Relationship Analysis Project

Relationship Analysis Project

Hannah Schuette

Introduction

For this project, I will be evaluating one of the most significant and impactful relationships in my life. Unlike many other relationships in my life, my relationship with my mom will remain for the rest of my life so our interactions are very important to my day to day life. I will be evaluating our relationship through different aspects such as our communication, conflict, relationship needs, and our relationship effectiveness.

Description and History

Nature and History

• This relationship, of course, began at my birth and has developed greatly throughout my life
• I chose this relationship to analyze because my mother is one of the closest people to me and I feel that we have strong communication and plenty of experiences to evaluate

Childhood

• Throughout my childhood, I always felt I could rely on my mother and was closer to her than my other family members
• I went to my mom with any issues I had, whether it be social, academic, emotional, etc.
• Being a stay at home mom for most of my childhood, I spent a lot of time bonding with her which further developed our relationship

Moving Across the Country

• The year before my freshman year, I moved from Colorado to North Carolina
• This move put some conflict into our relationship, and it took me a while to regain comfort with her
• Overtime, our relationship began redeveloping, and I became close to her again

Current Relationship

• Since moving to college, maintaining my relationship with my mom has been essential to my mental health
• I often take trips home to communicate with her about any issues I have, or just to destress
• I still contact her daily, which I feel helps me feel more comfortable when I am away from home

Relationship Needs

Needs

What needs does this relationship fill?

• Physical Needs: Our relationship fills this need for both my mom and I, as communicating is essential to our well being to help us both feel less lonely and stressed
• Relational Needs: By providing each other an outlet for problems, we fill this need by being an "escape" and giving each other affection through support
• Identity: This need is filled for me moreso than my mom, as she has helped me discover my interests and strengths both throughout my childhood and in college
• Instramental: This is also filled for me more because communicating with my mom provides me with needs such as food, money, etc.

Rewards and Demands

• Many of the rewards we both recieve from this relationship are emotional: support, destressing, encouragement, etc.
• As far as demands, we must continue communication, sometimes over the phone, to maintain our relationship. Also, we must sometimes put our issues aside to provide support to the other

Communication

Relationship Theory

• An explanation for the strength of our relationship is the Attraction Theory
• Task attraction states that people are attracted to ones abilities and dependability
• I have always looked up to my mom because she was able to build her own life and become independent after going through a divorce and being a stay at home mom most of my life

Communication

• Communication has been very important in our relationship, especially when it comes to settling conflict
• When settling conflict, we have learned to compromise and sacrifice for each other, as well as speak with "I feel" statements rather than blaming the other person
• A lot of our communication is also emotional and intimate because she is often my go-to person for many life issues and I feel she is where I gained most of my emotional intelligence from

What makes us family?

• Although my mom and I are family because of genetic ties, we are also bonded by role behaviors
• Not only does my mom support me financially, which is a role parents often have, but she also provides emotional support and acts as a caring figure in my life, which is often a mothers "role" in a family

Conflict and Power

How is power used?

• Since we have a mother-child relationship, our relationship would be complimentary
• My mom has the most power in our relationship, because she supports me financially and also provides a fallback to many situations.
• For example, if I had an issue such as a car problem, I would rely on my mom to help me pay to fix it, giving her control in the relationship

Nature of Conflict

• One of the largest conflicts we have had was about moving across the country since I did not want to leave my friends and family behind
• Our conflicts are almost always interdependent because our decisions and actions make a large affect on each other, especially in these situations.
• In this situation, we also both had incompatible goals because we saw moving in different perspectives and each were affected by the decision in different ways

(moody teen)

Managing Conflict

• In this case as well as most of my life early on, I usually dealt with conflict with my mom in ineffective ways, such as defensiveness and contemptuousness. In this example, I was very rude for a while after moving before realizing the intent behind her decision
• Now, we us a lot more useful strategies when problems arise, mostly compromising. My mom has also been very accommodating in many conflicts because she would rather be sacrificial that have me lose something, which I appreciate.

Relationship Effectiveness

Areas of Improvement

• One large area of improvement between us would be our interactions about food and health- this is a common issue between mother-daughter relationships
• My mom has always had a somewhat unhealthy relationship with eating and body image, which she has sometimes pushed onto me
• Solving this issue could be done through communication about the subject, as well as helping her solve her perspectives about food and her own body

Conclusion

Evaluating our relatioinship helped me to take a lot into some of the more negative aspects of our relationship that I often do not consider, such as interpersonal conflict and effectiveness issues. I also saw how my own maturity has affected our relationship by allowing me to be a more effective communicator and problem solver. This applies to many other relationships in my life- as I have gotten older I have developed more effective ways to manage conflict and create more healthy interactions. Making these observations may help me in future relationships to better understand the root of my conflicts as well as how I can go about solving them.