CYAF 380 Final Project👩🏫 Grace Baue
Joining
Empathy
Introductions
Engagement
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+ info
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Goals
Asking Questions
Boundaries
Bowen's Theory
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+ info
+ info
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Joining
Home Page
Joining is an extremely important part of meeting that can easily be overlooked. This is the chance to build a connection with parents and grow their trust in you. Asking specific questions can also give you more insight and answers in a unique way instead of losing trust and asking them upfront.
Here are some questions I would ask Julia and what I am looking for in them:
- "How was your weekend? "
- This question is asked solely to make them feel more comfortable and cared about. Rather than asking them "How are you?" when you will typically get an ingenuine response because that's just human nature!
- "Does John have any siblings?"
- This question is also part of getting them comfortable but it will also tell me if John has other children at home he is interacting with daily or if it is just John and adults in the picture. If siblings are present, I would follow it up with "What do John and his siblings like to do in their free time?" This can tell me if John is playful with other children or likes to keep to himself.
- "Can you walk me through a typical day at your house? "
- This question will give me information about how John, his mother, siblings, aunts, or cousins interact with each other. This will tell me if there is a lot of togetherness (Healthy or unhealthy) in this household or if individuality takes over.
- "You had mentioned you are living with your sister, how has that been? Are you two close?"
- This gives me more insight into the household dynamic. It also can give me a look at any generational patterns. For example, if John sticks to himself and doesn't engage with siblings/cousins and his mom doesn't engage much with her sister, that is an example of a generational pattern.
More info
Engagement
Engagement is when the issue or concern at hand is brought up. This is when the parent shows investment in me helping them with the issues. There are two stages of change and we want the parents to be in the 2nd Order Change.
2nd Order Change
1st Order Change
- The parent wants a meaningful change to happen
- Full recognition and accountability for what they need to do to foster this change
- wholeheartedly invested in this change
- Thinking about what else they can do to support this change
- The parent is agreeing just to end the conversation
- The parent doesn't fully believe there is a problem
- The parent doesn't think it is their fault
I will know Julia is in the 2nd Order Change category when I ask her questions like "What can we both do moving forward to support this change at home and in the classroom?" and "How can I best support John in the classroom?" This gives Julia the opportunity to voice her opinions and gives her a say in the matter. This will also show me if she is really engaged with the conversation and in the 2nd order change. If she is using change talk phrases like "I want" "I can" "I will" and "The reasons are". This shows that they are really thinking about this personally and wanting to initiate change.
Empathy
Empathy is extremely important when it comes to gaining trust and engagement from a parent. Empathy is thinking about why the parent and child could be in this situation. It is putting yourself in their shoes. If I were to just think John acts out because his mom doesn't spend enough time with him, I could be completely missing out on her cry for help and needing advice. She could be more than willing and wanting to help her son but if I am not empathetic and understanding of her situation, I will just assume incorrectly. For example, the language barrier is a huge thing Julia and John could be struggling with, and with an empathetic lens, I can see that this could hold Julia back from getting help and John from making friends. Maybe John wants to join in on games with classmates but cannot communicate that so he tries to interrupt the only way he knows how. Maybe, John doesn't answer in class because he doesn't want to be wrong or he doesn't know how to communicate his thoughts in English. If teachers do not take the time to deeply understand where students and parents are coming from, we are not only missing out on a large part of who they are but also potentially the reasons they are acting a certain way in the first place. There are three parts to comprehensive empathy. The first one is emotional empathy which is having a parent share their feelings with me or vice versa. Next is cognitive empathy which is understanding how the parent might feel or what they could be thinking in that moment. The last one is empathic concern which is what moves us to take action. We want to help our students and their families as much as we can and this is what drives us to do so. When these three forms are utilized, we can make life-changing changes in students' lives. Acknowledging the parent's feelings is also a huge part of forming a connection. Using statements like "I would be upset too", "I hear you", or "That sounds like a frightening situation. I would feel the same way". These statements make the parent feel understood and seen which makes them more likely to open up more or buy into the process of helping their student.
Asking Questions
Many of the questions I would ask are on the joining page but there are other more specific questions I could ask while meeting with Julia.
How can I help decrease anxiety in your familys' life?
- This shows Julia that I am truly here to help her and her family. If certain things at home help John feel calm and safe that I can carry over into the classroom, Julia is given the space to share that with me. This could be having an interpreter with him or just taking more one-on-one time with the student. This also leaves the question open for ways I can help Julia. This can be connecting her to other resources or just keeping an open line of communication.
Have you seen any changes in John recently? Maybe since moving?
- This is a difficult area to ask around as Julia is separated from John's father due to abuse. I do not want to trigger her or lose trust in her by asking super straightforward questions so asking vague questions allows Julia to take control of how close she gets to certain subjects.
- Learning about the relationship between John and his father in previous years as well as his parent's relationships and how that affected him can tell me a lot about their generational structure. It can also show me if there is anxiety to strong emotions that need to be worked through.
- If John is left with anxiety due to lower differentiation of self, that is important to know moving forward.
What ways would you like me to help John work through emotions or difficulties? If I were to go over healthy emotion management skills, how do you think John would react?
- This question also gives Julia a sense of control in her son's life when there might not be a lot of that currently. I am also showing her that I care about John's emotional well-being and not just his educational successes. This can support her in opening up more in the future. The second part is a reflexive question that gives Julia autonomy in how we move forward.
Goals
SMART Goals are what I will utilize in my classroom. This stands for Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Result-Oriented, and Time-bound.
A SMART Goal I would make with Julia could be to work on emotional coping skills with John in the classroom and at home to promote enhanced reasoning and togetherness. This goal could also include increasing communication about emotions which would help with his relationships at home and school. John can work through this with a counselor and an interpreter if needed at school if John and Julia are comfortable with that. We can hope to have this goal achieved by the end of the quarter or semester depending on what Julia thinks is manageable. This hits all of the requirements for the goal to be SMART. As long as Julia, John, and I agree on the components of it, I think the goal is a great one.
Boundaries
Boundaries are extremely important when it comes to working with students and families. It is important to show the families you care but not to the point your own mental health or life gets put on pause. The following are boundaries I need to hold and how I will do so.
Time
- I can offer 30 minutes to an hour of my time after school a few days a week if John and Julia need to come in and review our goals and check in on how it is going. I am only allowing that amount of time as a way to prevent putting my life on pause or getting burnt out.
Parent - Teacher Communication will be done through school contact
John will go to the School Counselor for help during the school day
- Another boundary I have is not using my personal phone number for communication with parents My school email and phone number are always open for communication! This is a boundary to help both of us be comfortable and as a way to include the administration in this process.
- Although I am always here to help John, there are around 20 other students in the classroom. The counselor will be more than willing to work with John and help him. I will be here for the previously mentioned time after school but during the day, heavier and more time-consuming help will be given to the counselor.
- If John needs something from me specifically, I am always here for him.
Bowen's Theory
This theory was founded by a psychiatrist Murray Bowen. Bowen's Theory is built on the idea that families are emotional units. Our family shapes our values and experiences and they can be passed down from generation to generation. This theory states that issues can be a reflection of something happening at home. The main part of this theory is that it is a balance of togetherness as well as individuality. When they are out of balance it can be unhealthy and cause tension resulting in anxiety. The goal of this theory is to limit chronic anxiety within the family structure and stop it from being passed down. Using this theory in the classroom means learning about students' families and how they interact with each other at home.
Introduction
This student is struggling to play with other students and communicate his answers in class. The student has a language barrier that may result in these issues. There may also be emotional struggles due to the home life that the mother has shared beforehand. I want to meet with Julia because I want to be able to help John and Julia be the best they can be. I want to be able to truly help them and to do that I need to know what their side of the story is. Without meeting with them, I can only assume why John is acting the way he is. After meeting with them I will hopefully have a better connection and understanding with this student and his family and home life.
Teacher's study guide
Grace Baue
Created on December 11, 2023
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Transcript
CYAF 380 Final Project👩🏫 Grace Baue
Joining
Empathy
Introductions
Engagement
+ info
+ info
+ info
+ info
Goals
Asking Questions
Boundaries
Bowen's Theory
+ info
+ info
+ info
+ info
Joining
Home Page
Joining is an extremely important part of meeting that can easily be overlooked. This is the chance to build a connection with parents and grow their trust in you. Asking specific questions can also give you more insight and answers in a unique way instead of losing trust and asking them upfront.
Here are some questions I would ask Julia and what I am looking for in them:
More info
Engagement
Engagement is when the issue or concern at hand is brought up. This is when the parent shows investment in me helping them with the issues. There are two stages of change and we want the parents to be in the 2nd Order Change.
2nd Order Change
1st Order Change
I will know Julia is in the 2nd Order Change category when I ask her questions like "What can we both do moving forward to support this change at home and in the classroom?" and "How can I best support John in the classroom?" This gives Julia the opportunity to voice her opinions and gives her a say in the matter. This will also show me if she is really engaged with the conversation and in the 2nd order change. If she is using change talk phrases like "I want" "I can" "I will" and "The reasons are". This shows that they are really thinking about this personally and wanting to initiate change.
Empathy
Empathy is extremely important when it comes to gaining trust and engagement from a parent. Empathy is thinking about why the parent and child could be in this situation. It is putting yourself in their shoes. If I were to just think John acts out because his mom doesn't spend enough time with him, I could be completely missing out on her cry for help and needing advice. She could be more than willing and wanting to help her son but if I am not empathetic and understanding of her situation, I will just assume incorrectly. For example, the language barrier is a huge thing Julia and John could be struggling with, and with an empathetic lens, I can see that this could hold Julia back from getting help and John from making friends. Maybe John wants to join in on games with classmates but cannot communicate that so he tries to interrupt the only way he knows how. Maybe, John doesn't answer in class because he doesn't want to be wrong or he doesn't know how to communicate his thoughts in English. If teachers do not take the time to deeply understand where students and parents are coming from, we are not only missing out on a large part of who they are but also potentially the reasons they are acting a certain way in the first place. There are three parts to comprehensive empathy. The first one is emotional empathy which is having a parent share their feelings with me or vice versa. Next is cognitive empathy which is understanding how the parent might feel or what they could be thinking in that moment. The last one is empathic concern which is what moves us to take action. We want to help our students and their families as much as we can and this is what drives us to do so. When these three forms are utilized, we can make life-changing changes in students' lives. Acknowledging the parent's feelings is also a huge part of forming a connection. Using statements like "I would be upset too", "I hear you", or "That sounds like a frightening situation. I would feel the same way". These statements make the parent feel understood and seen which makes them more likely to open up more or buy into the process of helping their student.
Asking Questions
Many of the questions I would ask are on the joining page but there are other more specific questions I could ask while meeting with Julia.
How can I help decrease anxiety in your familys' life?
Have you seen any changes in John recently? Maybe since moving?
What ways would you like me to help John work through emotions or difficulties? If I were to go over healthy emotion management skills, how do you think John would react?
Goals
SMART Goals are what I will utilize in my classroom. This stands for Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Result-Oriented, and Time-bound.
A SMART Goal I would make with Julia could be to work on emotional coping skills with John in the classroom and at home to promote enhanced reasoning and togetherness. This goal could also include increasing communication about emotions which would help with his relationships at home and school. John can work through this with a counselor and an interpreter if needed at school if John and Julia are comfortable with that. We can hope to have this goal achieved by the end of the quarter or semester depending on what Julia thinks is manageable. This hits all of the requirements for the goal to be SMART. As long as Julia, John, and I agree on the components of it, I think the goal is a great one.
Boundaries
Boundaries are extremely important when it comes to working with students and families. It is important to show the families you care but not to the point your own mental health or life gets put on pause. The following are boundaries I need to hold and how I will do so.
Time
Parent - Teacher Communication will be done through school contact
John will go to the School Counselor for help during the school day
Bowen's Theory
This theory was founded by a psychiatrist Murray Bowen. Bowen's Theory is built on the idea that families are emotional units. Our family shapes our values and experiences and they can be passed down from generation to generation. This theory states that issues can be a reflection of something happening at home. The main part of this theory is that it is a balance of togetherness as well as individuality. When they are out of balance it can be unhealthy and cause tension resulting in anxiety. The goal of this theory is to limit chronic anxiety within the family structure and stop it from being passed down. Using this theory in the classroom means learning about students' families and how they interact with each other at home.
Introduction
This student is struggling to play with other students and communicate his answers in class. The student has a language barrier that may result in these issues. There may also be emotional struggles due to the home life that the mother has shared beforehand. I want to meet with Julia because I want to be able to help John and Julia be the best they can be. I want to be able to truly help them and to do that I need to know what their side of the story is. Without meeting with them, I can only assume why John is acting the way he is. After meeting with them I will hopefully have a better connection and understanding with this student and his family and home life.