DESL-erasmus-integration

Erasmus

Integration

START

START

You: Hello, err, you are Ulf, right?

You: Excuse me, I'm looking for someone called Ulf Storigson.

Ulf: Yes I'm Ulf, are you my partner?

Yes, I'm Alex nice to meet you

Exactly

Take a seat, I started early. I'll show you where I'm at in the work

You're going straight to the point, aren't you?

Erm, ok...

Yes, is that a problem?

No, I just thought we would get to know each other a little before diving right in you know?

Oh yes, sorry, I've got my head in the game, and I'm a bit shy.Well I'm Ulf, from Germany. There isn't a lot to say about me. I work a lot. I really need to ace my exams, sorry.

I'm working on the English essay. Are you doing well in English?

Well, my mom forced me to read tons of books when I was little to make me practice. When I was able to read English, I also started to read books in English, so... I'm ok. Speaking is harder though.

I'm ok. Speaking is harder though

Ah, tell me about it!

Well I see you are in a hurry. Maybe we can talk tonight at the welcome party? I'm not sure I'm going, because I'm shy. But it can be a good time to talk more!

Hey, there is this welcome party tonight, are you going?

Oh no... you won't see me at a party ever...I'm too concerned with my studies too waste time at parties. I don't want to end up an alcoholic or to be distracted from my work, like this guy Vicente.

Well you don't have to drink.

What's the point? Meeting people? To make shallow relationships with shallow people like Laura?

There won't be only shallow people

I understand, I used to move a lot when I was a kid and I felt like making new relationships was pointless. But we can meet some people still, to know who we work with.

Yeah, there is this girl Marta, she works hard, I respect that. But I don't understand why she wastes money and time on these parties.

Hey, we are meeting right now right? We have a common objective, we share responsabilities, it's more serious than what we can get at a party.

I didn't think bringing up the party would make this conversation so intense.It isn't that dramatic you know.

You look very tense, are you ok? Something's wrong?

No, I'm good, sorry. I'm just listening to what my parents say. Focus on your future. Why should I waste my time making relationships while knowing they won't hold after we leave the country? I must have a career. So that's why I need the best academic record. This, at least, will follow me for a long time.Don't you want the same?

Well, that's kind of true, I need to prepare my future. Especially as it's already hard for me with dyslexia, I need to get a good record.

Well, that's kind of true. But I have dyslexia and it doesn't help me with school work, so it would be nice to get to know people outside of uni first.

Wait, you... have dyslexia? Oh... Sorry. Doesn't that make English learning hard? I... (blows air) I'm sorry mate, but as I said, I need the best record possible. I think I'll go. I don't think we can work together on the English essay, sorry. I'll find someone else to work with. You... should do the same. Best of luck.

After being dismissed by Ulf, you decided to go to the party to relax after this event. But also to try to find a new partner...

"Hello, hello! Come in! I see that you are a fashionably late, that's good!"

Oh yeah sorry, I hesitated to come, I spent a lot of time thinking should go or not... that's why I came later.

Yeah well, it's this thing with Ulf, my partner for the English essay, that happended earlier. Or should I say ex-partner. Because he decided to split. It upset me so much, I had to calm down before coming here.

Oh, if you say so ahah.So you are the cool guy, huh?

A bit scared ? Not used to parties?

Oh no, I love parties ahah. I'm the... party beast myself!

Yeaaaah well, not too much. I'm a bit shy.But I'm trying to change that

Yep that's my Vicente. But sometimes he goes too far, right?

Yeah yeah...

Wow wow wow, come on, let's wait a little before going into over-sharing, right? Grab a drink have a bit of fun, heh?

Oh, come on Vicente! Ulf is quite a character indeed. But Vicente's right though, just relax a little, ok? Maybe we'll talk about that later.

Yeah well... who would have thought?Why don't you come with us and play a drinking game then?

Ahah nice, then you are at the right place. I love parties, you'll always see me there! Take it from a party master: it's ok, it's fun, just relax, be who you are eh?

Oh, don't mind Vicente. He's always goofing around.

So, do you know anyone here?

No, that's why I came, I wanted to meet everyone!

I need to find a new working partner for the English essay...

Perfect! Go to the kitchen to get a drink. Lamine is in there right now, he'll help you. He's a bit in the clouds but quite fun.

Oh, that's some serious business. You should ask Lamine, he's a nice guy and he might know about who can pair-up with you for the essay.But please, don't talk too much about work, ok? See you later!

Visit the appartment and talk to other students

Lamine: Hi! What's up? I'm Lamine. Want something to drink? A soft drink or...?

Soft

Not

Ah, a fellow non drinker?

Indeed

Just starting slow

Here you go.It's crazy when you think about it, beer is one of the first biotechnologies ever invented.Some argue it even spurred the beginning of civilization!

We can entertain ourselves and both stay sober then!That's a nice change.

Ah, a person of balance, I like that.

So, you drink?

Do you drink, sometimes?

You like beer?

As a... cultural phenomeon yes hehe

I don't drink.But I love rediscovering the world with people who do!I love the far fetched, philosophical or just hilarious conversations it can create.

But what brought you here?Thirst, entropy or will?

Thirst

Vicente sent me

I wanted to ask you something

Mashallah Well I guess this has been taken care of.

Mashallah Well I guess that would be entropy then.

I'm listening.

I'm looking for a buddy for the English assignment.

Oh, I'm sorry but I think it's a bit late for that.Work teams were settled long ago. But I don't understand, you don't have anyone to work with

I used to, I was supposed to work with Ulf. He freaked out and told me that he wouldn't be working with me anymore.

Ulf supposedly. But I don't want to work with him the guy is crazy.

That reminds me of what Marta said.

Oh, has she said anything about Ulf?

You sound like Laura when she talks about Ulf.

Oh, has she said anything about Ulf?

Well, since I enjoy talking to people who have their tongues loosened by alcohol, I sometimes hear stuff.Laura's concerned about Vicente. She is afraid he parties too much. Ulf criticized him because of it and it upset her.

And Marta, she had a similar experience to yours with Ulf.I don't know the details. I don't want to gossip, and I certainly don't want you to make deductions based on false information. You should ask them yourself.

So what happened between you and Ulf?

I think he puts massive pressure on his shoulders. It was the straw that breaks the camel's back I guess.

I told him I was dyslexic, and he decided I wasn't worth working with.

Not him, his familly.See, Ulf is in the shadow of his very successful siblings...

He talked to you about that?

Did you stalk him on social media or what?

Ah...See, Ulf has a lot of trouble changing and re-evaluating his beliefs. He doesn't have a bad heart, I even feel compassion for him. But he relies too much on the stereotypes and prejudices that his parents served him...

Well I'm in a similar situation with my own familly. It's more religion oriented though.

And what is it like for Ulf?

What do you mean?

Oh no I'm no stalker ahah! I'm actually very cautious about social media. I think in their current state, the benefits are smaller than the harm they can create.

I tried to help him through conversation. But he isn't very open or available.

Well someone should tell him he's a jerk

Well someone should tell him not to listen to his parents blindly.

Let's say they are very strict and a bit conservative about haram stuff.

Hurting someone's ego usually makes things worse.

Delivering a message is not efficient. One must help people question their beliefs, not do it for them.

Since we both have pressure from our families, he's opened up to me a little.

His family created an atmosphere of competition and an unhealthy obsession for merit. He feels that he can only be loved if he brings back good marks or trophies at home.

Let's go back to your original concern.The English assignment is for two students. I'm sorry my friend, but it looks like you'll have to work with Ulf no matter what. You should sort this out with him. Maybe the others who have experience with Ulf can help you, you should talk to them.

Hey Alex, how is it going? I hope everything is perfect.I don't want you to think I'm a bad host right?

It's great, but I need to find a partner for the English essay . Can you help me?.

It's great! But, I wanted to talk to you about Ulf. Is that possible?

Are you sure you want to talk about Ulf?I don't want you to be upset. And I don't want people to see you upset, that would kill the buzz. It's the welcome party, we should be having fun, right?

Well, actually, sorting out this thing with Ulf would relieve me a lot. I'd enjoy the party a lot more.

Yeah, you right, let's have fun!

Hmm sorry I can't. Plus we are here to have fun, we shouldn't be talking about work.Please go get something to eat. I made those myself, if you like them, tell everyone ahah!

Well, I try to be friendly with everyone. But with Ulf, I just can't, you know?I haven't been a good host to him. And I'm not sure I want people to hear about it, sorry.

Ok, never mind then.

Tell me please, it could help me help him.

I think he's beyond help.

That's a harsh thing to say. I'm sure there's something to be done.

Yeah probably.

Sorry, I didn't want to sound so mean. That's not who I am I swear.

Well, I haven't invited Ulf tonight.I have some resentment towards him because of what happened.

I was paired up with Ulf in class the other day. He flipped out when the oral English marks were announced. He spoke badly about Vicente, so I got his back. He said something out of anger and it brought things up...

Is that about the parties?

Is it about your English level?

What? No, I wouldn't be so upset for stupid marks.I'm not like Ulf.

What?! If you know, it means it's already out then? Who told you about it?Is it Marta again?! It will destroy my reputation...

What did Marta say?

No one said anything, we can see that Vicente parties a bit to hard.But I don't judge.

Sorry, it's just, last time I talked about it Marta said something that I can't believe. It made me so mad. I should stop talking about it.

Nothing! Stupid, false things.She is just jealous of me. She is so judgmental!

Hey! What's up?

I wanted to talk to you about Vicente

Well, I'm meeting with people. That's what the welcome parties are for I guess!

Well I'm trying to find a new partner for English.

Oh, what about him?

I was wondering... Maybe he drinks a little too much, doesn't he?I tried to talk to Laura about it, but she got upset.

Apparently you said something about him to Laura and it upset her.

Yeah totally! For me it's a way to clear my head after a long day of work.

Oh yes, Ulf mentioned you study hard. He respects that about you.

You study a lot?

Oh, I think it will be hard to talk about class stuff with people tonight. They want to blow off some steam, and I'm in the same mood! Look, I think it's too late, I'm sorry. I'm not in the mood for this right now.

Yeah, sorry but that is private. I don't really want to talk about it.

Oh, that's so weird. It happened to me too.See, I was talking with Vicente about parties once. I was explaining that sometimes a good party would make me more efficient. I just let go, have some fun and all.

But I can't party too often because of money.Which is actually good, because I don't think you should party too much, you know?

Oh really? Well that's weird.

I try to, but I have to work on the side to pay my rent and all. That takes time.But I need the money for the parties and other stuff.

That's brave

Is it really that hard?

Then, Vicente turned a bit sad and confessed he was doing a bit too much partying.It's not a big deal yet, but I think Laura would like him to slow down a bit. The weird thing is that, he says he does it so Laura stays with him.

I thought that was weird, so I went to Laura and told her about it.She took it really hard, telling me that I shouldn't interfere in her business and that if anyone heard about it, it was going to go badly for me...

She's so concerned about her image and trying to be perfect.I mean look at her, she's following the female social norms like it's a religion. So, if someone talks to her about it, she'll be furious because it will jeopardize her image...

We worked together on an assignment once, but he decided to split.

Really? That's exactly what's just happened to me...

Hey, welcome to the club!

What, he did it again?!

Yeah well, go tell that to Ulf.

What happened?

Oh, don't tell me he split because of that?

Yes, he did!I guess he's done the same thing to you...

Yeah well it is, believe me. I'm so tired sometimes.Actually I'm tired right now. Too tired to talk to you actually.

Why did he split with you?

I have dyslexia. I guess he was scared I would make us fail the assignement.

Oh, I see. His parents told him that they were doing everything to pay for his studies because students who have to work on the side have more chances to fail...It's not wrong, but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's obsessed with succeeding.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Hey Party beast! How are things?

Well, thanks for checking on me Vicente!Actually, I thought I would check on you.

Well, thanks for checking on me Vicente!Actually, I thought maybe you could check on Laura...

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Checking on me? Come on! I'm always all right man!

Well, I think you drink too much Vicente

Well, I heard that Laura was concerned about you. She sounded upset, maybe even angry...

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Laura? What's wrong with her. She okay?

Well, I heard that Laura was concerned about you. She sounded upset, maybe even angry...

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Why?

Well, I think you drink too much Vicente

Apparently you party a bit too hard, and she's getting concerned about it. And you do it so she stays with you?

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

W- wait, what? We barely know each other and you dare come straight to me and tell me I have a drinking problem! What's wrong with you man?!

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Well, that's stupid, I know. But...I feel kind of pressured to do it. It's like, my trademark. I'm the crazy guy who parties hard. If I lose that, I'm afraid Laura will leave me.

That's stupid indeed.

Well, I think that's quite the opposite. I think she would like you to slow down.

You know what, I think you should tell her that. Talk to her about it and sort it out. It's your business. I just wanted to tell you about this situation.Hope I wasn't too rude.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Why?

Apparently you party a bit too hard, and she's getting concerned about it. And you do it so she stays with you?

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

How dare you?! Just get out of my apartment!

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Maybe... I'll think about it, thanks.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

You're right, I'll go talk to her right now.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Hey, sorry I was in the toilet, just right there... I heard everything... oopsies.

Oh...

Oh no, that's terrible

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

Naaah, it's ok. I told you, I am not a gossip person. Except when it is useful. And what I heard was. But you took care of it. While I was waiting in the toilet I took the opportunity to reflect. Vicente's situation reminds me of what can happen with religious communities.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

People maintain behaviours or beliefs to stay in their community. This is much more powerful than personal reflection. Breaking with your faith means risking losing your community and all the social benefits that go with it.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

I admit it's a bit of a stretch, but it got me thinking about Ulf.Ulf's community is mostly his familly. Maybe Ulf needs another social circle, a safety net to be less likely to suffer from family pressure. Something that would let him think twice about what his family tells him.

Well that's.... far fetched indeed.

You though about all that... in... the toilet?

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

I have a rich imagination

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

You know what? I think I will explain all that to Laura. It might help her change her mind on Ulf. She might support him.

His parents told him that they were giving everything for his studies because the students who have to work on the side are struggling... and it's true but it's a bit of a strong reaction. He's really hard core with success... it's obsessive.

I totally get your point. I've seen what the fear of losing your social community can do. I'm going to call Ulf to invite him. It's a bit late, but hell! Let's try to do a real good action for once. I'm not forgiving him, but I'll give him the opportunity to apologize, to explain himself. A second chance, let's say.

Game over

Retry

Well done

You call Ulf with Laura to invite him. He is reluctant at first, but you manage to convince him.

Ulf: I behaved very badly and I'm sorry, I think everyone is mad at me at this party... You: Not at all, Laura herself made the decision to invite you. And you? I've become aware of many things and the pressure your family puts on you. It's not healthy what they do. But there are plenty of people here who are ready to forgive you and try to get to know you better.

Well done

I got a bad mark in English recently, I have to work hard for the next exam. You're under too much pressure, you have to relax. I'm not telling you to become a party animal, but just to give yourself a break, like Marta is doing. I'm scared I'll drink too much, or to become addicted to drinking and all... No one is forcing you to drink, look at Lamine. Vicente has shared his fears with Laura, no one will blame you for going easy. Apart from work I have nothing interesting to say, I'll bore people. Lamine is curious and has things to share with you. Ok ok.. you won, I'm coming.