Personal Action Plan
If you leave here today with: 1. An understanding of the significance of vulnerability in leadership2. Two "ideas for action" 3. One vulnerability exercise idea for your organization 4. One vulnerability exervise idea for yourself you will be well on your way to developing an action plan for incorporating The Culture Code into your leadership practice.
Simple questions, deeper emotions
I confess, the one thing I'm not so excited about with this particular opportunity is ______.
The one thing that excites me about this particular opportunity is ______.
On this project, I'd really like to get better at ______.
Beyond empathy. Psychology.
subtle - unassuming - disarms - listening - caring - KNOWS WHAT PEOPLE NEED
Deeper emotions, more concordances
"Marci has connected increases in concordances to increases in perceived empathy: the more concordances occur, the closer the two people feel. What's more, the changes in closeness happen not gradually but all at once...'It's like a breakthrough...'" (157).
"Concordances happen when one person can react in an authentic way to the emotion being projected in the room...It's about understanding in an empathic way, then doing something in terms of gesture, comment, or expression that creates a connection" (155).
Deeper emotions, more concordances
"Marci has connected increases in concordances to increases in perceived empathy: the more concordances occur, the closer the two people feel. What's more, the changes in closeness happen not gradually but all at once...'It's like a breakthrough...'" (157).
"Concordances happen when one person can react in an authentic way to the emotion being projected in the room...It's about understanding in an empathic way, then doing something in terms of gesture, comment, or expression that creates a connection" (155).
Building habits of group vulnerability is like building a muscle. It takes time, repetition, and the willingness to feel pain in order to achieve gains. And as with building muscle, the first key is to approach the process with a plan. With that in mind, here are a few workout ideas, for both individuals and groups.
Ideas for Action (158)
Make sure the leader is vulnerable first and often.
Overcommunicate expectations.
When forming new groups, focus on two critical moments.
Listen like a trampoline.
In conversation, resist the temptation to reflexively add value.
What mantra are you incessantly repeating? Clearly define helping roles and model vulnerability.
Do you add energy, velocity, and altitude when listening? The most effective listeners: "interact in ways that make the other person feel safe and supported," "take a helping, cooperative stance," "occasionally ask questions that gently and constructively challenge old assumptions," and "make occasional suggestions to open up alternative paths." "...gain amplitude through repetition."
How can we signal vulnerability? Laszlo Block recommends: - What is one thing I currently do that you'd like me to continue to do? - What is one thing that I don't currently do...? - What can I do to make you more effective?
Are we about appearing strong or about exploring the landscape together? The first vulnerability The first disagreement These "set the pattern for everything that follows."
How do you keep other people talking? Givechi: "Say more about that."
Deliver the negative stuff in person.
How can we link the act of discipline to the act of reconnection? ..."deals with tension in an up-front, honesty way that avoides misunderstandings and creates shared clarity and connection"
Which of these is most relevant to a leadership challenge you're experiencing right now?
Ideas for Action (158)
Use candor-generating practices like AARs, BrainTrusts, and Red Teaming.
Aim for candor; avoid brutal honesty.
Align language with action.
Build a wall between performance review and professional develpoment.
Make the leader occasionally disappear.
How does the language of your organization reinforce interdependence? Close attention to details like semantics can make a difference! The language of your group should highlight your values of connection and belonging.
How can we balance honesty and safety? Candor = smaller, targeted, less personal, less judgmental
When do you step back? Sometimes teams are better at figuring out what they need to do without the leader.
How can vulnerability make organizations measurably stronger? Questions before, during, and after developing plans/ideas Without leadership involvement, may be more open/honest.
Are you coaching or critiquing? Performance reviews are high-risk situations. Development is supportive.
Embrace the discomfort.
How can we lessen the pain of feeling inefficient? Going back over past actions to examine vulnerability takes time, but is like stretching after exercise. It's needed to ease future pain.
Use flash mentoring.
Which of these is most relevant to a leadership challenge you're experiencing right now?
How could we more effectively use the time we have? Hours long instead of months/years
Personal Action Plan
If you leave here today with: 1. An understanding of the significance of vulnerability in leadership2. Two "ideas for action" 3. One vulnerability exercise idea for your organization 4. One vulnerability exervise idea for yourself you will be well on your way to developing an action plan for incorporating The Culture Code into your leadership practice.
The Culture Code: Skill 2
Margaret Iyengar
Created on April 16, 2023
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Transcript
Personal Action Plan
If you leave here today with: 1. An understanding of the significance of vulnerability in leadership2. Two "ideas for action" 3. One vulnerability exercise idea for your organization 4. One vulnerability exervise idea for yourself you will be well on your way to developing an action plan for incorporating The Culture Code into your leadership practice.
Simple questions, deeper emotions
I confess, the one thing I'm not so excited about with this particular opportunity is ______.
The one thing that excites me about this particular opportunity is ______.
On this project, I'd really like to get better at ______.
Beyond empathy. Psychology.
subtle - unassuming - disarms - listening - caring - KNOWS WHAT PEOPLE NEED
Deeper emotions, more concordances
"Marci has connected increases in concordances to increases in perceived empathy: the more concordances occur, the closer the two people feel. What's more, the changes in closeness happen not gradually but all at once...'It's like a breakthrough...'" (157).
"Concordances happen when one person can react in an authentic way to the emotion being projected in the room...It's about understanding in an empathic way, then doing something in terms of gesture, comment, or expression that creates a connection" (155).
Deeper emotions, more concordances
"Marci has connected increases in concordances to increases in perceived empathy: the more concordances occur, the closer the two people feel. What's more, the changes in closeness happen not gradually but all at once...'It's like a breakthrough...'" (157).
"Concordances happen when one person can react in an authentic way to the emotion being projected in the room...It's about understanding in an empathic way, then doing something in terms of gesture, comment, or expression that creates a connection" (155).
Building habits of group vulnerability is like building a muscle. It takes time, repetition, and the willingness to feel pain in order to achieve gains. And as with building muscle, the first key is to approach the process with a plan. With that in mind, here are a few workout ideas, for both individuals and groups.
Ideas for Action (158)
Make sure the leader is vulnerable first and often.
Overcommunicate expectations.
When forming new groups, focus on two critical moments.
Listen like a trampoline.
In conversation, resist the temptation to reflexively add value.
What mantra are you incessantly repeating? Clearly define helping roles and model vulnerability.
Do you add energy, velocity, and altitude when listening? The most effective listeners: "interact in ways that make the other person feel safe and supported," "take a helping, cooperative stance," "occasionally ask questions that gently and constructively challenge old assumptions," and "make occasional suggestions to open up alternative paths." "...gain amplitude through repetition."
How can we signal vulnerability? Laszlo Block recommends: - What is one thing I currently do that you'd like me to continue to do? - What is one thing that I don't currently do...? - What can I do to make you more effective?
Are we about appearing strong or about exploring the landscape together? The first vulnerability The first disagreement These "set the pattern for everything that follows."
How do you keep other people talking? Givechi: "Say more about that."
Deliver the negative stuff in person.
How can we link the act of discipline to the act of reconnection? ..."deals with tension in an up-front, honesty way that avoides misunderstandings and creates shared clarity and connection"
Which of these is most relevant to a leadership challenge you're experiencing right now?
Ideas for Action (158)
Use candor-generating practices like AARs, BrainTrusts, and Red Teaming.
Aim for candor; avoid brutal honesty.
Align language with action.
Build a wall between performance review and professional develpoment.
Make the leader occasionally disappear.
How does the language of your organization reinforce interdependence? Close attention to details like semantics can make a difference! The language of your group should highlight your values of connection and belonging.
How can we balance honesty and safety? Candor = smaller, targeted, less personal, less judgmental
When do you step back? Sometimes teams are better at figuring out what they need to do without the leader.
How can vulnerability make organizations measurably stronger? Questions before, during, and after developing plans/ideas Without leadership involvement, may be more open/honest.
Are you coaching or critiquing? Performance reviews are high-risk situations. Development is supportive.
Embrace the discomfort.
How can we lessen the pain of feeling inefficient? Going back over past actions to examine vulnerability takes time, but is like stretching after exercise. It's needed to ease future pain.
Use flash mentoring.
Which of these is most relevant to a leadership challenge you're experiencing right now?
How could we more effectively use the time we have? Hours long instead of months/years
Personal Action Plan
If you leave here today with: 1. An understanding of the significance of vulnerability in leadership2. Two "ideas for action" 3. One vulnerability exercise idea for your organization 4. One vulnerability exervise idea for yourself you will be well on your way to developing an action plan for incorporating The Culture Code into your leadership practice.