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People who have never interacted with a person who has a mental or physical disability may think of the exchange as intimidating or nerve-wracking. They might worry what to talk about or how to avoid staring. These concerns are understandable, but it’s important to realize people with disabilities should be treated the same as everyone else.

A GUIDE TO INTERACTING WITH

PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES

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Tip 1 · Ask before giving assistance

Just because someone has a disability, do not assume they need help. Do not give assistance without asking first if they want it. You can ask if the person would like help, but don’t ask repeatedly or qualify their response with “are you sure?” Respect someone’s choice even if it looks like they’re struggling. If there is a dangerous situation, help just as you would help someone without a disability.

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Tip 2 · Speak to the person

Speak to the person before his or her caregiver. It's the respectful thing to do. Someone with a distorted figure or speech impediment as a result of a physical disability is often ignored because people assume he or she has a mental disability and won’t understand. By approaching the caregiver first, the person with the disability assumes you see him or her as unequal or incapable; it damages the relationship immediately.

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Tip 3 · Adjust posture to eye-level

The height difference between people in wheelchairs and able-bodies can create an unspoken feeling of superiority and inferiority. Finding a table to sit at is a great option because it can eliminate any visible differences, such as a wheelchair. Sitting in a chair (with or without a table) is also better than kneeling, which may cause the person in a wheelchair to feel like a child.

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Tip 4 · Do not victimize people with disabilities

Referring to someone as a “spinal cord injury victim,” or “cerebral palsy victim,” takes away that person’s power. It abdicates them of their strength and ability to overcome because the emphasis is on what happened to them, as opposed to what they did about it. It would be more appropriate to refer to someone with a disability as a “survivor.”

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Tip 5 · Don’t assume they see their disability as a tragedy

Many people with disabilities have worked through the tough emotions to be happy and content with their lives. A seemingly harmless statement like, “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” or something of that nature can make a person with a disability feel sad and sorry.

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Tip 6 · Be aware of personal space

A person’s mobility equipment, such as a wheelchair, scooter or cane, is part of their personal space. Do not touch or move it without permission, even if someone puts it down or chooses to leave it somewhere. Leaning on someone’s wheelchair is like leaning on their shoulder. Putting something in someone’s carry basket is like putting something in their backpack.

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Sources: https://www.respectability.org/inclusion-toolkits/etiquette-interacting-with-people-with-disabilities/ https://www.vantagemobility.com/blog/disability-etiquette-dos-and-donts

Tip 7 · Listen attentively

Listen attentively when you are talking with a person who has difficulty speaking. Be patient and wait for the person to finish, rather than correcting or speaking for the person. If necessary, ask short or close-ended questions that require short answers, a nod or shake of the head. Never pretend to understand if you are having difficulty doing so. Instead, repeat what you have understood and allow the person to respond.

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