Preparing for a Crucial Conversation
Brooke Smith
Created on September 17, 2024
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Transcript
Preparing for aCrucial Conversation
Click through this interactive guide to learn more about preparing for a crucial conversation
Define the Purpose
- Clarify the objective.
- Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve from this conversation?
- Identify the desired outcome and focus on resolution.
- Knowing your goal will keep the conversation on track.
Gather the Facts
- Separate facts from emotions.
- List the concrete facts of the situation.
- Facts are objective details that can be verified, such as specific actions or behaviors, dates, or outcomes.
- Avoid basing the conversations on assumptions, feelings, or perceived intentions.
Identify the StoryYou're Telling Yourself
- Recognize emotional biases.
- Before entering a crucial conversation, reflect on the story you've created in your mind.
- This internal narrative often includes assumptions about others' motives or why the situation has unfolded this way.
- These stories are often shaped by emotions and may not reflect the reality of the situation.
- Ex. They missed the deadline because they don't care about the project or This employee is always trying to undermine me.
Reframe Your Story
- Challenge your assumptions.
- Ask yourself: Is this story based on facts, or am I interpreting motives?
- Seek alternative explanations for the behavior you're addressing.
- Adopt a more neutral mindset.
- Shift from accusatory or negativity to a more open, curious mindset.
- Reframe your story to one that seeks to understand the other person's perspective.
Plan YourOpening Statement
- Start with shared goals.
- Begin the conversation by emphasizing your mutual desire for a positive outcome.
- Stay focused on the facts.
- Lead with the objective facts you've gathered and avoid diving into your interpretations or emotions right away.
- This creates a safe space for discussion.
- Ex. I'd like to talk about how we can improve our communication to avoid any confusion moving forward.
Prepare forEmotional Responses
- Anticipate reactions.
- Think through how the other person might respond.
- Consider potential defensiveness, frustration, or surprise, and prepare yourself to stay calm and composed.
- Stay open to their perspective.
- Be ready to listen actively and respond empathetically.
- This shows that you value their input.