trust god always: A Testimony
Merlina' Testimony
BEfore ChRIST
My life before I put trust into my religion
"I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. I studied under Gamaliel and was thoroughly trained in the law of our ancestors. I was just as zealous for God as any of you are today. I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison, as the high priest and all the Council can themselves testify. I even obtained letters from them to their associates in Damascus and went there to bring these people as prisoners to Jerusalem to be punished."~Acts 22: 3-5
I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. Haitian American to the bone. I have two sisters, both of whom are younger than me. My entire immediate family is Christian, so attending church on Sunday was a habit or a custom for us. I also attended Catholic school for a significant chunk of my childhood. Life occurred, and things were pretty terrible for us at one time; we went broke, and it was simply rough, really rough. I determined in late middle school, maybe 6th or 7th grade, that I didn't want anything to do with God just because of how things were looking for my family and me. My extremely religious grandma never gave up hope, she constantly prayed and, nothing, nada, niche, we were still going through misery so then and there I was done.
In the middle of everything going on at home, things at school weren't going so well. Fast forward to a time when I was depressed and suicidal. I was very much giving I needed to be checked into a hospital. I wouldn't eat, I couldn't concentrate in school, and I cried all the time. It was truly a nightmare. I confided in my grandma about how I was feeling (not the suicide part chile, I ain't told a soul in my family). She advised me to pray since only God could assist me. She also resolved to fasting and praying to assist me. Given that I hadn't talked to God and didn't even know how to pray, you can imagine how difficult it was for me to seek God's aid because I knew I had offended Him with my lifestyle. Of course, I never committed suicide, but that week God made it clear that I needed a relationship with Him.
Conversion
Putting in the work, and devoting my life
"A man named Ananias came to see me. He was a devout observer of the law and highly respected by all the Jews living there. He stood beside me and said, ‘Brother Saul, receive your sight!’ And at that very moment, I was able to see him.“Then he said: ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard. And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’"~Acts 22: 6-16
After all of this, I determined to learn more about God and returned to my origins. I began praying more, reading the Bible, and just talking to my grandmother. She explained to me that the Bible is God's message to us, which was essentially a reiteration of what I had learned in Catholic school and throughout my church attendance. Reading the Bible reminded me of things I had forgotten about. God created us to follow his plan and have a healthy connection with him. He did, however, give us the option of following His plan or ours. We choose ours via sin, and sin separates us from Him. Of course, God still loves us and sent his only son, Jesus, to die for our sins. He assures us that we can only have a connection with God if we believe in him. I didn't want to face this reality. For months, I tried my utmost to do good things to gain the right to know God, but I failed every time. I just gave up one day while fasting (not food, but profanity), I was suffering so much and felt like a failure. Then, as if God had come down and touched me, I realized that He didn't care what I could accomplish for Him. He still loved me. I eventually confessed to God in prayer that I was a sinner who couldn't save myself. I let Jesus into my life so that I could begin living for him.
Life with God
Doing my best on my path and not giving up
"Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."~Revelation 12: 10-11
My eyes have been awakened and I perceive Jesus' presence everywhere since I asked Jesus to take control of my life. Every day, God provides me the ability to repent of my wrongdoing. I'm not perfect, but I'm a very different person today. I no longer put my faith in my own abilities since I know God will provide for me. I trust in Jesus and tell others about Him because of all the joy He’s given me. Please understand that, as I already stated, I am not perfect. I still do things I'm not meant to do, such as smoking, drinking, skipping prayers, I still cuss to this day, and even going days without touching my bible. I am a work in progress, but trust, I am trying, and that's all that counts to me: not giving up and constantly placing one foot in front of the other on the path he's set me on.
Thanks!
The One and Only Merlina! All done by moi!
Honestly and truly, thank you for taking the time to read though my testimony!
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Merlina
Created on November 19, 2021
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Transcript
trust god always: A Testimony
Merlina' Testimony
BEfore ChRIST
My life before I put trust into my religion
"I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. I studied under Gamaliel and was thoroughly trained in the law of our ancestors. I was just as zealous for God as any of you are today. I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison, as the high priest and all the Council can themselves testify. I even obtained letters from them to their associates in Damascus and went there to bring these people as prisoners to Jerusalem to be punished."~Acts 22: 3-5
I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. Haitian American to the bone. I have two sisters, both of whom are younger than me. My entire immediate family is Christian, so attending church on Sunday was a habit or a custom for us. I also attended Catholic school for a significant chunk of my childhood. Life occurred, and things were pretty terrible for us at one time; we went broke, and it was simply rough, really rough. I determined in late middle school, maybe 6th or 7th grade, that I didn't want anything to do with God just because of how things were looking for my family and me. My extremely religious grandma never gave up hope, she constantly prayed and, nothing, nada, niche, we were still going through misery so then and there I was done.
In the middle of everything going on at home, things at school weren't going so well. Fast forward to a time when I was depressed and suicidal. I was very much giving I needed to be checked into a hospital. I wouldn't eat, I couldn't concentrate in school, and I cried all the time. It was truly a nightmare. I confided in my grandma about how I was feeling (not the suicide part chile, I ain't told a soul in my family). She advised me to pray since only God could assist me. She also resolved to fasting and praying to assist me. Given that I hadn't talked to God and didn't even know how to pray, you can imagine how difficult it was for me to seek God's aid because I knew I had offended Him with my lifestyle. Of course, I never committed suicide, but that week God made it clear that I needed a relationship with Him.
Conversion
Putting in the work, and devoting my life
"A man named Ananias came to see me. He was a devout observer of the law and highly respected by all the Jews living there. He stood beside me and said, ‘Brother Saul, receive your sight!’ And at that very moment, I was able to see him.“Then he said: ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard. And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’"~Acts 22: 6-16
After all of this, I determined to learn more about God and returned to my origins. I began praying more, reading the Bible, and just talking to my grandmother. She explained to me that the Bible is God's message to us, which was essentially a reiteration of what I had learned in Catholic school and throughout my church attendance. Reading the Bible reminded me of things I had forgotten about. God created us to follow his plan and have a healthy connection with him. He did, however, give us the option of following His plan or ours. We choose ours via sin, and sin separates us from Him. Of course, God still loves us and sent his only son, Jesus, to die for our sins. He assures us that we can only have a connection with God if we believe in him. I didn't want to face this reality. For months, I tried my utmost to do good things to gain the right to know God, but I failed every time. I just gave up one day while fasting (not food, but profanity), I was suffering so much and felt like a failure. Then, as if God had come down and touched me, I realized that He didn't care what I could accomplish for Him. He still loved me. I eventually confessed to God in prayer that I was a sinner who couldn't save myself. I let Jesus into my life so that I could begin living for him.
Life with God
Doing my best on my path and not giving up
"Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."~Revelation 12: 10-11
My eyes have been awakened and I perceive Jesus' presence everywhere since I asked Jesus to take control of my life. Every day, God provides me the ability to repent of my wrongdoing. I'm not perfect, but I'm a very different person today. I no longer put my faith in my own abilities since I know God will provide for me. I trust in Jesus and tell others about Him because of all the joy He’s given me. Please understand that, as I already stated, I am not perfect. I still do things I'm not meant to do, such as smoking, drinking, skipping prayers, I still cuss to this day, and even going days without touching my bible. I am a work in progress, but trust, I am trying, and that's all that counts to me: not giving up and constantly placing one foot in front of the other on the path he's set me on.
Thanks!
The One and Only Merlina! All done by moi!
Honestly and truly, thank you for taking the time to read though my testimony!