Roma 2025_1
Marina B.
Created on October 27, 2024
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Transcript
for an essay
- Решение коммуникативной задачи (3 балла);
- Организация текста (3 балла);
- Лексика (3 балла);
- Грамматика (3 балла);
- Орфография и пунктуация (2 балла).
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Undoubtedly, all people have a hobby but, unfortunately, they often do not have enough time or money for it. I have found an opinion poll on the popularity of different hobbies in the USA. I am going to comment on several key features of the results of the poll and express my opinion about the topic of the project.
Задание: Imagine that you are doing a project on the popularity of different hobbies among teenagers in the USA. You have found some data on the subject - the results of the opinion polls (see the table below). Comment on the data in the table and give your opinion on the subject of the project.
Найдите ошибки по критериям К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) и К2 (организация текста) во введениях ниже:
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Написана проблема, связанная с хобби (they often do not have enough time or money for it). Это – ошибка по К2, потому что содержание абзаца не соответствует указанному плану 2) В задании дана тема: the popularity of different hobbies among teenagers in the USA, а во введении не указаны подростки. Это – ошибка по К1, потому что этот аспект раскрыт не полностью.
Undoubtedly, all people have a hobby but, unfortunately, they often do not have enough time or money for it. I have found an opinion poll on the popularity of different hobbies in the USA. I am going to comment on several key features of the results of the poll and express my opinion about the topic of the project.
Paragraph 1
I have decided to do a project on the most popular social networks and found the results of an opinion poll to illustrate some of my ideas, for example, the most popular one is Instagram. Below I will give my comments on the results of the poll and express my opinion.
Imagine that you are doing a project on the most popular social networks among teenagers in Russia. You have found some data on the subject - the results of the opinion polls (see the pie chart below). Comment on the data in the pie chart and give your opinion on the subject of the project.
Найдите ошибки по критериям К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) и К2 (организация текста) во введениях ниже:
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1) Не указано, что мы нашли – таблицу или pie chart, это будет +/- по К1 2) Нет подводки к теме, абзац начинается сразу с темы проекта. Это – ошибка по К2, потому что нарушена логика. 3) Написан факт по результатам опроса, которого в 1-м абзаце быть не должно. Это – тоже ошибка по К2, потому что содержание абзаца не соответствует плану.
I have decided to do a project on the most popular social networks and found the results of an opinion poll to illustrate some of my ideas, for example, the most popular one is Instagram. Below I will give my comments on the results of the poll and express my opinion.
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One can see from the poll that most teenagers in the USA (32% of the respondents) choose music as their hobby. The least popular hobby among this group of people is doing sports which is almost 6 times less popular than music among teenagers in the USA.
Задание: Imagine that you are doing a project on the popularity of different hobbies among teenagers in the USA. You have found some data on the subject - the results of the opinion polls (see the table below). Comment on the data in the table and give your opinion on the subject of the project.
Найдите ошибки по критериям К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) и К2 (организация текста) во 2-м абзаце:
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1) Не указаны проценты во 2-м предложении, с самым не популярным хобби. Это – ошибка по К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи), потому что аспект раскрыт не точно. 2) Сравниваются 2 приведенных факта. Это – ошибка по К2 (организация текста), потому что содержание не соответствует плану.
One can see from the poll that most teenagers in the USA (32% of the respondents) choose music as their hobby. The least popular hobby among this group of people is doing sports which is almost 6 times less popular than music among teenagers in the USA.
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YouTube is the most popular social network in Russia, which was mentioned by 35% of the respondents, while Yandex.Zen is the least popular social network, with only 4% of users.
Imagine that you are doing a project on the most popular social networks in Russia. You have found some data on the subject - the results of the opinion polls (see the pie chart below). Comment on the data in the pie chart and give your opinion on the subject of the project.
Найдите ошибки по критериям К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) и К2 (организация текста) во 2-м абзаце:
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В этом абзаце нет логических связок, указывающих, что перед нами – факты. Это ошибка сразу по двум критериям – К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи), потому что аспект будет раскрыт не точно и К2 (организация текста), потому что не использованы средства логической связи.
As can be seen from the pie chart, YouTube is the most popular social network in Russia, which was mentioned by 35% of the respondents, while Yandex.Zen is the least popular social network, with only 4% of users.
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Turning to the details, we can see that three times as many people prefer reading as travelling (30% and 10% respectively). Playing video games as a hobby is less popular than reading and more popular than travelling.
Imagine that you are doing a project on the popularity of different hobbies among teenagers in the USA. You have found some data on the subject - the results of the opinion polls (see the table below).
Найдите ошибки по критериям К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) и К2 (организация текста) в 3-м абзаце:
В абзаце не указаны проценты для 2-го сравнения. Это – ошибка по К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи), потому что аспект раскрыт не точно. Также нет комментария к этим двум фактам. Тоже ошибка по К1.
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Turning to the details, we can see that three times as many people prefer reading as travelling (30% and 10% respectively). Playing video games as a hobby is less popular than reading and more popular than travelling.
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Free-time activities can take up too much of your time and people will forget about their work or study. It is a good idea to do your hobby in your free time when you do not have to do something important.
Imagine that you are doing a project on the popularity of different hobbies among teenagers in the USA. You have found some data on the subject - the results of the opinion polls (see the table below). Comment on the data in the table and give your opinion on the subject of the project.
Найдите ошибки по критериям К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) и К2 (организация текста) в 4-м абзаце:
Здесь главная проблема – отсутствие логических связок, указывающих на проблему в первом предложении и её решение во втором. Из-за этого имеем ошибку по К2 (отсутствие логических связок), а особо придирчивый эксперт может поставить и К1 – нераскрытый аспект.
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However, there is a problem....., Free-time activities can take up too much of your time and people will forget about their work or study. It is a good idea to do your hobby in your free time when you do not have to do something important.
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To conclude, free-time activities are of significant importance in our life because they give us an opportunity to recharge our batteries and be able to carry on with our everyday tasks.
Imagine that you are doing a project on the popularity of different hobbies among teenagers in the USA. You have found some data on the subject - the results of the opinion polls (see the table below). Comment on the data in the table and give your opinion on the subject of the project.
Найдите ошибки по критериям К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) и К2 (организация текста) в 5-м абзаце:
Не написано, что это именно мнение АВТОРА, ошибка в К1 (решении коммуникативной задачи) – неточно раскрытый аспект.
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To conclude, I think, free-time activities are of significant importance in our life because they give us an opportunity to recharge our batteries and be able to carry on with our everyday tasks.