Module 13 - Safe Sex, Boundaries in Romantic Relationships and Consent

Safe Sex, Boundaries, and Consent

START

sCHEDULE

Group Expectations

Consent

Prep vs PEP

Comfort Zone Game

Consent Theater

Contraception

Setting Boundaries

STI Mythbuster

pre survey

Facilitators will give you a scenario:move to your answer

Yes

No

Comfort zone

Maybe

HOW DO RELATIONSHIPS START?

SOCIAL MEDIA

DATING APPS

SCHOOL

WORK

What is a boundary?

A limit or guideline that a person sets to define what is acceptable and comfortable for them in various aspects of life, such as physical space, emotions, time, and relationships Boundaries help individuals protect their well-being, maintain their identity, and ensure mutual respect in interactions with others

What is a boundary?

A limit or guideline that a person sets to define what is acceptable and comfortable for them in various aspects of life, such as physical space, emotions, time, and relationships Boundaries help individuals protect their well-being, maintain their identity, and ensure mutual respect in interactions with others

Boundaries are not the same as responsibilites

Responsibilities are tasks or duties that are important for development, personal growth, and independence Chores, listening to your parents/guardians, attending school fall into this category Boundaries protect safety and respect, but avoiding responsibilities can have negative consequences

How to make Boundaries

Communicate your needs & wants

Say what you are not comfortable with

Speak up when a boundary is crossed

Apologize if you accidently cross someone else's boundary

Reflect

Teens like you are thinking about consent and applying it in many ways. Think about these questions as we review the definition of consent.

Have you ever been in a situation where you were pressured to act in a way you weren’t comfortable with?

When was the last time you felt trapped?

How important to you is it to be trusted and responsible?

Can you think of a time where you felt empowered as part of a team?

What is Consent?

Use Body language-What are they thinking?

Watch the Eyes

Unfocused

Eyes down

Crying

Sad/embarrassed?

Shocked?

Sad/happy?

Watch the arms

Crossed Arms

Hand on face

Check watch

angry/uncomfortable?

tired/bored?

anxious/bored?

Think about if one of these situations has applied to someone you know personally:

- if you know someone who has felt pressure to do something that made them feel uncomfortable.- if you know someone who was asked to share details or photos with another person that were intimate or sexual in nature.- if you have observed a friend being pressured to give physical affection (like kissing) or intimate touching by another person.

Consenting = Just ASK

STI Mythbuster

STI Mythbuster

If you use a condom every time you have sex, you have nothing to worry about.

You can get an STI just from kissing someone.

Once you get an STI, your sex life is over.

Oral Sex is Safe Sex.

You can safely have sex with someone who has an STI that has been treated.

You can get an STI from a used towel or clothing.

Myth OR Fact?

STI Mythbuster

Some STIs can take months or even years to show up.

Chlamydia has to be treated with antibiotics.

If you are in a sexually monogamous relationship, you can’t get an STI.

Only gay men can get HIV

I’m on the pill, or my partner is, so I can’t get an STI.

Virgins cannot have an STI.

Myth OR Fact?

Contraception

Contraception

Hug

CUDDLE

Consent Practicing

HUGGING

Homework Scenario

You are making out with a partner and they try to take off your clothes, but you don't want to go there yet. What might you do?

Discuss what you would do With a Partner

POST SURVEY

STIs that are caused by viruses and bacteria alone cannot be spread through fabrics. This includes syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, hepatitis B, HIV, herpes and HPV; however, crabs (pubic lice) and scabies (caused by burrowing mites) can get trapped in the porous fabric of towels, clothing or bedding and spread from one person to another. These bugs do not survive on hard, non-porous surfaces.

Lily and Annabelle

Lily sets up an online profile with a new photo. Annabelle screenshots the photo and edits it to include several facial blemishes and neon red eyes. She then adds the caption “#1 Class Witch” and sends it to several friends at Lily’s school.

How have the principles of consent been violated here?

• Lily: “This makes me feel…”
• Lily: “This isn’t right. Will you help by…”

Because many infected people don’t know that they carry a sexually transmissible disease, they are unaware of the risk to their partners. It’s important to discuss with your partner both of your sexual histories and the last time you were tested for STIs.

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Although kissing is low-risk compared to penile-vaginal intercourse, anal sex, and oral sex, it is still possible to spread oral (HSV-1) and genital (HSV-2) herpes, HPV, monkeypox and syphilis through deep-mouth kissing alone. That’s because these infections are spread through infected skin-to-skin contact and/or saliva.

Even if you never engage in penetrative sex, there is still some risk of contracting an STI. For example, HPV can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact (including deep-mouth kissing, genital-genital rubbing, oral sex and other skin-genital contacts). It is also possible to spread oral (HSV-1) and genital (HSV-2) herpes and syphilis through deep-mouth kissing. HIV, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and hepatitis B and C can be passed from mother to baby during pregnancy and birth. Some STIs can be contracted by ingesting the breastmilk of an infected person.

Tim and Jerry

Tim and Jerry have been spending a lot of time together this month. Last week when they were walking home, Jerry kept “accidentally” bumping into Tim’s arm. Tim didn’t seem to get the message, so Jerry quietly said, “Tim, my hands are cold.” Tim finally seemed to get the idea, took Jerry’s hand in his, and asked, “There, is this better?” Jerry smiled and replied, “Yeah, much better.” Today while watching the school play, Tim took Jerry’s hand and held it for a few moments until Jerry abruptly pulled her hand away. Jerry didn’t say anything and kept watching the play. Tim later decided to place his arm around Jerry’s shoulder, but Jerry shook it off and gave him a small frown before looking back to the stage. Tim chose to sit quietly through the rest of the play.

How did Tim and Jerry do at practicing consent? What can they do to continue to improve?

• “Can we talk about this for a minute?”
• “It’s important to me that we are on the same page about this…”

• “What are you trying to communicate by…”

Consistent and proper external (penile) condom use is very effective in preventing the spread of HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and trichomoniasis. But, there are other infections that can be contracted even with proper condom use. These include HPV, herpes, syphilis and chancroid, monkeypox, crabs and scabies and molluscum contagiosum, which spread through contact with mucosal surfaces/secretions or affected skin, which can be outside of the surface area of a condom. That’s one reason why HPV is the most common STI in the U.S., followed by herpes.

An STI can take days, weeks, months, or even years to show any physical symptoms, and many people with an STI never experience any symptoms, or the signs are so mild the infection goes undiagnosed (like syphilis, which can become latent). Getting tested and retested after a period of months is the only way to get accurate results. Every time you get tested, ensure you know exactly which viruses and bacterial infections you are being screened for. Don’t assume that your health care provider who submits the lab request nor the clinic where your blood is drawn will automatically test you for every possible STI. Currently, no blood or urine tests are available to detect HPV in males. Testing females for HPV requires a pap smear (via vaginal examination).

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Cara and Patrick

Cara is at party when Patrick approaches her and starts a conversation. He doesn’t seem quite himself and Cara is certain she can smell alcohol on his breath. She feels uncomfortable and turns to leave. Patrick firmly grabs her arm and says, “C’mon Cara, you are always playing hard to get. I deserve to get a least one chance with you.”

How did using substances/alcohol impact consent? How could Cara get out of this situation?

• Cara: “I am not okay with this. Stop it right now!”

• Cara/Patrick: “This is wrong because…”

If your partner tests positive for syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia or trichomoniasis, they can effectively treat the condition with medication, then resume sexual contact once the infection has cleared. If your partner has herpes (HSV1 or HSV2), they can take a daily antiviral medication to reduce the frequency of their outbreaks and lower the risk of spreading the virus to you, even when the virus goes dormant (shows no symptoms). Avoid sexual or intimate contact with a partner when they are experiencing an outbreak of genital warts or herpes lesions on the genitals or mouth. During outbreaks, STIs are more contagious. If your partner has HIV, they can take an antiretroviral (ART) medication to make the virus undetectable in their blood, making the infection untransmittable (unable to be transmitted). In addition, you can take a pre-exposure prophylaxis medication (PrEP) to reduce the risk of infection significantly. You and your partner can use condoms properly and consistently to reduce your risk of contracting HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and trichomoniasis. Everyone eligible should get vaccinated against HPV.

Many STIs are curable, and their transmission to others is preventable with proper vaccination and medical care. Following a professional diagnosis, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and trichomoniasis can be cured with antibiotics, and hepatitis C can be cured with antivirals. Other STIs (like hepatitis B, HIV, herpes and HPV) have no cure, but treatments are available to reduce the symptoms and the frequency of outbreaks and to help prevent the spread to partners. Antivirals, PEP/PrEP, and vaccines are all examples of treatments and prevention that are effective for STIs.

The contraceptive pill, when taken correctly, can prevent pregnancy, however, it does not protect against STIs. From gonorrhoea to chlamydia, syphilis and HIV, if you want to protect yourself from STIs while also preventing pregnancy, the most effective way is to also use a condom each time you have oral, anal or vaginal sex.

Because some STIs spread through contact with mucosal surfaces/secretions, affected skin, and/or saliva, both males and females can contract an STI by giving or receiving oral sex. In addition, genital herpes can spread to the mouth, and oral herpes can spread to the genitals through oral sex. HPV can spread from the genitals to the mouth, which increases the risk of developing genital or oral warts and cancers of the back of the throat, the base of the tongue and the tonsils. Using male and/or female condoms as a physical barrier during oral sex can reduce this exposure and lower the risk of transmission.

It is very unlikely that your immune system will be able to cure chlamydia on its own. If it’s detected early enough, chlamydia can be treated with antibiotics. Without treatment, chlamydia can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) in women –which can cause fever, pain in the lower abdomen, difficulty in becoming pregnant, and higher risk of ectopic pregnancy – and swollen and sore testes in men too.

HIV can affect anyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation. If you’re having sex without a condom, not taking Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) medication and the person you’re having sex with has HIV, there’s a chance you could acquire HIV too. ‘Undetectable equals untransmissible’, or U=U, refers to the fact that people living with HIV who take antiretroviral therapy for HIV daily as prescribed, and who achieve and maintain an undetectable viral load, cannot sexually transmit the virus to another person. HIV cannot be transmitted through saliva, sweat, tears, mucous, vomit, urine or faeces and you cannot catch HIV from kissing, hugging, sharing eating utensils, shaking hands or any other everyday social contact. There is no need to be scared of a person living with HIV.