5 Languages of Appreciation at Work

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman & Paul White

#1

Appreciation Language

Words of Affirmation

"Words of Affirmation is the language that uses words to communicate a positive message to another person."

"When you speak this language, you are verbally affirming a positive characteristic about a person." page 56

• "Effective verbal praise is specific and sincere. Once you 'catch' someone doing a positive behavior and recognize it specifically, it is more likely to continue."
• "Affirmations could also be character or personality traits. These traits include, self-discipline, perseverance, honesty, integrity, patience, humility, kindness, unselfishness, optimistic, neat, logical, or communicative. How can we affirm these traits in a person and connect it to the long-term impact of an organization?"
• "You must understand in which context the recipient of the words of affirmation prefers. Ex. Some people want a verbal affirmation, but they do not want to be praised in front of others."
• possible ways to affirm: one-on-one, praise in front of others who are important to them, written note, large setting
• "Approximately 45% of employees choose words as their language of appreciation."

"Within the next two weeks, can you verbalize an affirmation for a positive trait you observe?"

#2

Appreciation Language

Quality Time

"Quality Time means showing the person they are valued by giving them your most precious resource: your time."

"A key element of Quality Time is not proximity, but personal attention." page 69

• "Focused, undivided attention is one of the most important aspects of quality time." It does not have to be a long amount of time, but it should be a time of purposeful presence for both people.
• "Quality conversation is another form of quality time, focusing on dialogue in which two individuals are sharing their thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. The focus is what you are hearing, with questions for clarification and understanding of what you are saying."
• "Shared experiences is a type of quality time. These types of experiences can be an important part of team building for a group." How do you honor this type of language in a pandemic?
• Collegial task work is another type of quality time. This type of quality time provides for learning from others and also establishing value in contributions from members of the group.
• Small group dialogue is the last type of quality time. Providing spaces for small groups to discuss experiences or feedback is preferable to some because it makes those people who do not prefer one-on-one discussions feel more safe and open to sharing.

How is offering quality time similar to coaching?

#3

Appreciation Language

Acts of Service

"Providing assistance to one's colleagues is a powerful expression of appreciation. Actions speak louder than words for the language of Acts of Service."

"Don't tell me that you care, show me."page 82

• "True leadership, whatever your position in the organization, requires a willingness to serve others -- both one's customers and one's colleagues."
• "When a task is completed with the assistance of a supervisor, it can be extremely encouraging and create a sense of comraderie to the staff as a whole and can lead to successful organizations."
• How can you serve others effectively:
• Make sure your own responsibilities are covered before volunteering to help others
• most jobs are interrelated so your incompletion might affect the overall whole
• Ask before you help
• Helping someone if they do not want it can create tension. Also, it sometimes takes asking someone a second time if they would like help. When asking a second time, it helps to be more specific with how you can help.
• Don't assume you know what they want or need
• If you are going to help, do it their way.
• Clarify how they want it done. You do not need to share your way or another way
• Serve voluntarily
• Have a cheerful rather than critical attitude
• Complete what you start
• you can set the limits of the time you are able to help

Is there anything I can do for you tthat would make your work go better for you this week?

#4

Appreciation Language

Tangible Gifts

"Giving the right gift to a person who appreciates tangible rewards can send a powerful message of thanks, appreciation, and encouragement."

"A key aspect of a meaningful gift in showing appreciation is that it is personal." page 95

"Ask yourself, What would this person enjoy?What are their interests? What would make them feel specifcal and appreciated?

• "Tangible gifts is the least chose language of appreciation, so you need to give gifts primarily to those who appreciate them. " Without specificity it turns into a rewards program.
• "You must give a gift the person values. For example, the supervisor chose a gift that is meaninful to the person (a food gift card) and also included a handwritten note to make it more personalized and show time and effort on their part."

#5

Appreciation Language

Physical Touch

"Physical Touch is a way of acknowledging another person's value and can be deeply encouraging. However, these actions are highly individualized and depend on the person, the type of work relationship, and the organizational subculture."

"It is critical to remember that the recipient is always the authority on what is acceptable touch." page 110

• Physical Touch is the least chosen language of appreciation.
• "The surest way to find out the appropriateness of physical touch is simply to inquire."
• "Touch is a means of expressing excitement and joy. Examples of appropriate physical touch could be a high-five, a fistbump, a congratulatory handshake, or a pat on the back. "
• "Physical Touch can also be used to communicate care, concern, and empathy. "

"Observe how people respond when something good happens in the workplace. Take time to notice the number of handshakes, fistbumps, high fives, and other physical gestures."

Big Ideas from my school site

Continue with the CKH model and establishing good things in the classroom each day.

How can you be intentional about finding the language of appreciation with your staff? How does this help you as a coach?

Can you use the adult learner profiles to assist in identifying other things about teachers that could help you as you observe them? How could you display it so it is a descriptor of a person and tells their story before you enter the room?

How people interpret your attempt is almost as important as the affirmation you are giving. Being genuine and giving an effort can outweigh the appreciation delivery type, especially if that is not the most valued language of appreciation.

Make sure to include all members of the organizzation: teachers, support staff, especially cafeteria workers, bus drivers, and custodians.

Adult Learner Profile link from North Charleston High School PD