Pause and communicate that you've heard the person’s story. Offer some initial reactions or gratitude for their openness to share with you.
“Thank you for sharing that – I didn’t know that about you before.”
Back
Say something you heard back to the person, word for word. This helps them feel heard and gives them the chance to clarify what they said.
Person 1: “Sometimes I also worry about the safety of my family due to these policies.”
Person 2: “It sounds like you’re worried about the safety of your family.”
Back
This skill is similar to mirroring, but instead, it requires you to read between the lines for values and feelings that you heard.
Person 1: “It’s scary to imagine a world where no one can have access to a gun.”
Person 2: “It sounds like the safety and security of your family, and your freedom to make choices to protect yourselves, are all really important to you.”
Back
This means stepping into another person’s worldview and expressing your empathy with the feelings they shared. Even if you don’t feel the same way about those specific things, you can identify with the feelings themselves.
“That sounds like it was a really difficult experience... I can understand why this issue makes you frustrated”
How to Respond
Nate Stell
Created on May 2, 2023
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Transcript
Acknowledge
Mirror
Restate Values and Feelings
Empathize
Back
Pause and communicate that you've heard the person’s story. Offer some initial reactions or gratitude for their openness to share with you.- “Thank you for sharing that – I didn’t know that about you before.”
Back
Say something you heard back to the person, word for word. This helps them feel heard and gives them the chance to clarify what they said.- Person 1: “Sometimes I also worry about the safety of my family due to these policies.”
- Person 2: “It sounds like you’re worried about the safety of your family.”
Back
This skill is similar to mirroring, but instead, it requires you to read between the lines for values and feelings that you heard.- Person 1: “It’s scary to imagine a world where no one can have access to a gun.”
- Person 2: “It sounds like the safety and security of your family, and your freedom to make choices to protect yourselves, are all really important to you.”
Back
This means stepping into another person’s worldview and expressing your empathy with the feelings they shared. Even if you don’t feel the same way about those specific things, you can identify with the feelings themselves.- “That sounds like it was a really difficult experience... I can understand why this issue makes you frustrated”