I-Messsage + Conflict
FT Learning Support
Created on September 19, 2024
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Transcript
WHAT CAN'T I CONTROL?
WHAT CAN I CONTROL?
I-Message
How would you feel?
If your friend lied to you?If you friend cheated off of your test and you both got in trouble for it?
Emotion Refresh!
- Emotions can affect your thinking, behavior, and actions
- Emotions can affect your physical body
- When someone ignores their emotions, they may become physically ill
I-Messages
A gentle way to help resolve a conflict is to steer clear of language that might make the situation more challenging.
One way to approach this is by sharing a statement about yourself and your feelings. This expression is referred to as "I-messages".
I-Messages should start with "I feel" or "I felt"
Video
Watch the video linked below to see an example of I-Messages
Why is this helpful?
- An appropriate way to communicate how you feel
- Allow you to take responsibility for your emotions
- Help you avoid attacking or blaming another person
I-Messages are.....
I vs. You
I-Messages express a concern in a gentle way, focusing on the issue rather than placing blame on anyone. This approach creates makes it easier for the other person to engage in finding a solution together, without feeling defensive about being wrong.
Sentence starters
I feel/felt/was < insert emotion>When, <insert a description without attacking or blaming> I would like <describe solution without attacking or blaming>
example
example
example
Let's practice.....
Your sister promised to take you to the mall on Saturday but she changed her mind and decided to hang out with her friends instead
Be cautious!
Sometimes we think we are using an "I" statement but we are still placing blame or attacking the other person.
False "I"
False "I" Example
I felt like you were being imature
What is wrong with what was said?
Find out here
find out here
A good example
The language you use is important!
Furious vs unimportantFurious may come across as placing more blame on the other person than what you intended for.
To review...
When you are sharing your emotions or feelings with someone, use an "I" statement so that you are not placing blame on the person.
Day 2
Solving a conflit
Conflict may cause strong emotions and lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort.If a conflict is handled in a healthy it can increase our understanding of one another, build trust, and strengthen relationship bonds.
Click the link to the videos below
Conflict Resolution: How to Settle Your Differences Fairly | BrainPOP
3 CONFLICT RESOLUTION Strategies for Kids | Classroom Management 🍎
Avoid Conflict
Some great tips to avoid conflict:
- Stay away from anyone or place that causes you to get upset
- Walk away if a conflict is starting to arise
- Change the subject
What if the conflict can't be avoided?
- Delay responding (think about what to say)
- Move away and cool down
- Use humor
- Reason
- Apologize if it will help
Find a solution
- Talk about the problem without placing blame (i-message)
- Listen and consider the other person's point of view and feelings
- Compromise
Let's try to solve a conflict
Two students have a heated argument during class over differing opinions on a topic
Conflict:
Info
TheEnd
Extra video
i can control
i can't control
What others say about me
If others accept me
If others take responsibility for their actions
My courage to try new things
Ignoring negative thoughts
Choosing to be responsible for my actions
If others feel purpose in their life
If others appreciate my talents
When others are negative
Choosing to love myself
Accepting myself and others
How I react to criticism
i can control
i can't control
What others say about me
If others accept me
If others take responsibility for their actions
My courage to try new things
Ignoring negative thoughts
Choosing to be responsible for my actions
If others feel purpose in their life
If others appreciate my talents
When others are negative
Choosing to love myself
Accepting myself and others
How I react to criticism
Drag the content
Try this....
I felt embressased when the waiter had to clean up the mess that was made with our food
I would like it if I could be included next time
I felt like you were being immature
It is a you message in disguise. Still playing blame
When, I am not included in the game, I feel sad
I felt sad when when I was not included on the playground
The students can express their viewpoint without interruption and then discuss to find a common ground or agreeing to disagree respectfully.