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Transcript

Preparing for aCrucial Conversation

Click through this interactive guide to learn more about preparing for a crucial conversation

Define the Purpose

  • Clarify the objective.
  • Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve from this conversation?
  • Identify the desired outcome and focus on resolution.
  • Knowing your goal will keep the conversation on track.

Gather the Facts

  • Separate facts from emotions.
  • List the concrete facts of the situation.
  • Facts are objective details that can be verified, such as specific actions or behaviors, dates, or outcomes.
  • Avoid basing the conversations on assumptions, feelings, or perceived intentions.

Identify the StoryYou're Telling Yourself

  • Recognize emotional biases.
  • Before entering a crucial conversation, reflect on the story you've created in your mind.
  • This internal narrative often includes assumptions about others' motives or why the situation has unfolded this way.
  • These stories are often shaped by emotions and may not reflect the reality of the situation.
  • Ex. They missed the deadline because they don't care about the project or This employee is always trying to undermine me.

Reframe Your Story

  • Challenge your assumptions.
  • Ask yourself: Is this story based on facts, or am I interpreting motives?
  • Seek alternative explanations for the behavior you're addressing.
  • Adopt a more neutral mindset.
  • Shift from accusatory or negativity to a more open, curious mindset.
  • Reframe your story to one that seeks to understand the other person's perspective.

Plan YourOpening Statement

  • Start with shared goals.
  • Begin the conversation by emphasizing your mutual desire for a positive outcome.
  • Stay focused on the facts.
  • Lead with the objective facts you've gathered and avoid diving into your interpretations or emotions right away.
  • This creates a safe space for discussion.
  • Ex. I'd like to talk about how we can improve our communication to avoid any confusion moving forward.

Prepare forEmotional Responses

  • Anticipate reactions.
  • Think through how the other person might respond.
  • Consider potential defensiveness, frustration, or surprise, and prepare yourself to stay calm and composed.
  • Stay open to their perspective.
  • Be ready to listen actively and respond empathetically.
  • This shows that you value their input.