Power and Control Wheel

Sexual and Physical Violence

Using Children

• Making her feel guilty about the children
• Using the children to relay messages
• Using visitation to harass her
• Threatening to take the children away

Intimidation

• Making her afraid by using looks, actions, and/or gestures
• Smashing things
• Destroying her property
• Abusing pets
• Displaying weapons

Emotional Abuse

• Putting her down
• Making her feel bad about herself
• Calling her names
• Making her think she's crazy
• Playing mind games
• Humiliating her
• Making her feel guilty

Isolation

• Controlling what she does, who she sees, talks to, reads, and where she goes
• Limiting her outside involvement
• Using jealousy to justify actions

Economic Abuse

• Preventing her from getting or keeping a job
• Making her ask for money
• Giving her an allowance
• Taking her money
• Not letting her know about or have access to family income

Male Privilege

• Making her like a servant
• Making all the big decisions
• Acting like the "master of the castle"
• Being the one to define men's and women's roles

Minimizing, Denying, & Blaming

• Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously
• Saying the abuse didn't happen
• Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
• Saying she caused it

Sexual and Physical Violence

Scott Miller explains how physical and sexual violence, or the threat of such violence, helps batterers keep control within an abusive relationship.

Coercion and Threats

• Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt her
• Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare
• Making her drop charges
• Making her do illegal things