v2 - post separation p and c wheel

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Adapted from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project www.theduluthmodel.org

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Discrediting her as a mother

Withholding financial support

Endangering children

Disregarding children

Disrupting relationship with child

Undermining her ability to parent

Using harassment & intimidation

Using physical & sexual violence

Post-separation power & control

Ignoring school schedules, homework. Ridiculing their needs, wants, fears, identities. Forcing family members, new girlfriends or wives, other women to do his parenting work. Treating them as younger or older than they are. Enforcing strict gender roles.

Disregarding children

Prior physical and sexual violence, coercive and controlling behaviour against mother and child(ren)

Prior abuse

Neglecting them when they’re with him. Putting them in age inappropriate emotional, physical situations. Using violence in front of children.

Endangering children

Threatening to kill or kidnap the children. Physically hurting her. Abusing children physically, sexually, emotionally. Forcing sex as a condition for keeping the children safe or allowing her to see them.

Using physical & sexual violence

Destroying things belonging/ related to her/ children. Using children to justify breaking no contact orders. Threatening and stalking. Making his presence known while staying conspicuously outside protection order boundaries. Abusing animals.

Using harassment and intimidation

Using her social status against her sexual identity. Immigration, race, religion, education, income. Inundating systems with false accusations of bad parenting. Exploiting ‘children need a father’ to gain sympathy. Isolating her from family, friends etc.

Discrediting her as a mother

Coercing them to ally with him. Degrading her to them. Using children as spies. Isolating children from her; her from children.

Disrupting relationship with child

Unrelenting focus on her

Perpetrator focus

Disrupting children’s sleep, feeding patterns. Withholding information about children’s social, emotional, physical needs. Contradicting her rules for children. Demanding visitation schedules at children’s expense.

Undermining her ability to parent

Withholding child support, insurance, medical, basic expense payments. Using court action to take her money, resources. Interfering with her ability to work. Blocking access to money after separation.

Withholding financial support