancing the relationship between the parties. Participants become problem solvers, working towards a common goal, rather than negotiating adversaries who perceive their loss as directly proportional to the other's gain. Principles of interest-based negotiation  Separate the person from the problem.  Focus on interests rather than positions.  Generate a range of possibilities before a final decision is made.  Insist on basing the solution on some objective criteria.

INTEREST-BASED NEGOTIATION EXERCISE

-A model -A footballer -A firefighter -A singer -A nurse

The group should discuss and convince other participants who should leave the balloon. Each participant has 20 minutes to convince the other participants that he/she is the one who should stay in the balloon. With this dynamic we intend to analyse the roles that are assumed in the debate and how they influence communication, the decision-making process in the group, to evaluate the group's ability to cooperate, as well as to observe leadership processes and initiative. But the most important thing is that we work on personal branding. Suicide and raffles are not allowed. If a decision is not reached within 20 min, all members of the group will die.

The 10 people on the globe are: - A priest - A tabloid journalist - A political advisor -A primary school teacher -An administration civil servant

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

A meteorite falls into the Atlantic Ocean creating a giant wave that submerges every continent on the planet. Luckily, you and 9 other people are currently flying over Iguazu National Park in a hot air balloon. After a few hours, the balloon begins to lose air, but you see an island to land on. The sea is full of hungry sharks and the only way for the balloon to reach the island is to drop one of the occupants.

WHO SHOULD BE SAVED?

INTEREST-BASED NEGOTIATION EXERCISE

WHich items we keep and which items we leave behind?

- A 50 k oxygen tank -A magnetic compass -25 litres of water -First aid kit -FM radio transmitter

The group has to discuss and convince the other participants which 5 items to leave. Each group has 10 minutes to agree on which 5 items to keep and which 5 items to discard. With this dynamic we intend to analyse the roles that are assumed in the debate and how they influence communication, the decision-making process in the group, to evaluate the group's ability to cooperate, as well as to observe leadership processes and initiative. If a decision is not reached within 10 min, all members of the group will die.

The 10 items you are carrying are: -Matchbox -Canned food -20 m of rope -Parachute cloth -A box of powdered milk

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

After losing one of your group members, there is still too much weight on the balloon, so instead of getting rid of another group member you have to get rid of 5 of the items you are carrying in order to reach the island safely.

INTEREST-BASED NEGOTIATION EXERCISE

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Assertiveness and conflict resolution

1. Blake, R. & Mouton, J. (1972). The Managerial Grid: Key Orientations For Achieving Production Through People. Gulf Publishing Company, Houston (Texas).
2. Deutsch, M. (1973). The Resolution of Conflict, Constructive and Destructive Processes. Yale University Press, New Haven.
3. Mack, R. W., & Snyder, R. C. (1957). The Analysis of Social Conflict—Toward an Overview and Synthesis. Journal of Conflict Resolution, 1, 212-248.
4. Moore, C. (1986). The Mediation Process: Practical Strategies for Resolving Conflict. Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, CA.
5. Rahim, M. A. (1983). A measure of styles of handling interpersonal conflict. Academy of Management Journal, 26(2), 368–376.
6. Thomas, K. & Kilmann, R. (1978). Comparison of Four Instruments Measuring Conflict Behavior. Psychological Reports. 42. 1139-1145.

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