guilty pleasures

ranking my guilty pleasures throughout the years

#scandy

it ain't that serious

Don't @me... No judging, but feel free to assess!

Smite (it's a video game)

It's so simple...

+ rules

Porn 🫢

Lol oops, teehee You're all guilty too...

5 minute crafts

- There is something oddly therapeutic about watching someone hot glue two hot dogs to the ends of a shoe lace to create a walkie talkie. - Only when you’re in a pinch, of course...

Gacha Game #1 (and #2) 👾

Realize you spent 40 hours on this game in one week

Become one of the top 100 players in the world

Reasses your life

Start playing

Try super hard

Join a clan

Rise through the ranks

Think you're hot shit

And over $420...

Delete the app, never to return

In an attempt to feel something....

Repeatedly escaping the country... ✈️

"It turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself." - Lana Del Rey

Long walks at night alone because I’m a man 🚶‍♂️

Telling my manager that we were out of something even though we weren’t 🤪

- This was just plain malicious Process: - Tell them we were out of a certain beer or food - We weren't out of it though... - Watch them go crazy as they slowly realize we were never out of it - No, this did not cause food waste. I made sure of it. - I only did this to managers who were unnecessarily bitchy

Hearing that my exes got a new boo thing, and immediately checking their socials to make sure they’re not hotter than me 💅

- I don’t know what they expected - “He must be a great communicator or something, because that haircut is not it.”

Listening to Padam Padam by Kylie Minogue at least 3 times a day 🤠

Don't @me...

Giving bitchy / ungrateful clients unnecessary tasks to do to just so they’ll shut the fuck up 🗣️

- Isn’t that bad - Makes them feel more involved - Things go faster - I only do this when they start to get bitchy - You all know the client I’m talking about...

What are YOUR guilty pleasures? 🤔

Don’t @me

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• Take a breath and realize you're not shit and everyone else is better than you

• There's a ranked mode which is absolutely hell on earth
• Don't try it
• Then try it, despite the warnings
• Do kinda decent
• Think you're hot shit
• Then lose all your rankings
• Curse at people on the internet
• Go back to playing casual
• Remember you still ain't shit
• Even after playing for 10+ years...
• There are multiple ways to play each role and each class
• Don't stress yourself out
• Get used to people calling you bad
• Even if you aren't, and they're actually bad
• Shit happens
• Maximize your gold farming
• Maximize your xp farming
• DO NOT FEED THE ENEMY

Smite Basics ✍️

OBJECTIVE: Destroy the enemy titan

• You play as a god from different pantheons
• Minions help you
• You have to kill the enemy minions though
• Kill other gods
• Don't get killed though
• You have to destroy the enemy towers and phoenixes first
• But make sure you don't lose your towers and phoenixes though...
• You have to build items as you level up and get gold, too
• There are a couple hundred items to choose from
• There are a few classes to choose from
• Like Guardian, Assassin, Hunter, Warrior, and Mage
• There are also different roles within the game, but not all of them match up to each type of role
• OPTIMIZATION IS A MUST
• If you don't you'll fall behind