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EI Components
Michael White
Created on October 24, 2023
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Transcript
Components of Emotional Intelligence
Self- Awareness
Self- Management
Social Awareness
Relationship Management
Self-Awareness
Improving Self-Awareness
Regular Introspection
Mindfulness Techniques
Seeking Feedback
- Reflect on actions, decisions, feelings through journaling, meditation, or simply setting time aside to think
- Pause and assess your emotional state to help understand why you feel a certain why and how emotions influence your actions
- Actively seek constructive criticism from trusted colleagues, friends, and mentors
- Accept constructive feedback without immediate defensiveness - recognize that there's room for improvement and take action on it
- Be present and fully engaged in the moment. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings without distraction or judgment
- Practice basic mindfulness exercises like focused breathing or meditation
Self-Management
- Self-management is the ability to control impulsive feelings, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, and follow through on commitments
- You know your strengths, weaknesses, and have self-confidence
Improving Self-Management
Emotional Anchoring
Delayed Gratification Techniques
Behavioral Feedback Loops
- Resist immediate rewards for long-term gains to develop patience and long-term vision
- Practice the "10-10-10 rule" - consider the consequences of a decision in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years
- Create a mental "anchor" or positive emotional state that you can return to when feeling stressed or overwhelmed
- Identify a memory that brings you peace or happiness. When faced with stress, close your eyes for a moment and mentally "anchor" yourself to the positive state
- Monitor the outcomes of your behavior and make necessary adjustments
- After reacting in a stressful situation, take time to evaluate the results. Was your reaction helpful or harmful? Use this evaluation to inform your future behavior
Social Awareness
Social Awareness
Intent vs. Impact
- Understanding the Gap
- High EI involves recognizing that intent does not always translate into impact. Your actions and words may affect people differently than you intended
- Perception Matters
- People respond based on how they perceive your behavior, not how you think they should perceive it
- Clear Communication
- Be mindful to clearly communicate your intent and provide additional context if needed. This minimizes misunderstandings
- Self-Awareness and Empathy
- Knowing how your actions are received is crucial to ensure you're not causing offense. Likewise, be patient and understanding of others, who may also have a gap between intent and impact
Improving Social Awareness
Empathetic Listening
Observational Skills
Asking Open-Ended Questions
- Watch body language, facial expressions, and other non-verbal cues to help understand what someone is feeling or thinking
- Try making a habit of focusing on non-verbal cues when conversing - Practice observing in various settings to understand different emotional signals
- Beyond just hearing words, understanding the emotions and intentions behind them
- Refer to the other person’s words (restate and paraphrase), ask questions, and clarify comments as needed
- Ask questions that can't be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no' to encourage full, meaningful answers
- Ask “How did you feel about that?” or “What are your thoughts on this issue?” rather than, “Are you okay with that?” to help you dig deeper into what the other person is experiencing or feeling
Relationship Management
- Relationship Management refers to the ability to maintain and cultivate relationships by managing emotions - both your own and those of others
- It can help inspire others, manage conflicts, and foster teamwork
Improving Relationship Management
Building and Maintaining Trust
Active Listening and Feedback
Conflict Resolution Skills
- Truly hear what the other person is saying and absorb it to help provide constructive feedback
- Practice ‘reflective listening’: Paraphrase what you’ve heard to confirm understanding
- Offer timely and constructive feedback, ensuring it’s specific, actionable, and positive where appropriate
- Establish and maintain reliability and integrity in your professional relationships
- Keep your commitments and be reliable. Have open and transparent communication with your colleagues to foster collaboration and success
- When a disagreement occurs, address it head-on but tactfully, aiming to understand the other person’s point of view before proposing a solution. Focus on the issue, not the person
- Know when to hold yourself accountable. Admit to mistakes and face consequences, rather than blame others