A Parent's Guide to Trauma Informed Approaches

A Parent's Guide to Trauma-Informed Approaches

Lisa Crowe, EdS - 8th Grade Special Education Supervisor

About Me

Like you, I am a parent of children who attend CCA, both with IEPs, both in high school. I also serve as the 8th grade special education supervisor and I have a deep relationship with trauma. ​ ​ This relationship started with the bond I have with my daughter, who is adopted through the foster care system. She was 13 at formal adoption but has been with us since she was 12 (the last day of 6th grade). Her trauma began around the age of 3 and while I won’t share that directly, I will share that her trauma impacts us daily. She has current diagnoses of Borderline Personality Disorder, Clinical Depression, Generalized Anxiety with Panic Attacks, Attachment Disorder with mixed features, and Complex PTSD. While she does well most of the time, she does struggle emotionally, physically, and behaviorally. As her​ parents, my husband and I are charged to help her cope with the trauma while trying to live her best life the age of 18. Due to her BPD, I am frequently the target of her behaviors because of our close bond. Again, this is hard and impacts me in multiple ways. My entire family is in therapy – individual and family therapy – to gain skills and support through the most difficult of times.

What Today is About

Today we will talk about trauma and how it impacts our children. I would like to review the following:

• What trauma actually is.
• How trauma impacts our brains.
• What you can do to help your learner if they have experienced trauma.
• Questions?

Before we get started... What IS trauma?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA) (2023), "trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event... Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer-term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea."

While these feelings are normal, some people have difficulty moving on with their lives. Psychologists can help them find constructive ways of managing their emotions.

Olivine, A. (2022)

Traumatic events include:

• Child abuse
• Child neglect
• Bullying
• Physical abuse
• Domestic violence
• Community violence
• Natural disasters
• Sexual abuse
• Verbal abuse
• Accidents
• War
• Terrorism
• Grief
• Intergenerational Trauma
• and so much more....

(Olivine, 2022)

Miller, 2021

Trauma and the Brain

Children who have experienced neglect and/or abuse may have interrupted brain development that creates functional impairments. If it is ongoing trauma it can change, not only development, but also mental, emotional, and behavioral health for a lifetime (Child Welfare Information Gateway, n.d.).

• The cerebral cortex is two hemispheres with four lobes (Eid, 2021). The four lobes in the cerebral cortex are responsible for:
• memory
• judgement
• being socially appropriate
• motor tasks
• sense of touch
• positioning the body
• sight
• recognize faces and objects
• holds memory information
• When injured or damaged, a person may experience a struggle with attention, have an increase in taking risks due to the lack of higher order thinking and impulse control (Cherry, 2022), difficulties in writing, mathematics, language disorders, perceptions of objects in a typical way (Centre for Neuro Skills, 2023), vision problems (Maher, 2020), cognitive impairments and emotional and/or behavioral changes, dysfunction of verbal memory, reduced verbal memory, or reduced verbal intelligence (Formisano, et al., 1991).

About the Learning Brain

About the Survival Brain

So how does that help parents of cyber schoolers?

As parents of a cyber school learner, you have a unique position! You spend your day helping your learner while you attend to your own needs within your home. Every day is a new adventure for you and it may look different for all families. If you are attending this session, my guess is you and/or your child have experienced trauma in some way and that probably makes school a little tough sometimes. I can relate! Tips coming up!

1. Be mindful of how you speak to your learner!

• Avoid yelling or raising your voice - it could trigger a traumatic response.
• Fight, flight, or freeze response
• Avoid sarcasm
• Language shuts off in the brain and your learner may not be able to fully understand
• Avoid shaming your learner.
• Sometimes, this just happens, not on purpose, but we make kids feel bad about what they do (you're a human after all)!
• Teach your learner how to make positive choices instead - give options and consequences and make them responsible. It removes shame and makes it a positive lesson while allowing them to save face and gain small (and reasonable) amounts of control.

2. Be mindful of your learner's space.

• Do they need to learn how to regulate their emotions?
• Create a cozy space where they can be close but calm down with help if needed.
• What do they need to do their best in school?
• Organization can help since trauma creates disorganization in the brain - help them make space for the tools they need on a daily basis.
• Post a general schedule so they know consistency or better yet how to check their Edio calendar independently each day so they can have control of their day!

3. Take care of YOU!

• You can't be your best if there is no self-care.
• There's a saying about putting your oxygen mask on before helping others - if you can't take the moment to ensure you are okay, you really CANNOT help others!
• We all have needs in life, sometimes we have to take care of our own.
• Stay grounded in the storm.
• Trauma in children can look like a lot of behavior or emotions - it's hard for everyone!
• In brain talk, this means stay in the "upstairs brain" and think, have empathy, and take control of your body to help soothe your learner's "downstairs brain" that feels out of control.
• It's okay to stop talking, pause, and breathe...
• "Between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space lies our power and our freedom." ~Viktor Frankl
• This may sound like a luxury in the moment, but really, stop for that deep breath, find your power to speak calmly while staying "upstairs."